Army July 2021

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Army July 2021

Good morning folks, once again I am finding joy in a sober Sunday morning, my favorite part of the week. It has been beautiful weather here the past few days so I am making the most of it in spending what time I can out in nature when not stuck behind a desk. I was in the woods yesterday and it is true what they say, it is so good for the soul, the sun on my back and the fresh air in my lungs, I am only short of hugging a tree.
Although I am once again not posting a lot I do read the army thread most days, it just I don’t find I have much advice to offer, comments on what little is going on in my life right now seem so mundane, I suppose I am finding it difficult sometimes to make a connection with others outside of small talk on any meaningful level. Why I feel this way is something I need to look at more closely. I was thinking or more accurately it is dawning on me that perhaps because I was a daily drinker for so many years I must have spent a lot of my time when not actually drunk or hungover then slightly inebriated to some extent and my view of everything was slightly skewed. I believe this has hindered the growth of my social skills and ability to mix for I am not what you would call good with people. This is true especially in a group when I am asked to speak, less so on a one to one but even sometimes just posting on a forum. A sense of self awareness but not in a selfish way is possibly just part of this sober journey and all part of change for the better. Just an observation and I was was wondering can anyone else identify with this?

[mollyka]

Re: Army July 2021

Good morning folks, once again I am finding joy in a sober Sunday morning, my favorite part of the week. It has been beautiful weather here the past few days so I am making the most of it in spending what time I can out in nature when not stuck behind a desk. I was in the woods yesterday and it is true what they say, it is so good for the soul, the sun on my back and the fresh air in my lungs, I am only short of hugging a tree.
Although I am once again not posting a lot I do read the army thread most days, it just I don’t find I have much advice to offer, comments on what little is going on in my life right now seem so mundane, I suppose I am finding it difficult sometimes to make a connection with others outside of small talk on any meaningful level. Why I feel this way is something I need to look at more closely. I was thinking or more accurately it is dawning on me that perhaps because I was a daily drinker for so many years I must have spent a lot of my time when not actually drunk or hungover then slightly inebriated to some extent and my view of everything was slightly skewed. I believe this has hindered the growth of my social skills and ability to mix for I am not what you would call good with people. This is true especially in a group when I am asked to speak, less so on a one to one but even sometimes just posting on a forum. A sense of self awareness but not in a selfish way is possibly just part of this sober journey and all part of change for the better. Just an observation and I was was wondering can anyone else identify with this?

Absolutely identify with that Tabs...I found drinking turned me into a social animal....the lazy way..I didn't have to practise socialising..alcohol made me good at it..so yeah..never worked on it..funnily enough Joe can play the social game much better than I can..the small talk..the filling in the gaps.
If I'm interested in something I can talk for Ireland..but useless with small talk...as you can see - this topic interests me:welldone:
Morning all xx

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army July 2021

Morning and waves to the world,
[MENTION=21798]Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)[/MENTION].............'A sense of self-awareness but not in a selfish way is possibly just part of this sober journey and all part of change for the better. Just an observation and I was wondering can anyone else identify with this?'

For me these words jumped out at me. It is part and parcel of healing. We do change and on the whole for the better. We stunted our growth through many years of drinking and it takes time to find the 'real' you. I hated myself and couldn't understand why Mr. JC stuck around for so long..........I still ask him how he managed to stay with me...............he said it was easy as he loves me.

Mundane stuff...........I've got to make a potato salad for the Euro final tonight. Himself is going next door to watch the final and I'll be hiding behind the settee with Mikey.

[rustop59]

Re: Army July 2021

Morning and waves to the world,
[MENTION=21798]Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)[/MENTION].............'A sense of self-awareness but not in a selfish way is possibly just part of this sober journey and all part of change for the better. Just an observation and I was wondering can anyone else identify with this?'

Mundane stuff...........I've got to make a potato salad for the Euro final tonight. Himself is going next door to watch the final and I'll be hiding behind the settee with Mikey.

Afternoon all. Totally agree with you JC. Know a few people who were drug users when young and their stunted development is very obvious. Probably not as obvious but still applies to us alcohol users. Also I know I am an introvert and really this pandemic suits me. Not into socializing, much happier with a few close friends and immediate family and walking in nature.

