Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Madon, I had the same issue yesterday for awhile.

It's good to see you steadfast!

Well, last night was a night I wouldn't want to have gone any other way. I was there, fully present for my broken-hearted 19 year old boy. Throughout the night, we watched a movie, stopped the movie, talked, he cried, we hugged, and did that all night. I'm so grateful this happened while he was home on break and I could be there for him and not when he started his new semester and away from home. And the grateful feeling I have for being there for him, talking to him, giving him some wise words soberly is a huge gift, one I will keep close to my heart when I'm ever feeling like I'm missing out on something that causes me nothing but grief.

Have a good day.

[Roobs]

Good morning nesters,
J-Vo , even though this is a hard time for your son the memories you are making are priceless. I'm so glad you are present and available for him. He sounds like a tender heart.

Jane, I can't imagine the pain emotionally and physically that you are dealing with. I can't image what that family must be going through. I hate the fact that you have to jump through insurance or legal issues. I hate that you have to be an expert and your own advocate in everything you do legally....at least here in the USA. I wish the best for you and your recovery. You're right, we must live in the moment and don't take anything for granted. I think I will spend some time on this very thought today. Thank you.

Yesterday my dad died. It wasn't completely unexpected, he was 85 and his health was declining this past year. He lives in another country, my brother was able to visit with him last week and I am grateful for that. His death brings up a lot of different emotions and some sadness that is not always for the right reasons. It's complicated. Life.
I'm not a real "higher power" person but yesterday I had a real weird and crushing fatigue come on, I was able to lay down and nap for a few minutes. It turns out it was right around the time he passed. Hmmm? Anyway, we will have our own memorial here for him when we receive some of his ashes.
I can't wait for Xmas to be over. Im feeling like my kids aren't close enough to each other and we don't have any real traditions. Woes me. Okay, now I'm rambling down a pity path. I will live in the moment and hug my kids today and everyday. I will be kind to myself and others. Thanks for the reminder jane.

[wagmor]

Oh Roobs, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. No matter the circumstances, losses like this are never easy. Sending you gentle hugs and strength :hug: :heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

Roobs,sorry for your loss and I'm with you on just wanting Christmas over,hello to all and back later

[wagmor]

Jane - Really glad to see you here. I remember you from my quit in 2014, and am so happy to see you have maintained yours. Looking forward to celebrating 3 years with you in January. Very sorry to hear about your car accident though. I come from a place of true understanding and empathy around this, and I'm sending you tons of support. An experience like this can really open our eyes to gratitude and appreciation for each day. The rehab of physical and emotional injuries can both wear down and build up our resilience. Big hugs as you continue to persevere through this. I hope 2017 brings you lots of healing on all fronts. :hug:

J-vo - Your poor boy sounds heartbroken! I am so grateful for you and for him that you have found strength in your quit and that you are so fully present for him. Yes, you will likely remember this for the rest of your life, and I'm guessing that he will too. Sending you strength as well. :heartbeat:

[jane27]

Gosh Roobs, haven't been on the boards in months so not current on the goings on. Really sorry to hear about you father passing. I haven't lost a parent yet but just thinking about it gives me a pit in my stomach. You'll have grief to contend with now. Its different for everyone- when it comes and goes, coping one minute and being awash the next. I know its an expression we hear a lot, but "the only way out is through" is one of the hard parts about sobriety that doesn't offer immediate dividends, but at the end of the day, the healthiest way to adjust to losing a loved one. Its so hurtful that people (and animals) we love have to die. One of the things that helps me when I'm reflecting about loss is to ask myself would I rather have never known the joy of knowing them? Ofcourse not- the pain of the loss is worth the gift of what once was and with time happy memories are a joy to revisit. hang in there, and look to your fellow Nestmates for support when you need it. :heartbeat:

[Nursie]

STEADY!! Hey there!

Roobs, I am so sorry about your Dad. My heart hurts for you.

I wasn't able to get on either. Idk what happened.

