Newbies Nest

[Matt M.]

Good morning all,
Checking in.
I have been around reading just not posting. No particular reason.
With that being said, I believe this is a fallacy on my part. No I'm not beating myself up for not checking in, but past history reminds me, the many attempts to quit on MY terms, with MY will, sucked.

I have been very busy working, and the thought of drink has been subtle at times, Yet I know that if I just rock along like nothing is wrong, and " I got this" bullshit, and do not stay connected to some kind of support the bitter result will be inevitable. Without help and accountability I AM DEFENSELESS OVER ALCOHOL!


This is more of a reminder for me, I know its been mentioned many times before.
One thing is consistent in these rooms, the ones with many days AL free are still in here day in and day out!

KENSHO~ I have the utmost respect for you, yes you have slipped yet you humbly come back, I commend you for that. No shame from me, nothing but respect and support!

I'm not sure I have another quit in me, or day one, mostly due to pride and ego, pride and ego has destroyed many of men!

[Rivergal]

I feel so out of control where I simply want to hide from everything. I do not know why I am here posting- i don't deserve to be. So they say it gets easier with time- that hasn't been my case. I am losing this fucking battle and I hate it, myself, and all of the people i hurt. I hate living so dishonestly. I am just not sure I can do this on my own.

[NoSugar]

Hi, RG. It is so good to see you. It is hard. All of us who make our ways to a site like this know that.
Living such a dishonest life is what finally became intolerable for me - this one part of my life was in opposition to all the rest of it but over time, had come to dominate everything.
Don't hate yourself. Hate the addiction.

Do you know what lead to your drinking? Maybe we could help you adjust your plan to avoid that pitfall in the future.

I am so glad you came back! Love, NS

[narilly]

River, it does suck big time! So glad you are here, You CAN win this battle. Do whatever it takes to kick it. Can you go to a help group in your area? That might really help. Is Rehab an option? Go to the tool box and read, keep coming here.

Just get through today River, don't drink today. Go for a walk and Breathe...have a treat, maybe something sweet. Do something that doesn't involve drinking- maybe go to a show or a movie...anything that gets you away from the stuff. We are here to talk to you anytime. All of us are in this together and we feel your pain.
24 hours to get through today.
YOU can do it!!

Big hugs from me.

[narilly]

Everyone, check out the Bubble hour, latest episode on relapse. It is a good one to listen to.

http://www.thebubblehour.com/2014/10/i-relapsed-now-what.html

[See the Light]

Yes, great stuff here over the last day or so. You miss a little time here and you miss a lot. Reading posts from this and other boards is surely inspiring and motivational to many. A big part of my motivation to not drink now besides the obvious physical health benefits are the mental health benefits.

Earlier this year my daughter (5 years old at the time) told my wife that she hated me more than once. That crushed me, but I probably deserved it as I was always a grumpy and generally negative person when I drank.

Alcohol is a depressant, which means it can disrupt that balance, affecting our thoughts, feelings and actions – and sometimes our long-term mental health. This is partly down to ‘neurotransmitters’, chemicals that help to transmit signals from one nerve (or neuron) in the brain to another.
But, as you drink more, more of the brain starts to be affected. It doesn’t matter what mood you’re in to start with, when high levels of alcohol are involved, instead of pleasurable effects increasing, it’s possible that a negative emotional response will take over. You could become angry, aggressive, anxious or depressed.

I don’t want that.
Now that I am sober, the first thing my daughter wants to do in the morning and the last thing before bedtime is give me a hug. What more motivation in the world do I need to not drink again that that?

Stay strong and AF today out there.

