Newbies Nest

[Overit-still]

Lolling-no mistake at all! You're in the right place for support, just not too informed about your choice of meds. I personally am on Antabuse and it has been a Godsend, let me tell you. Please stick around and get to know us. I'm sure you'll find us all very charming.

I had a whole post to everyone but lost it and have to run so, have a great strong day.

[Byrdlady]

Thanks, Over-It, in my haste I didn't realize how I sounded!

Lolling, please stick around with us! I didn't want you to think that because we weren't responding with anything regarding Baclofen that we didn't 'see' you! We are glad you're here!! B

[LavenderBlue]

Hiya all; running later today and definitely feeling my long walk yesterday! I live in a hilly neighborhood so it's really easy to think I'm doing fine and then have my shins complaining the next day, oops!

I was talking with my mom the other day - she's still trying to quit smoking and not having much luck with it. She was talking about how much respect she has for what I've done and it got me thinking about what I did differently this time as opposed to other times I've tried to quit things. The community here is a big one, of course; but I really think what made it stick was not letting myself see it as "just trying" for one thing. When I'm "trying" I tend to let myself cheat or find loopholes and after a few times of that I'm back where I started.

The other thing (which you guys helped with so much) was retraining my brain into not seeing it as denying myself something I wanted, but working towards something I DO want. It's a process and I'm not saying I never feel the "this is so unfair" thoughts; but the more I redirect my thinking to "But what I really want is to be sober and have a better life" the better my frame of mind is. It's helping me while I try to eat healthier, too - part of my brain is convinced it wants to sit around and eat crap, but I can look at that and think, "Yeah, but I also really want to lose the rest of the drinking weight and get into better shape." I don't know how to explain it, it's just better for me to feel like I'm working TOWARDS something instead of just not letting myself do things?

[Edit: I just realized that might sound like I think I've got everything figured out; I really don't yet! Just got me thinking about what's helped me get this far, and what I need to keep doing.]

Lavande - Thank you and yes, I know it's because you guys care. I get talking so much sometimes and text doesn't show tone of voice well, but I really do! Plus sometime I overexplain because I overthink...which kinda is connected to all the rest, I suppose.

Lilbit - WOOT!!!!!!!! ^^ Congrats on 7 days, that's awesome!

[Overit-still]

Forgot to repost my WOOT WOOT for LilBit!

[available]

Lil congrats on 7 days, i was so proud of myself on finally not having a drink for that time. i knew if i could make it through that week of hell i could do anything and i have.

Matt i got to a stage where i was just waiting to fail. Surely little ole me could not achieve what others had not. I was on tender hooks but i had to get my head out of my arse and realise i am not every one else. we are all different in how we get through each and everyday sober. I had to just keep on doing what i was doing and that was being on here and emailing my helpers/stalkers who i love dearly. The thoughts in your head will subside Matt. Tell your wife how you feel, i am sure the last thing she wants is her husband planning a modding party. You wont drink but the thoughts of failing are high sometimes. I cant afford a trip to texas to knock you into next week if you drank so you wont. The people who helped me on mwo kept me going, they still do. All the time, effort that they put in daily to help others is enough to keep me accountable. They get paid nothing to come on here daily, the help given from here is how i got to where i am and it will get you there too.

Hi Lol, i have no idea on meds either but you are more than welcome to settle in here and get to know us. I always think, do whatever it takes to keep and stay sober. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Thursday today thank god, have a safe one mwoers!

[abcowboy]

Hello to my fine feathered friends! Great to see things hopping in the nest, watch everyone reach those important first dates, day 1, 7 days, 2 weeks, 1 month, and on and on! I’m like LavBlue, come across as an old timer but still as much a newbie as the rest lol. So, why do I come across as an old timer you ask? I was once just like everyone else. Started drinking 40+ years ago, social at first, till about 10 – 15 years ago when my drinking wasn’t just drinking anymore, it was a problem that I couldn’t or wouldn’t admit to. And just like everyone else, I tried all the sure-fire solutions, no drinking before supper, only have 1 or 2, only drink on weekends, change my DOC, but the solutions turned out to be not so sure-fire! The only sure-fire solution was no drinking, at all, period! So I started promising myself and those I loved that I would quit, and I did, for a day, a week, maybe even a month, but always found an excuse to pick up again. That was over a year ago! I managed some substantial AF periods after that, but could never make my quit stick, till 2 months ago. I just about killed myself due to alcohol poisoning in just 3 short hours, and the next day, call it whatever; rock bottom, divine intervention, spiritual awakening, whatever, I knew from that day forward my battle with AL was over. And after 2 months, I am hesitantly confident that this feeling will last the rest of my life. Gone are the cravings for a drink, I can sit around a table where others are drinking without any feeling of guilt or shame. I can drive by any liquor store and not have the impulse to stop in. Do I miss drinking? About as much as I miss the hangovers lol