We always have the back up site I made (just for emergencies when we can't get on here). We used it a couple years ago? Feel free to register and save it in your favorites for times when MWO is down. Login Required | Forum

Hubby had work Christmas party yesterday and I smelled alcohol on his breath. He wasn't drunk but it makes me think about it. I'm happy I'm not drinking but sometimes I wish I could get drunk without consequences. But I'm always glad when I wake up sober and I never regret not drinking!

[available]

Morning nesters

Christmas eve here and like a lot of you i will be glad when it is over. The positive is i get to spend some quality time with the children and that outweighs the madness of xmas.

Jane lovely to see you again, i do hope 2017 is a great year for you.

Roobs sorry to hear about your dad. I have a complicated family also and i always said i was standing behind a door when parents were handed out but it is what it is and we can only try to be the best parents to our children. I know i have a totally different and good relationship with my lot. Not too many expectations, not much judgement but lots of love and support is all i can give.

Steady so lovely to see another Aussie pop in. I hope your year has gotten better and you enjoy xmas as much as possible in the heatwave we are expecting. Spa and air con for us tomorrow.

J that is such a great feeling to be there for your boy. I know now if i have to drive an hour to see my eldest that i can just do it, if she ever needs me at anytime, i can do it. I cant dwell on what i didnt do in the past but they so appreciate us being fully there.

Well today i am going to potter. Thunder and rain at the moment but a hot day here, the rain will make it more humid, yeah! I did manage to get my eyebrows threaded and tinted yesterday and now i am just a "brow". i wonder how long the dye takes to settle down. gives my son a fit of hysterical laughter which is a positive on looking like a cartoon character!

Take care xx

[j-vo]

The eyebrow threading is very popular! Never tried it, but my 80's eyebrows, tweezed to almost nothing may have something to do with that!

Roobs, I'm very sorry for the loss of your Father. It's so sad, the feeling, the loss, the pain. You'll be on my prayer list tonight. Hugs to you.

Dad got into town last night and is staying at sis's house. I think his blood pressure has been stable and he's getting exercise in and a bit of golf, so I'm so pleased with his progress. It's gonna be a tough xmas, though. Really tough.

Son got out a bit today and went to the outlets by himself. I'm glad he got out at least and didn't lay here crying over 'her' all day. A few times he texted me saying he thought he was going to break down while he was shopping and I told him that was ok, just go to the car and do it!

As we left work, some people were going for a "drink." That "we're going for a drink" sounds so innocent, doesn't it? We never went for a drink, though, we went for a drunk, always.

Ok, gonna finish this movie with son and give him more hugs, then Church at 7:30. This is really helping me so much.

Talk tomorrow.

[Guitarista]

Hiya nesters,

Oh Roobs. I'm sorry to hear that sad news. I always feel it's the end of an amazing era and often a certain character we lose when our older generations pass away. Take care of yourself and keep going with your incredible AF time.

Hi Ava! Yo Steady! Wishing youse a beautiful chrissy.

Just read a beaut post by Briseus that ABC bumped on approaching her 1 year mark a few months ago. Warm, relevant and motivational stuff.

But far more importantly, i've just done the laundry expecting a hot sunny day to dry everything and what do i git? Thunder and rain! Should warm up later. Hope i don't have to wash it all again. Sheesh, some folks do this laundry caper every single day......:huh: :congratulatory:

Hang in there through xmas Nursie. You know you're worth it!

beautiful post Jvo. that's what it's all about.

Looking forward to celebrating 3 yrs with you Jane in January.

Byrdie, how are you doing there?

My thoughts are with you all at this tricky and often emotionally charged time of year. I believe we can manage any thoughts that make us feel uncomfortable or throw us emotionally. I am going to try to sit with such thoughts when they come along, look at them, and then let them be and let them do what they want to do, and let them go of there own accord like they always do.

It's day 133 here. I am stoked. I am thinking more and more as i go, that i will keep going with this quit and see where i end up. Maybe the stars? There are no limits. Doesn't matter if you're 17 or 70. Go for it.

