Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Matt, great job on recognizing Trigger....he is a wiley B****d. He comes in just as our defenses are down. Well there's a new Sherriff in town...and he doesn't take crap...Marshall Matt M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best defense is a great offense, and you are working it. Stick close! We'll form a posse and ward him off....we will run Trigger outta town!

Hanna, you have a good perspective on this. Kensho nailed it, to, saying listen to the 90%! I'm in sales, and we have a strategy....Reduce to the Ridiculous. This means that if you tell me my price is too high, I ask, 'How much too high is it?' Then I take THAT chunck and reduce it to where it's more palatable. Same applies here, my problem hours were between 5-8 pm. That's 3 BAD hours out of a 24 hour day....that's not so overwhelming. I planned things to fill that time, like logging in here and learning as much as I could about this disease I have. There are 7 year's worth of fantastic reading material here, especially one started by NoSugar, it's an online media thread, full of great articles and stuff to teach you the "How's and Why's" of it all. Of course the Tool Box is essential. I STILL find new things in there that are helpful!! So once you set up your environment for those very few hours of concern, you will find that it's not nearly as bad as you anticipated!! It's the FEAR of it all that gets us (ain't that always the case!!) Break it on down, you can do it! (there's a Rap song in there somewhere!!!) :spin:

MORE 30 day kudos to celebrate ! BEACHGIRLY and J-VO are checking in with 30 days!!!! Hats all around! :guy: :guy: As you know, we like a speech! Do you have any words of wisdom for us? What helped you reach this peak performance? GREAT JOB, you two!!!! Keep up the great work!!!

Hugs to all, hope it's an easy day!!! Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF and you'll be so glad you did! Byrdie

[Londoner]

I relapsed hard this weekend just gone. The difference being this time it was around my immediate family. The truth almost got out. That is reality.

Been in bed since then. Negative thoughts racing through my head.

I am trying to learn as much as I can from this relapse. I believe the alcohol intake goes up in social situations where I feel uncomfortable - almost as if I have to be something I am not to fit in. So I need to work on being happy on who I am.

Also, I live for instant gratification/laziness too much. Internet, alcohol, processed foods, cars etc. Time to slow down and enjoy the process more instead of wanting to be somewhere else all of the time.

[See the Light]

GMAE nesters-

Awesome job on 30 days Jennie, Beachy and Jvo!

Hang in there Matt—thanks for sharing..shit happens in life, drinking doesn’t have to

Londoner- sorry you relapsed, but you have to embrace those negative feelings…they are the ones telling you something about drinking and you don’t mix and you want change. Pick yourself up dust it off, and be happy with who you are. Keep working on things that make you happy, so you will realize that drinking is the one thing that will ruin your happiness. You can do this

Hope everyone else is having a great, positive and AF day…

[Byrdlady]

I relapsed hard this weekend just gone. The difference being this time it was around my immediate family. The truth almost got out. That is reality.

Been in bed since then. Negative thoughts racing through my head.

I am trying to learn as much as I can from this relapse. I believe the alcohol intake goes up in social situations where I feel uncomfortable - almost as if I have to be something I am not to fit in. So I need to work on being happy on who I am.

Also, I live for instant gratification/laziness too much. Internet, alcohol, processed foods, cars etc. Time to slow down and enjoy the process more instead of wanting to be somewhere else all of the time.

What can we do to help? Tell us what you need....we will do whatever we can to lend a hand to get you out of this pit....Can you tell us the best way to help YOU? B

[Londoner]

What can we do to help? Tell us what you need....we will do whatever we can to lend a hand to get you out of this pit....Can you tell us the best way to help YOU? B

I feel lonely. Different in some way. I find it hard to hold down relationships. I've never succeeded on my own.

It's been a decade that I've been using booze to get me through social situations. But my body just cannot take it. Or my mind. I feel further away from anything than ever.

Alcohol is the easy escape. Society sets you up for that easy escape.

[Londoner]

And reading what I have written makes me sound needy and moany.

I need to get up. Stand on my own two feet and face the challenges ahead.

Learn from every low.

[Matt M.]

Thanks everyone for your concerns and advice it is heartfelt.

Londoner~ To echo what the Byrd master stated, the tools, resources, support are here at our disposal,not just occasionally either. I'm pretty sure we have the United nations covered with our members, in different time zones. With that being said the effort and perseverance is going to have to come from YOU.

Also, I live for instant gratification/laziness too much. Internet, alcohol, processed foods, cars etc. Time to slow down and enjoy the process more instead of wanting to be somewhere else all of the time.

