Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, Im so sorry to hear about your friend. That is so sad. Our thoughts are with you.
NS, I had those night sweats, too, and thought they were menopause. Funny, they stopped when I quit drinking. Go figure. Drinking is such a stress on our bodies. I just saw a news story about a little girl battling cancer and it made me sad to think that I so carelessly regarded my life and health. I sure appreciate it now!

Kensho, I agree about the ripple effect. When we are better adjusted, it helps everyone around us. I must admit, drinking sometimes made me irrational and overly emotional, so how was my hubs supposed to react to all that? Being more balanced goes a long way.

Goad tomorrow is Friday!
Hugs to my wonderful friends here! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It's a pleasant 42 degrees right now & we have frost warnings up for tonight! First of the season!!!
Brought all the plants inside yesterday & just remembered my parsley was in a pot this year so I just yanked that out of the herb garden & brought it inside as well.

LC, very sorry to hear about your grandpa, it's sad. We are near to losing a former neighbor who was also so good with the kids when they were growing up
I hope the headache has moved on & you can rest.

I must be the only person on the planet who can stop drinking, stop smoking, go completely thru menopause (years ago) & still have hot flashes during the day & waking me up at night. No one can give me a reason, apparently I defy all odds, ha ha! Everything has been checked & rechecked on me repeatedly. Guess I'm just weird, LOL

Hello tp Pav, Kensho, Ava, G, Wags, NS, Slo & anyone I've missed.
Let's all have a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. So sorry for your loss LC. Hope everyone is doing well. I’m headed for a mini weekend vacation. I’m sure there will be lots of beer flowing. The good news is I am not planning on drinking and I hate beer. So two positives for me. Hope everyone has a great friday. Today is the 30th year anniversary of me quitting smoking. Pretty awesome milestone for a 2 pack a day smoker. Hope everyone has a great day!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Happy Friday! Yahoo!

Lav, my friend's mom still has hot flashes a 75. The doctors call her a "super flasher," a small percentage of the population... I love how the body just does what it is going to do sometimes.

Rava - glad you're feeling strong going in to that weekend. Take plenty of your favorite drink so you can feel special, too, and eat, eat, eat! Post here if you need us.

I am feeling better this week. Still not perfect, but I am not in that deep funk, thank goodness. That's the thing with moods, cravings, etc. They go away. Having that knowledge is very helpful when I'm in the middle of it. I've been there before, I know it is going away.

Cruising into the weekend like :sohappy:

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rava - you've got this! Enjoy your weekend mini vacation to the fullest and come out on the other side with your quit intact

NS & Byrdie - OMG, I had the same night sweats in the latter days (months) of my drinking and I tried to blame them on menopause too, knowing full well that they were al-induced. The lies we would tell ourselves and others! Soooooooooo glad to be out of that now. Of course now I'm truly in the at least early stages of menopause and I'm hoping the legit sweats don't occur


Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest today. Have a great Friday-into-the-weekend!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rava, congratulations on 30 YEARS off of cigarettes! What a milestone! And I hope you are one of the ones who enjoys no cravings for it anymore.

Pav, I’m glad that your deep funk is lifting, and that you’ve had the strength & fortitude to outlast it.

My baby brother drove drunk last night and crashed his truck, got a OWI/DUI. It’s his first offense.
He is just so very sad & completely devastated since his beautiful, vivacious young wife died of breast cancer two years ago, and just can’t get over the grief & loss.
Add to that the crushing fatigue of trying to raise 3 kids alone and maintain the large house & yard while working long hours full-time at a job with a commute.
He was drinking more to cope with the stress of his wife’s terminal diagnosis and 6 years of grueling treatments, while raising tiny kids.
I have suspected for awhile now that he has “crossed the line” into becoming one of us. Sadly, this confirms it.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

So sorry to hear that Slo. Man, what a load to carry and live with! I hope he can find a way to make it all work. Take care of yourself.

Congratulations Rava. Have a nice weekend.

Good stuff Pav!