Ok, off to find some buried treasure. Yo fruity!

xpost hi Jvo. Tell you what. get through this xmas and you can get through anything. For me, the only way out is through. Hope your dad and your son are doing ok. I bet they're rapt to have you around.

[scottish lass]

Hi all - last grocery shop done before getting the turkey in oven, forgot the ice for the brine! It is wet and gloomy today after cold, bright days.

Roob - so sorry - this is coming to me soon, and I am also a long way from home. My Dad has good days and bad, but getting more bad than good. the NHS moves slowly and we are not sure what is causing his failure, apart from old age. My mother is struggling to look after him, and I feel guilty about being so far away. I hope you are coping with this loss - will you be going home? Not the best time of year to be travelling - sending lots of hugs your way.

j-vo, young love angst - so glad he was home with you when this happened and he can be more intact when he returns to college.

G - I am stoked for you too - maybe it is some of us procrastinators time too? There are a good group of us here, maybe 2017 will be the year that it stick? I am on for that!

Happy Christmas eve, eve all - stay strong, stay well!

[abcowboy]

Sorry to hear of your Dad's passing Roobs, losing loved ones is tough, no matter the distance or the time of year. But to lose them around Christmas makes it a tougher pill to swallow, I know, I lost my older brother on Nov 29, my mom on Dec 1, and my dad Jan 2. Thank God there was a few years separating them. But I look back on their passing and remember all the great Christmas's we shared together, and that they aren't really gone as they'll live in my heart and memories till I see them again...

[Byrdlady]

Wow, GREAT posts. This nest is just an amazing place.
Jane, Im so happy to see you! I just hate that such a tragic and random thing happened to you. A long recovery for you and Im sorry for that. I hope you feel better every single day. Stick around, we have missed you! How is your doggie??!
Roobs, Im so sorry to hear about your dad. I thought that if it happened when I was older (and HE was older) it wouldnt hurt so bad. I was wrong. It was a terrible blow and I miss hom something awful. My heart goes out to you.

It was a busy day today, my last working day til Jan 3! Wooohoo! Im baking some cookies!

So good to see everyone working his/her PLAN! Its not always east, but it is always worth it! Sray strong! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Tired...ready for bed at 5:44 pm went for a walk in the nice cloudy morning, then hit the 99 cent store(spent $58!)then Walmart, then went to lunch with the girls and Louie,came home and did laundry and starred baking banana bread, chocolate chunk cookies and puffy sugar cookies,two different batches cuz I didn't wanna use vanilla extract in the ones I'll eat cuz I'm overly paranoid, frosted them all,then wrapped a few more presents and the house still needs to be cleaned!!grrrr,oh well I stayed busy a bit too busy haha,everyone sounds great

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

So sorry for your loss, Roobs. Must be hard, no matter how complicated. I recommend the book "Being Mortal" for anyone who has older parents, friends, spouses, relatives, whatever. It is very enlightening, especially talking about how we medicalize aging.

Steady! Great to see you pop in. Hope all is well. Are you in touch with Little Beagle?? I miss her.

J-Vo - What a gift that you could be there for your son. Bottle that feeling and remember it the next time you're tempted to drink.

I was thinking tomorrow was the 23rd and was all set to wake early to go to the grocery store - and NOW I have to do it tomorrow and it's Christmas Eve. Also, I ordered the wrong thing from Amazon for DH, and I THOUGHT I had ordered something for someone but when I checked all my boxes and then my account I realized I never clicked "buy." Well, I had good intentions, anyway.

I am looking forward to good food with my family over the next two days. I do actually like them, as difficult as they can be. Lots of laughs in store, plus a new significant other in the mix to bring some freshness. I AM, however, also looking forward to it all being over so I can relax and enjoy my wee vacation.

I did come across this sad article today about the Children of the Opioid Crisis. So devastating what those drugs are doing across the country. Reminds me to stay vigilant. Those poor kids.

Night nest. Take good care of yourselves, and don't drink, no matter what!

Pav