evening nesters
Kiwi your post is the reason why I can never have that one drink and gives me determination to keep sober. To me you sound as if you are scared you will let yourself down again so you go back to drinking or just keep drinking. The fear of failure is an awful feeling but you need to bite the bullet and take it one day at a time. We are so hard on ourselves us alcoholics, our own worst enemy really. How did you do your 2 weeks af? i know you posted on here regularly and seemed happy with your achievements. Having support is a must in getting sober. We need to keep all those thoughts out of our brains as much as possible and sharing them helps and doesnt make things seem so bad. The nest is a wonderful place to share the good, the bad and the ugly. You havent failed Kiwi you have a case of the guilt, shame and remorses (GSR) for what you want and what you havent done. All we can do is take it each day, minute and hour at a time. You have reached out on MWO for help and that is a great start, tomorrow you plan to post on here which is fantastic, the little changes to your life make the world of difference to our thoughts. Perseverance and determination is what we need, you just cant drink, end of story! I am giving up smoking and thats my motto. At the moment i am 30% happier than what i was 3 weeks ago and that is a positive. i know everyone tells me how much better i will feel, how much money i will save but i dont care. i liked smoking, i loved drinking but there comes a time when we have to put our big boy pants on and do it. We can give every excuse under the sun but at the end of the day its up to us to put in the 110% work needed to stop or we can keep doing what we are doing. Dont think of never just think of this week, be gentle on yourself and stop beating yourself up. Make little plans to do things, we dont need to run a marathon or climb a mountain when we first stop drinking, we need to give ourselves some self care. Fill the fridge up with food, subscribe to netflix and just take it easy. That is what i have done for 3 weeks, its scary out in that world for me atm, too much temptation to buy those cancer sticks!. i go to work, come home and stay here. if i have to go out and feel like i will buy smokes then i just dont go out. i wont starve to death if i dont and i have relapsed so many times with this venture also. Im being kind to myself just as you should be to yourself.
See you tomorrow.
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