ME TOO! Being restless, irritable, and discontent and not reaching out is a one way ticket to drunkville for me anyway.
But being restless, irritable, and discontent and recognizing this massive trigger, sharing it with another lunatic/drunk is a proven recipe for success!
I'll go out on a limb and tell you, there is a 100% chance you won't do this on your own. No amount of willpower can change it. I have battled and conquered many issues with will power. I stand before all and admit defeat to Alcohol, yet the victory is all mine.
Find you a pen pal/ accountability partner, there are many in these rooms, stay connected!
Glad your back stay hard!

[ALpro]

Ran across a thread on MWO titled " Lonely Hearts Club.........looking for lost members" and noticed a bit of irony.
Seems most of those who posted back then wondering what happened to other members are now MIA themselves.
Hmm.....makes you think. Will this happen to us?
Stay close my friends.

[BeachGirly]

Hi

It is actually day 48 for me - not 30.

But thank you for the well wishes- feels great !

BeachGirly

[Londoner]

The one thing I question is whether I have an underlying mental issue or am susceptible to ill effects when living a less than ideal lifestyle (poor nutrition, poor sleep, lack of activity etc.).

I can also come across as very strange when I am under the influence. Again. A completely different person.

Episodes of drink and drug use see's my thought processes run in a way that is not me. It's like a separate reality. I am down, cannot hold conversation, do not care about much.

But in the past, 4 weeks of Buddhist type living has really sorted me out. As if a new person.

Maybe it is a blessing in disguise, that the only way I can give my best to the World is when I live, for me, what is a good lifestyle.

Maybe I need to understand this. Maybe I am more susceptible to the ills of poor lifestyle choices. Maybe I need to spend extra care and attention on the details to keep the bigger picture clearer.

[Overit-still]

Londoner, if that makes you "more susceptible" count me in. I think we are that way because of the drink. That is the consequence.

Anyway, great day to wake up sober. I love waking up sober, knowing that there is nothing to be afraid of or of what I've don't I don't know about. It's like telling myself "I got this!"

[Byrdlady]

Londoner,
Thank you for the feedback. Would you believe me if I told you alcohol IS the problem? I have been here a while, and I have seen your sober stints....you are a different person sober. Confident, self-assured, hopeful....the whole package. It's when you drink that the dark side comes out. This is the case for almost ALL of us here. Hells Bells, we wouldn't be here if that weren't the case. If we take a look at the facts (take emotion out of it) AL is causing severe problems in our lives. The answer? Remove AL. Easier said than done. You are/were a fitness trainer, right? You know there is hard work involved in getting fit, but the results are worth it. Same thing here. And truthfully, it is NOT as bad as it seems when you are facing it. You have been sober before, you know things improve dramatically! Let's set ourselves on a path towards that....sound like a PLAN? What day are you on, Day 3?

[Byrdlady]

Ran across a thread on MWO titled " Lonely Hearts Club.........looking for lost members" and noticed a bit of irony.
Seems most of those who posted back then wondering what happened to other members are now MIA themselves.
Hmm.....makes you think. Will this happen to us?
Stay close my friends.

ALpro,
Interestingly, I was JUST looking in the Tool Box for a post for Londoner. It was about never being happy with what we have in hand today, but what we can get NEXT. That applies to drinking especially. I couldn't find the darn thing, but as I looked in there I saw so many familiar 'faces' and wondered what happened to them. I did notice some posts from long timers and they are still here. Which leads me to think that success comes with staying connected to support! During my 5+ years here, I have seen many folks return....when they leave MWO, they don't just ride happily off into the sunset, they are still struggling with this beast. This is something that doesn't just go away. I'd like to think that they are getting help from somewhere, or maybe returning here under another name. Like Matt just said, I know one thing for sure, I couldn't have done this alone! It makes me sad to think there are so many folks out there miserable and stuck in active addiction. Stopping the cycle isn't easy, but it is so worth it, as you know!! B

[Londoner]

The one thought I have, recurring, is that maybe these problems are what I need. They are the light. The shining beacon that can illuminate something deeper.

It is out of this pain that we can grow.

Without this addiction, and sinking in numbness, I would never know anything else apart from mediocrity.

That maybe I can reach something higher by looking back on this. And help others, because I have been in the depths.

[Byrdlady]

Londoner,
I wouldn't wish addiction on a DOG, but I do have to say, as bad as it is, I feel it has made me a stronger, more TOLERANT, and better person. I feel so grateful that I have been given a second chance at life....and I do NOT plan to blow it on AL.
I have seen you work wonders with newbies right here on this site, so I know how capable you are!
So you are on Day 3? B