I wish everyone could experience the freedom that I now have. And that is the way to look at it, not as a battle or struggle, but a freedom from something that held me captive all those years, no longer a prisoner to AL. Freedom is your’s to enjoy, just reach out and grab it and hold on to it! So, no, I don’t consider myself a newbie, but I’m not an old timer yet either, as Lav and Byrdy will tell you, only time will turn you into an old timer, and we get that one day at a time! And if you stick with it, you'll enjoy the freedom that I now feel!

[Byrdlady]

Hello to my fine feathered friends! Great to see things hopping in the nest, watch everyone reach those important first dates, day 1, 7 days, 2 weeks, 1 month, and on and on! I’m like LavBlue, come across as an old timer but still as much a newbie as the rest lol. So, why do I come across as an old timer you ask? I was once just like everyone else. Started drinking 40+ years ago, social at first, till about 10 – 15 years ago when my drinking wasn’t just drinking anymore, it was a problem that I couldn’t or wouldn’t admit to. And just like everyone else, I tried all the sure-fire solutions, no drinking before supper, only have 1 or 2, only drink on weekends, change my DOC, but the solutions turned out to be not so sure-fire! The only sure-fire solution was no drinking, at all, period! So I started promising myself and those I loved that I would quit, and I did, for a day, a week, maybe even a month, but always found an excuse to pick up again. That was over a year ago! I managed some substantial AF periods after that, but could never make my quit stick, till 2 months ago. I just about killed myself due to alcohol poisoning in just 3 short hours, and the next day, call it whatever; rock bottom, divine intervention, spiritual awakening, whatever, I knew from that day forward my battle with AL was over. And after 2 months, I am hesitantly confident that this feeling will last the rest of my life. Gone are the cravings for a drink, I can sit around a table where others are drinking without any feeling of guilt or shame. I can drive by any liquor store and not have the impulse to stop in. Do I miss drinking? About as much as I miss the hangovers lol

I wish everyone could experience the freedom that I now have. And that is the way to look at it, not as a battle or struggle, but a freedom from something that held me captive all those years, no longer a prisoner to AL. Freedom is your’s to enjoy, just reach out and grab it and hold on to it! So, no, I don’t consider myself a newbie, but I’m not an old timer yet either, as Lav and Byrdy will tell you, only time will turn you into an old timer, and we get that one day at a time! And if you stick with it, you'll enjoy the freedom that I now feel!

Im done, too! AL got all its gonna get outta me! I HATE AL! B

[LilBit]

Hey Nesters! Thank you for the woots and moons. Now I know which side is your good side. Day 7 was wonderful, and something strange happened -- two separate men at two different times stopped in their tracks on the street and told me something nice about my appearance (which I won't say because it sounds vain). Anyway, it's been a long time since that happened. Must be the glow of my new-found freedom.

Cowboy, I couldn't agree more with your post. On previous attempts, I made all kinds of deals with myself about how to limit the AL, none of which worked. It's total abstinence for me and -- like you -- I don't feel deprived of something I "deserve." I feel grateful not to be hungover, which face it, except for the hour perhaps of feeling "good" is really the way we are most of the time when we're drinking. I fact, even the one hour or so isn't all that great because you get to a point where all you're thinking of is the next drink. Yuk!

Nottonight, what you said makes sense. And it's funny, I don't consider it being strong when I watch my fiancee drink himself into a stupor. If anyone else is going through this, think of it as a front-and-center demonstration of what you look like, smell like, act like and feel like when you're drinking. While I'm making lovely aromatic dark coffee in the French press in the morning, he comes schlepping in and guzzles a beer. As for his trying to tempt me with a drink, maybe I have a stubborn streak? It strengthens my resolve all the more.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

WOOT to you Lil on your 7 AF days, yay!!!
Use that stubborn streak to your advantage girl. Mine is known around here as 'Lavan-ittude'

Hello & welcome Lolling!
Glad you found us & dropped in to say hello. Please stick around for support.