How are u LC?

Big waves to y'all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, that is just awful, we dont know how lucky we are to have the blessings that we do. I just hate to hear about his troubles. That could be any of us.
TFIF! That admin gor me again today with an order I turned in, I swear, she is incredible. I dont say this about many people, but I despise that woman.
It’s only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Chilly day but sunny so no complaints from me

Slo, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, poor guy. None of us plan to step over that line but some of us do. Trying to drink away emotional pain is fairly common (been there). I hope he can get some appropriate help, he needs to be well for his family :hug:

Rava,a Congrats on your very long smoke quit, nice. I'm holding on to my quits with everything I have too. Enjoy your AF weekend.

Pav, glad you are feeling better, moods do come & they go.
A frined was telling me yesterday that her 80+ year old mom is still having hot flashes. It's just ridiculous & very disruptive

Hello to Wags, G, & everyone.
Byrdie, use your pin cushion & make sure you really give it a stab, ha ha!!!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo - that is such a sad story. Maybe the silver lining will be that he asks for and receives help. I can't imagine how difficult that would be to overcome the grief AND try to keep the family together. It is wonderful that you can be there as an example and support for him.

I'm trying to keep a lighter mood heading into the season of darkness and holidays! I feel like from here on out we're expected to eat, drink and be merry, and sometimes I just want to stay home and do a puzzle and drink tea. Thankfully, not drinking has given me perspective and I feel perfectly ok saying no to some of the festivities.

Here's a great read about 10 years sober. Ann Dowset Johnston Reflects on a Decade of Sobriety. I found it through a friend who got it from Hip Sobriety. Here's what Holly had to say: "...one day, alcohol stops becoming the solution; then one day, it stops becoming a thing you miss; then one day, you notice you stopped noticing it all together. This happens. I promise. It does."

That was hard for me to believe when I first started here. I heard others say that, but I really had to suspend my disbelief and follow those in front of me - trusting that all these fine people wouldn't be here lying to me. Check my ego (my effort to control), accept, and listen. That worked for me.

Happy Sober Saturday. Hang on, nesters. You got this.

Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

LC hugs to you on the loss of your pa, i hope you and the girls are okay. As Pav said we know you dont drink now! Alcohol doesnt bring people back, i certainly drank to try and bring a few loved ones back.

Rava, i hope your mini vacation was relaxing and fun without al, of course. I am going away next weekend and cant wait albeit a cocktail party that i am not going to! Congratulations on your 30 years fag free.

Byrd, NS and wags, i never thought to blame my sweats on menopause for some reason but i certainly didnt blame it on al until the end of my drinking career. Now i am going through early menopause and am on HRT to stop those flushes and me wanting to randomly kill people.

Slo, i am so sorry to hear about your brother and maybe this is his rock bottom. he is lucky to have a sister that can show him the way. He has had a terrible time being the strong one for so long and trying to keep the family together. Does he ask for help? So very sad.

Pav, loved that quote as i never ever thought i would make it to 30 days in the beginning and now we are coming up to 5 years. Those early days was just putting one foot in front of the other, realising that what the oldies said was not bullsh$t but would happen, to not listen to that al voice when it came with a vengeance at the witching hour and to come on here like a lunatic. Leaving my ego at the door was a biggie and being completely honest about how much i drank, as these nesters had heard it all before, not much was going to suprise them and to learn to be grateful and appreciate anything each day even though i hated the world and felt deprived. Now ..........life without al is good, its pleasant, my life feels even each day, i dont miss al and its a vague memory my past life. I dont want to forget what i was as it makes me realise of where i never want to be again.