I have to pick up beer for himself for the match. ThatÂ’s my contribution. Might watch it or at least stay in the room, itÂ’s either that or love island. Wet and grey here and no walk. Lab/retriever has injured his paw so feeling very sorry for himself. Annoying everyone as this is his second day without a walk. Doing a roast chicken dinner and will buy the Sunday papers so lazy day planned. Glad you got the stove sorted Molly. Absolutely love our one. Have a good Sunday everyone.

[mollyka]

Re: Army July 2021

God yeah ..Max got no walk yesterday cos Danny the Stove was here and he's MAD...we both brought him for a smashing wild walk on beach this morn and he's calmer now thank the gods!!!!I

Match v Love Island ....no contest...Love Island no doubt!!!!

[techie]

Re: Army July 2021

Good morning folks, once again I am finding joy in a sober Sunday morning, my favorite part of the week. It has been beautiful weather here the past few days so I am making the most of it in spending what time I can out in nature when not stuck behind a desk. I was in the woods yesterday and it is true what they say, it is so good for the soul, the sun on my back and the fresh air in my lungs, I am only short of hugging a tree.
Although I am once again not posting a lot I do read the army thread most days, it just I don’t find I have much advice to offer, comments on what little is going on in my life right now seem so mundane, I suppose I am finding it difficult sometimes to make a connection with others outside of small talk on any meaningful level. Why I feel this way is something I need to look at more closely. I was thinking or more accurately it is dawning on me that perhaps because I was a daily drinker for so many years I must have spent a lot of my time when not actually drunk or hungover then slightly inebriated to some extent and my view of everything was slightly skewed. I believe this has hindered the growth of my social skills and ability to mix for I am not what you would call good with people. This is true especially in a group when I am asked to speak, less so on a one to one but even sometimes just posting on a forum. A sense of self awareness but not in a selfish way is possibly just part of this sober journey and all part of change for the better. Just an observation and I was was wondering can anyone else identify with this?

Im in a coffee shop w/o my glasses, so excuse any typos here. I felt compelled to comment here. Thank you for this wonderful thought provoking post. I absolutely resonate with this. While I tend to not share much on this thread, I do read it daily. I also tend to stay in my corner, but do engage here as well as out in public on important issues. I consider myself a situational extrovert for the most part. While we cannot reclaim what we’ve lost while using drugs and drinking, sobriety allows all of us the opportunity to take our power back. I think the social skills I needed to rebuild during my sobriety were listening (two way conversation), empathy, and understanding unspoken cues, I.e., body language. When I was abusing substances, I tended to power through social situations, bullying, often embarrassing myself and others. I now know that alcohol & drugs impairs the information processing needed to inhibit response impulses--the abilities to foresee negative consequences of ones actions. Other benefits of a sober life are the ability to address unresolved issue, reign in our judgements, and embrace the power of forgiveness, especially ourselves. We can all improve every aspect of our lives, if we’re willing to do the work. Thank you, KTAB.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army July 2021

Morning and waves to the world,
Sigh...........another penalty shoot-out and we lost. Shame they didn't start the match with the penalty shoot-out at the beginning then we could have watched a movie on the Disney channel. We signed up for 6 months free and forgot to cancel it. The weather suits the feeling of all of England..............grey and hissing down.

Although the family WhatsApp group was hilarious. My cousin in the USA says his twins are sick and tired of singing Three Lions. Mind you his wife is full of joy as she's half Italian.

[rustop59]

Re: Army July 2021

Morning and waves to the world,
Sigh...........another penalty shoot-out and we lost. Shame they didn't start the match with the penalty shoot-out at the beginning then we could have watched a movie on the Disney channel. We signed up for 6 months free and forgot to cancel it. The weather suits the feeling of all of England..............grey and hissing down.

Although the family WhatsApp group was hilarious. My cousin in the USA says his twins are sick and tired of singing Three Lions. Mind you his wife is full of joy as she's half Italian.

Evening JC and everyone else. Hard to loose, especially with penalties but I guess the Italians are happy. Felt sorry for the young players who had to take them, especially the one who missed.

Just in from work, only one day to go and then I’m off for nearly three weeks. Looking forward to it. Working full time the first two weeks of August though.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Army July 2021

Evening folks, thank you all for taking the time and effort to answer my post and share your thoughts and experiences on this. You guys nailed it exactly.
I am now thinking for me this is all part of the same complex mix of self criticism, regrets and sometimes even self loathing I felt when trapped in the endless cycle of active addictive drinking, trying to stop then failing again and again. This stunted social development was something I didn’t even realise was happening and it was not only that but also being stunted emotionally, for why face any bad emotions when temporary escape was only a few drinks away?
As we say it is only when the fog lifts that the real work begins if we are genuine in our commitment to change.