[available]

STL, children are so very precious. Mine are all in their early to mid 20's and they are my reason for not drinking each and every day. to see the look of how proud they are of me is enough to keep me away from al. To be there for them at anytime of day or night is a sense of comfort to them now. They have all of me.
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River, i remember vividly how i felt when i wanted to stop drinking but didnt think i had it in me to do this shite again. I was so depressed and anxious and just so down on myself. Why bother i thought. Really who would care if i drank and died and the kids would be better off. I just nearly gave up but i dug up some determination from god knows where and thought i just have to try one last time. I knew i would not sleep normally or eat normally or be bloody normal for a few weeks. I stayed glued to mwo and posted like a damn lunatic. i had let myself down enough and my family and i needed to bloody try. FFS i was the only one that could do this and i wasnt alone, not on here, never on here. My first week especially revolved around watching al movies and doco's and being on here 24/7. I took valium for anxiety and slept when i was tired. It was horrible, absolutely and totally horrible but i did this to myself over the years and really at the end of the day i wanted to live. If you feel you are losing this battle the fight back with everything you have, it is a battle that you will never regret winning. The battle lessens over time and feeling a sense of achievement is a wonderful feeling. You can do this River. One day at a time girl is all we can do. If you need extra help then please seek it. I found on mwo that no one understands an alky like a fellow alky.

Sending you hugs River and we are all here for you. Bris come and join the fun, you can have a quit buddy.

Glad to see you back Matt and yep you are soooooooooo right, the ones with numbers up are the ones that constantly check in, day and night. I used to wake up and log into facebook now i wake up and log into here. I log in at work and i log in when i get home. Nothing is going to take away what i have now. Even if i dont post i always read.

[KENSHO]

I love that STL! Those kiddos really know what's going on.

RIVER, you're not losing because you are here. You are not losing because you are not giving up! Hang in there!

[abcowboy]

Rivergal - Just the fact that you came back speaks for itself!!

My life had been pretty good before I stopped drinking. But every week, incrementally, bit by bit, as miserable as I felt sober, life got better because I didn't drink. The "obsession" to drink started to fade at around 3 months sober. I started to develop realistic goals. The need for daily naps started to go away, and I had energy to meet my goals.

The voice that tells you that you can have just one to enhance your autumn experience is lying to you. Nothing about the beauty of the season, of pumpkins, changing leaves, or crisp weather has to do with pouring alcohol into your system; that's your alcoholism wanting to feed itself. And that AV isn't happy til we're dead.

Find the support you need to stay sober. It's worth it!

[Mr. B]

Thank you to all for your support. This is what I need. I'm here to stay. At 42 years and fighting this damn demon for over 10 years must come to an end. Before it's to late. I hurt myself this last go around.

[Guitarista]

MAE Nesters near and not so far,

Hang in there with us Rivergirl. You can do this. The sober life is the truth for us. Do you have a good doc you can work with there? Or some sort of AL support service available? Sometimes we need to seek out and reach out in real life too. Make some phone calls friend.

Best wishes, G.

EDIT: Good to have you here Mr B. Go for it and do what you have to do. G

[Byrdlady]

What a day! My shoes fell apart during my trip and I had to tape them together! First one shoe blew, then the other! it was awful! Made it to the hotel in one piece, about to meet my coworkers down at the bar. i will be the one having water! ( I also never get stuck with the check)

hugs to all stay strong! Its because I did in the early days that I am NOT worried about tonight! Xo, B

[Guitarista]

Nice one Byrdy!

I used to gaffa tape my jeans together. They were so comfy, i'd wear them as long as possible. Kids! Well, i'm still one. Have a good night.

[narilly]

Byrdie, buy some New Shoes! Nothing like a good pick me up

Mr B, it's is as hard as hell but you can do it. One day at a time.
River, hang in there girl.
It took me a long time to finally quit drinking. I went to AA back in 2001, 2003,2004,2008,2009. Joined MWO in 2006 and finally now i can say I have been sober for 6 months and hopefully will be for ever. We can do this together, a huge reason I was able to get six months was because of the support on MWO.

Listening to The Bubble Hour helped a ton too.

Geez I have a few days off now and I don't know what to do! I guess I will go swimming tomorrow and there is always Costco....love Costco.
Xo

[narilly]

Hello G,! Glad you got your jeans back together