Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Welcome back Molly - where have you been?? Don't be a stranger......

I think we all need to remember that it's going to take some time after we quit drinking to really, really feel better! We all heal at our own pace, things do not just happen overnight, right?
Baby steps......first you stop drinking then you begin to adopt healthier habits & new ways of thinking! I continue to work on my positive thinking skills by ridding myself of negativity, esp. resentment - a big one for me. I'm trying to introduce Gratitude into my life & thinking. I am grateful to be living a sober life now, one day at a time
Be kind to yourselves, give yourselves time to heal, learn new ways of thinking!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the Nest - night light is always on.
Lav

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone.

It's been pretty busy around here with the holiday and gearing up for golf season here. I got rained on yesterday afternoon when I tried to sneak out after the holiday fun.

RW - I don't even know what a Roy Rogers is...? I only drink Arnold Palmers. Ha! Actually I also like San Pellegrino with a twist - or/and a splash of cran. Or just H2o. About the dates - I have to say how nice it is to be able to relate to someone without the effects of al and everything about it.

I'm gonna have to get caught up on my reading here and the news - kittens? Wow.

Take care everyone!
tw

[4MyHealth]

Newbies Nest

"One of the main reasons I drank was to give me the tools and courage to actually talk to people. I was always taught if I didnt have anything good to say, dont say anything. Which cuts out alot of conversation! So I dont really think I "learnt" the art of making a coversation with people. Like dancingon said, people think I am self-sufficent or aloof, because I often stand around by myself (at parties). People think I dont need to talk to others but it is because I dont know how. That is why I would always have a (few) "getting ready drinks" - mascara in one hand and wine in the other! It would relax me enough to throw out the rules I had learnt and just to talk to people. But in the end it meant that I was usually drunk before I got to the party."

Don't know how to quote the way everyone else does...so it shows up in quotes. Your remark hit me because my dad always said "if you don't have something intelligent to say, don't say anything at all!" While I agree that blabbering on about nothing is irritating, telling a child they must have something "intelligent to say" is a bit daunting. So I had this naturally shy nature, plus this quote to live by; plus the example of my father and his drinking/liberation...and here I am today. Please don't let this become my kids future!! Can it stop now? I hope.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

I really find it interesting that so many of us here are so shy/quiet/insecure/keep to ourselves/etc. That is exactly the way I am. I have only had a few close friends in my life. All of you sound like such wonderful people that I am so surprised to find out that you are like me. Thank you for sharing that. :l:l It helps to know that we have each other to lean on as we go thru this journey together. Thank you all for being here with me.
BIG HUGS TO EACH & EVERY ONE OF YOU!!! Today has not been the easiest day for me. But, I have been here reading and it has helped. So, thank you all.

(Anyway, I can't drink.......my kitty might need me )

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone,
100% the good people here saved me from 'The Demon' in the last few days, Thank you thank you and thank you again!!!
Mornin HippyChick, your PM lifted me off the floor, glad to hear you are doing well, I also was the one with the 'mascara in one hand and the wine in the other', I am hopeless at the social chit chat, yet when I had a few 'jars' I actually did loosen up and until the moment of collapse even hubbie would say I would become the life and soul of the party!
Fennel, you still sound 'pissed off', head up shoulders back mate!- your thread yesterday brought me back here and I am eternally grateful, if its ANY consolation, if I could get through the LONGING of the last few days AF, anyone can, be brave and kind to yourself, look at what you have and have done rather than what is wrong - if you're still in the mood I was yesterday that's a load of b&*(^&%$s ! but thinking of you.
Katie, I identified with everything you said, loneliness is hard and even in the middle of heaps of people a person can be lonely. My sober social skills also are not good, and like you I think lots of people don't get my sense of humour - I find myself always on the edges of the 'in group' and I so want to be in the middle but if I was there what would I say??
Beanzy - keep it up, it does come together about 7 days I found and things begin to seem quite joyful - just lay low and be kind to yourself till the good times kick in!!
Morning Nora, good luck with the cat, I know even less about animals than I know how my boozebrain works but I'm thinkin of you! I think I remember you married 32 years? Same as me! - As they say you get less time for Murder he he!!
Going to work will be back thanks to everyone here later on, have a LOVELY day
Molly:thanks:

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Morning Lav, Tranq, 4myhealth and everyone else here, sorry if I missed anyone
BYE BYE
Molly

[tantangra]

Newbies Nest

day 2

I am past beer-o'clock on my second day AF.
I've done this many times before so I know what to expect, headaches tomorrow, depression the day after, a feeling of getting a handle on things on day 5 and then the thoughts that maybe I'm not REALLY an alcoholic, not if I can give up just like that. Then the cravings start and I try to have a couple of drinks. I just can't do that and maybe by telling you all that I can't ever stop at two, or three or four until the bottle is empty and there's not another one in the fridge or the cupboard or over in the shed where I hide it from myself. Maybe by telling you this truth then I will actually realise it is the truth. I am an alcoholic and I can't stop at one drink.
Good wishes to all of you especially those fighting through the first few days, I'm with you.