[IamMary]

Re: Army July 2021

Evening.
Home! Great holiday and just lovely hanging out with my folks, siblings, kids etc.. Plenty of boozing, but no pressure, they are all used to me now and Im not the only one.

I havet read back properly, but another angle on that Tabbers could be habit? Even checking in here this evening after a week away, I had mild anxiety, Im out of the loop, what will I say!! You gave me an opening, so thanks for that :happy2:

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army July 2021

Morning and waves to the undies,
[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]........welcome home.
Just one more night of wearing my eye protector.................I can wash my hair tomorrow. I don't need to wear it in bed propped up either.

[MENTION=15758]rustop59[/MENTION]...........do you have to do this every year? Is it covering for other people who are taking time off?

[Guitarista]

Re: Army July 2021

A sense of self awareness but not in a selfish way is possibly just part of this sober journey and all part of change for the better. Just an observation and I was was wondering can anyone else identify with this?

Yo Tabbers and troopers everywhere,

Like JC, This jumped out at me too. I'm approaching 3 years af and i can say my mind set has exploded towards the positive (with daily practice). The cliches like 'contentment', 'peace of mind' are there solidly and growing as i nurture and protect my mind set and general perspective on the world and my place in or of it. Self awareness has been a necessary thing to explore as i needed/need to see myself coming and be able to PAUSE quietly without fanfare, lest i do or say something stupid. I've worked out that my core beliefs, the standard ingrained years old inner story was what would always be the cause of a return to rack and ruin. Exploration of self discovered this and other gems lol. Am still a bit awkward socially, other times the MC, but flipping the previously unsure, fairly negative perspective to an almost ruthlessly regular positive mental attitude with high vibes man, has been a game changer. I can see the difference and the results are talkin'. Sobriety can allow the return of our natural confidence and need for connection, eventually. As long as i keep growing and striving to be my best self every day, i see personal growth and confidence, via an intention to live in a more aware state. Everyone's a winner!

[rustop59]

Re: Army July 2021

Morning and waves to the undies,
[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]........welcome home.
Just one more night of wearing my eye protector.................I can wash my hair tomorrow. I don't need to wear it in bed propped up either.

[MENTION=15758]rustop59[/MENTION]...........do you have to do this every year? Is it covering for other people who are taking time off?

Evening everyone. I job share JC and I usually cover holidays for the girl I share with. Delighted you can wash your hair etc. tomorrow. Hopefully you now have it all behind you. Any word from Brit? Also hope Joe is feeling better.

Welcome back Mary. Am sure it was lovely to get away. Wonderful thoughtful posts gentlemen. Glad to see Tabs, Techie and Guitarista are dropping in. Officially on holiday now so going to make the most of it.

[IamMary]

Re: Army July 2021

So have you had the eye protector on since the op [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION]? Tomorrow will be magic.

but flipping the previously unsure, fairly negative perspective to an almost ruthlessly regular positive mental attitude with high vibes man, has been a game changer.

Really well put Mr G, the difference is night and day.

Eldest has gone camping with a gang of friends (and new girlfriend). This is the first proper trip away on their own :egad: noone explained how they speed through these years like nothing before!!

[rustop59]

Re: Army July 2021

[QUOTE=

Eldest has gone camping with a gang of friends (and new girlfriend). This is the first proper trip away on their own :egad: noone explained how they speed through these years like nothing before!![/QUOTE]

Ain’t that the truth. I honestly don’t know where the last 10 years have disappeared to. Can’t believe my two are late 20’s! Morning everyone. Had a very early walk and it was beautiful. Daughter arriving this afternoon, can’t believe it. Can’t wait to give her a hug, it’s been a horrible 6 months. However, she is lucky in so many ways, has her health, a job and a nice place to live in a beautiful city. Her friend was operated on for brain tumour last week, getting results this Friday. Puts everything in perspective. She will get over the boyfriend, only thing that will help is time. I can notice the difference in my other daughter last month or so. She’s starting to meet friends and have a life again. Right better go clean the house and make up her bed.