Matt, you see the chicken in my avatar? He name is STELLA & she has 23 matching sisters. Together they are known as THE STELLA. I can put them on a bus or a train & have them at your place in no time if you dare to step out of line!!!! They're a crazy bunch, you don't want to deal with them, Lol. Get yourself some rest!

Cowboy, just keep doing what you're doing - it's working

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest - hang on!!!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Way to go, Lil! TMI alert - sensitive viewers, move on to the next paragraph...One thing about that "other thing"... if you can get your bf to stay sober and not eat pizza, it might take a tad longer to get in the mood, but I am here to testify about sober sex. Wow. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Matt - I DO live relatively close to Texas and don't mind being Ava's henchman. I can meet The Stella at the station and make our way to you to knock you into Tuesday. But really, I think what you are experiencing is quite normal. For about four weeks before my one year anniversary I was full of alcohol thoughts, dreams, what ifs, I coulds... I just focused on one day at a time, read and posted here as much as possible, and reached out in real life as well. I also said no to several social situations that were making me anxious. I am sure NoSugar has a well-tested scientific reason for this happening, but the point is that it ends. No question in MY mind, you won't drink because you DON'T DRINK. 'Nuff said.

Cowboy - That is what happened to me, too. I never really tried to quit forever, but I tried in a thousand ways to moderate, cut back, control. When I finally gave in, all I felt was FREEDOM. It hasn't all been rainbows and unicorns, and it hasn't always been easy, but knowing in my heart that I was absolutely done with drinking has helped me make it through those tough times.

G, I'll take some of that velcro. I love hanging here in the nest, and I love being sober. Keep on keeping on, nest.

Pav

[daisy45]

Just had one of those moments where you look at yourself and know you are talking absolute crap! I have a couple of events coming up and have caught myself negotiating a quit date, after the events.
Then I went to the toolbox....what am I doing? The only time is now! Then I will be able to go out, feel good and get home shame-free! Once alcohol is back in the system, the thought processes go right back.
Today I am coming to the toolbox hourly....I don't intend to give up any more of my time to this poison!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Thursday to all

I'm planning to meet my daughter & granddaughter today for some girl time, nice!

Daisy, keep the Tool box open, keep reading & mostly accept that AL no longer has any place in your life. YOU need to be in control of your life, not some stupid poison. You can do this!

Wishing everyone a great AF Day! Pav, thanks for helping me out with the STELLA project if needed - Matt will be surprised to say the least, ha ha!!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Howdy nesters, just me again, wow, seems like I'm spending more time in the Nest than usual, but today is for a special reason and special person! She left her perch in the Nest a while back, but with some prompting from a few of us, she has returned to share her story, wisdom, and support for all of us. I know she won't say anything, but I want to say

LavenderBlue on your 7 month milestone today!

[LilBit]

Morning, all.

Pavati, will have to try that. Sounds intriguing and a darn site better than being told the next morning, "You were a lot of fun" and only vaguely (or not at all) remembering it. Yikes!

Daisy, great perspective. Some physicists would say that time doesn't actually exist, therefore all times are now. That means you're either in a state of "quittedness" or you're not. Deep stuff. I must have made my coffee too strong this morning.

LavenderBlue, just wow! 7 months. You're a inspiration. Thank you for perching here on a twig with us, and thanks to all the other "old timers" who do the same. That includes you, Cowboy!

I'm going to have nightmares about The STELLA. [Wipes brow.] 'Keeping on the straight and narrow, here.

Have a lovely day, Nesters!

[Byrdlady]

LilBit, your avatar just cracks me up, I love it. And then we have all the talk of Lav's chickens!
Matt, I was nearly pecked to death by Stella and her mob of angry chicks...my butt grabbed the Velcro from Guitarista and strapped in! That was over 4 years ago and I've been scared straight ever since! There is nothing worse than a bunch of mad hens!

Where is Kensho?

LavB, Congratulations on 7 big months!!! Wow, in our world that is the jackpot!!
:lucky:
We are so glad you are back here in the nest sharing best practices! GREAT job!!!
Hope everyone has an easy day today!!! MindPeace, B