Tantangra

[spuddleduck]

Newbies Nest

tantangra, well done on passing the beer hour. i think so many of us are the same... cant stop at one. i know for a fact that for me, 1 leads to 2 which leads to a bottle which leads to anything i can get my hands on. the fact you acknowledge this is the first step. wishing you strength on this journey.
i started a thread a while back about talking sober and got some great replies. i am trying to learn to talk sober. i always used al as a crutch and i think when we get so used to this it is very difficult to be without. i would be a chat a holic after drinking, until the point i was incoherent, then i didnt stop but no one could understand a word i was saying. i have avoided social situations so far and when i do try i am just gonna have to get used to not being the life and soul. one of my best friends rarely drinks and never to excess and she always copes so well. i must try and learn from her, it can be done. i also think part of the prob is that people are used to us being the way we are drinking and to see the real shy/quiet person is strange, but i do think its something that will come with time.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Evening everyone.
Kicked my husband off the laptop so I can get my evening fix.
Katie - I wish Perth and Sydney were closer. We could go and have a coffee together but unfortunately 5000kms is a little too far to go.... We used to have what we called an "orphans party" at Christmas. I lived in a mining town and each year all the people who didnt have families to go to would get together and celebrate Christmas together. It was such a lovely thing to do as I got to know some people that I wouldnt normally associate with.
I live in a community now that is still small enough for people to know each other. Yet I still feel alone most of the time.
4myhealth - your father certainly sounds like mine. I too hope that I have quit drinking in time for my two to forget. Although I was drunk and in blackout alot of the time around them, I wasnt a fall-down drunk. I know my son could tell sometimes, as I remember his face in moments of clarity during a black out. But my daughter informed her friend recently that "her mum has never got drunk"! So I hope with all my heart she never finds out her mum is a lush!
Molly - glad you are back and I am so pleased I helped a bit for you. Wow, I cant imagine what being married for 32 years would be like. My first marriage ended after five years because my ex thought it was OK to sleep around. His excuse was that I had gotten boring since I gave up drinking (to have his children!). And I am only coming up to five years with my second (and best) husband.
Tantangra - I know that pattern of thinking I am not really an alcoholic. Even now I find myself thinking that. But I have proved to myself time and again that I cant stop at one either. So moderation is out for me! Keep going, you are doing well.
Nora - I hope your kitty is doing OK. Poor little thing.
I hope everyone who is struggling tonight knows you are not alone.
Stay strong.
HC

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday morning all!

Will have to delay my outdoor duites for a bit as we're having some April showers atthe moment! I imagine this rain cam from your neighborhood Tranq!!


4MyHealth - hope you are well this morning!
I'll bet a lot of us have a history of arriving at the part 'pre-medicated'. I don't remember exactly when or why I started doing that......I didn't always. Anyway, that's over with now. I can go out without fortification now & everything is fine. Hang in there, you'll get more comfortable too

Nora, I have no experience with cats but I can tell you what happens when your Golden retriever delivers 12 pups! YIKES!!!!

Molly, Spud, hope you are having a good day!

Tantangra, congrats on getting your first 2 days under your belt! Keep em coming! Don't listen to the 'junkie talk' in your head! It's not OK to try to have just one or two drinks..............it just doesn't work with us! You have lots & lots of company here

HC, this journey becomes a lot easier when we just accept the fact that drinking is not an option - doesn't it???

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday!
Lav

[Panno]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon everyone - well what a busy weekend for everyone. I had a good easter break but let my guard down and drank Friday and Sunday with the festive meals :l
And as usual not the nice couple of glasses normal people would have!!! Anyway back to day 2 and to be honest will be glad when I am saying day 22 - just getting a little fed up now of having to start over again all the bloody time, my next plan is to make sure I spend more time on here and actually put in practice all the good advice that is given :h

Nora - both my 12 month old kittens gave birth to kittens, they only had 2 a piece thank god and they did great, but I felt so sorry for them being so young and had I not been hungover all the time I would have looked after them properly - but I just kept telling myself if they lived in the wild that would be normal. :l

Have a great day everyone.

P x

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Good plan Panno. Come here often. We are all in the same boat. Good luck.
Yes Lav, the journey is alot easier when I realised that I just cant even have one. I dont like that fact, I really hate it actually. But I have accepted it....
Take care.
x

[fennel]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, nesters! Let me shake off my umbrella and set it somewhere to dry off...we're having t-storms here, but things were getting a bit parched, so they are welcome! Hi Molly, Hippy chick, 4my, spuddleduck, panno, lavande and tatangra! Nora, I hope all is o.k. on the kitty front.

I'm doing way better today than yesterday, thanks to all the folks here. :thanks:

[fennel]

Newbies Nest

Panno;833838 wrote: Good afternoon everyone - well what a busy weekend for everyone. I had a good easter break but let my guard down and drank Friday and Sunday with the festive meals :l
And as usual not the nice couple of glasses normal people would have!!! Anyway back to day 2 and to be honest will be glad when I am saying day 22 - just getting a little fed up now of having to start over again all the bloody time, my next plan is to make sure I spend more time on here and actually put in practice all the good advice that is given :h

Nora - both my 12 month old kittens gave birth to kittens, they only had 2 a piece thank god and they did great, but I felt so sorry for them being so young and had I not been hungover all the time I would have looked after them properly - but I just kept telling myself if they lived in the wild that would be normal. :l

Have a great day everyone.

P x

Hang in there, Panno. :l

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

I am at work and can't talk long, but i had some beers last night, got tipsy, hubs made me mad, and boy did I rip into him...got alot of my chest, but was very ugly about it......feel bad this morning and more determined than ever to go AF for awhile depsite stress and all the other junk I blame it on...I hurt hubs abd I feel terrible....but this stuff did need to be said....
oh by the way....good morning everyone....
ok back to work