I have had a busy week with mum, worked for two days and spent the rest of the week looking after her. she has to keep off her foot so ive made sure she has been on her butt all week. I am worried the graft wont heal as quick on her foot due to her age so im doing my best. its been really good actually and i know its been good for both of us to be together. I need to go to work tomorrow but Tuesday she has her specialist apt which i will take her to and hopefully Wednesday i can drive her home. I had to take Maddison to the vets on friday as she has been unwell on and off and her tummy has a mass in it. they diagnosed liver cancer a year ago but looks like its a lymphoma. The vet was lovely and who was Rupeys vet before she died so we worked out a plan on keeping Mads happy and out of pain. No invasive testing or scans, i dont want that, shes 15 now so now she gets to live the rest of her days being spoilt rotten and loved. I was devastated but knew the cancer was there and becoming active.

Im grateful that i have been here for mum and i am here for Mads and with no thoughts of drinking AT anything.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening, Nesters.
Been a lazy day, just what the doctor ordered. We are going to dinner tonight with some friends, actually the son and daughter in law of my across the street neighbor who passed away about a year and a half ago. He looks so much like her that it makes me sad, in a way. Gosh I miss her. They are drinkers, but normal about it, ha! I will stick to water. I try to watch my fluid intake so I dont pee all night. Funny, I never worried about that when I was guzzling a bottle and a half of wine every night. My, how things change!
I hope everyone is having a peaceful Sattidy. Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, I’m so sorry your brother is under so much stress. I hope he sees this as a Rock Bottom and uses it as a springboard to stop drinking. Does he know you understand and don’t judge him?

Pav, I read the article you linked and that lead me to read the rest of the online magazine. I love it! Thank goodness it is fairly new and there weren’t more articles! As it is, I forgot to put dinner in the oven... That reminds me of all the nice meals I made while drinking wine and then either didn’t eat or forgot about and had to check the leftovers to find out what I’d made. How pathetic! One thing I have had to come to grips with is that while I thought I loved it, I don’t actually like to cook that much. I liked to drink and making a complicated meal gave me a lot of time alone to do just that (obstensibly for the good of the family).

Your paragraph perfectly describes the evolution from a desperate drinker to a content, sober person, Ava. There’s no way to say exactly when the change happens but at some point it is fine to be a nondrinker and it becomes hard to remember what the big fuss was all about.

I think I retained the fluid from wine, Byrdie. I wish I had peed it all out! Biochemically it makes sense but back in those days, I steered clear of learning anything about alcohol or addiction. Talk about denial.

Hope all nesters are having a great AF weekend!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Chilly & partly sunny today - A OK with me

Pav, in another 5 months I will be 10 years AF & I can honestly say the same thing, drinking is not missed. Life is perfectly fine without AL, something I never would have guessed. Now, with the latest research saying there's NO safe level of consumption I feel even better for quitting when I did. We should all be very proud of our accomplishments

Ava, sounds like your mom has done well post operatively. Maybe you are a good nurse as well as a good daughter.
Sorry your pup is not feeling well. Having a plan in place really helps :hug:

Byrdie, I hope you enjoy your dinner out with your neighbor. You deserve a nice evening!

NS, I think all the wine I (we) consumed probably dehydrated us in the long run.
All I have to worry about now is going easy on salt...….my favorite flavor. I cook with minimal amounts of salt & tell anyone else eating to salt to their taste. No one seems to mind much, ha ha! I am also glad to be out of that denial mode - hard habit to break, huh?

Hello to the rest of the crowd & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I hope my brother will use this as a rock bottom. It’s perfect because now he has something on record as evidence that he has a problem, so could maybe get time off to focus on getting sober. If he would’ve had his accident on Friday night after the big baseball game that he was going to then it could’ve been blown off as a time when everyone is drinking, but on a weeknight after attending his kids’ parent-teacher conferences? -not much excuse there and indicates a problem, imo. Our problem.
He could use a break. Ava, he accepts the help that he has to have from the grandparents and the nanny, but resents the lack of privacy and people meddling in his business, so isn’t too interested in extra help.
But who knows, maybe he isn’t “there” yet and ready to tackle this. And he works in an industry where drinking is an important part of the social aspect, so he might not be able to conceive of going without yet.
I will be sure to let him know that I understand and don’t judge him. Feel like now I can -now that his “secret” is sort of out, I can let him know my “secret”.