Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Vlad,
You are sounding Strong Girl!! Keep it up!!!

I did have 1 drink last night as it was Fat Tuesday and thought I'd live it up with one beer. Switched to an O'Douls to really party! LOL.

Hugs to all,
Eve11

[mg72]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

I'm back

Hi L.T. Mods,
I have not written in several weeks and ready to get back in touch. My wife and I spent three weeks in New Zealand and Australia in January and are just starting to feel adapted to normal life back home.
I have come to conclusion that long term mods is where I belong. The only problem is that I think I am about the only man that participates and at times feel like I am on outside looking in.
I believe that moderation is my best life style. When I quit I have more problems than when I keep drinking in control. It is not always easy but I generally stay around 12 drinks a week taking two or three nights AF. I keep track of my drinks in a written log and have for many years. When I do drink I make sure I have plenty of food in me and drink lots of water at same time and never have one before six at night. It has been many years since I have had a hangover but occasionally wake up with sinus headache. It always goes away in first few minutes I am awake.
That is my negative for drinking but the truth is I enjoy the taste of some drinks and like my social interaction with others when we get together. I also enjoy having two or three drinks by myself at home relaxing in from of the TV, reading or just sitting outside.
I say I have come to conclusion that I am long term mod. I finally decided to quit beating myself up about being a consistent drinker. I have family history of AL abuse so I know what I will not become. I have accepted this is me, am determined to make a good ride of it and follow my rules for moderation.
I hope all are doing well and also hope I can fit into the L.T. Mods.

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

DeeBee;806929 wrote:
Anyhoo, it's being aware of these little things instead of pretending they aren't a problem that will help me grow.... right?
?Moderation is the silken string running through the pearl chain of all virtues.?
:l

Welcome to Earth School DeeBee,

I recently discovered Colin Tipping and have been thoroughly enjoying his beliefs.
Discover a powerful method to heal yourself and your relationships

Check this out, hopefully it will play for you and have an open mind and listen to what he has to say. Every experience - good and bad is for our growth.

I have a hard time confronting people and being assertive (I tend to be too passive usually and occasionally get aggressive because I have trouble with assertiveness). So guess what? I keep getting people in my life so that I can fine tune my assertiveness!! LOL

Gotta run - something came up. Will be back soon.
:l
Eve11

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

hi mg72...sorry you feel a little out of place with all us women on here. i really hope you'll stick around. I think that it's nice to have a mixture of men and women and their different viewpoints. makes us "think", ya know?

sounds like you have a good plan. Modding is definitely ok for some people. not everyone who decides that they want to change their drinking habits has to go AF. just because you have given it some thought doesn't automatically mean you are unable to control it. to me it's similar to eating healthy. everything in moderation...that's what they say, right?

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Welcome home MG!! I was wondering how your holiday was and where you had got to. I'm not sure what is up with the males in this group -- maybe they find it easier to mod without the constant daily support?? I'm not sure. I agree with Letgo, I like having you around and value your input so please keep posting as you are a very important part of this group.

Well, I dropped the ball last night!! After very proudly posting two 00's for Monday and Tuesday I drank 3 glasses of wine last night. I'm doubly annoyed with myself because I was ANGRY when I drank which goes against my No 1 rule of checking the HALT acronym. I do also feel I've let the side down -- sorry guys.

Thank you for that link Eve, I do need to be more assertive and also communicate my feelings in such a way that I'm not attacking the person (husband). Oh dear.

Happy Hump Day all!

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

MG,
I didn't get a chance yesterday to say hello as I had to run unexpectedly. :welcome: BACK
and we do appreciate our guys who join and lurk so share your thoughts.

DeeBee,
Hubby and I had a big misunderstanding that resulted in being angry at each other last night and BOY did I Want a drink so I can relate!! The only thing that saved me is there's nothing at home besides unopened wine bottles and we all know what happens to me when I open a bottle so I did remain AF but I can totally understand how one can go there when angry.

I know the HALT too with Anger being the A of the acronym. Well, just hop back on the wagon girlfriend and you'll do better today and tomorrow...

Have a good day modders and lurkers.
:l
Eve11

[mg72]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

L.G.L, Dee Bee and Eve,
Thanks for the welcome back to Long Term Mods. It seemed in the past I would post and no one would reply to me. I felt like there was the in group that communicated with each other and I was not getting connected. For me any relationship, even by email, has to be two way for me to stay in it and for it to be rewarding.

Dee Bee,
I am done beating myself up for having three drinks in one night. The key for me is to keep on my plan of 12 a week, taking two or three nights off and never exceed three drinks at one time. If I break my rules I make sure to get back on them right away. If over the long term I cannot stay within my self imposed limits I need to quit. Unless that happens I now accept that this is me and I can lead a very productive, happy and fulfilled life style. In the past if I exceeded my rules it negatively affected my mood, outlook, relationships, etc. That is way I decided to set my own rules and subsequently follow them.

Have a great day or night wherever you are to all L.T. Mods.

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Ditto MG! I too am done beating myself up about it.
Today is a new day!!

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

mg72;808006 wrote:
Thanks for the welcome back to Long Term Mods. It seemed in the past I would post and no one would reply to me. I felt like there was the in group that communicated with each other and I was not getting connected. For me any relationship, even by email, has to be two way for me to stay in it and for it to be rewarding.

Thanks for your honesty mg72. I know I felt that way too when I first joined in March of 07. What was weird was when I went back and re-read posts, people were there for me but somehow I just wasn't feeling the connection either. Then I returned Sept 08 and I've been here since.

I have shared this story with our oldie members so they'll have to hear it again. I was in a therapy group once and everyone shared the same concern in the group! We all felt like we were on the outside looking in. So, try not to take poor responses personal.
I think it's just us being humans to feel that separation and feel like we don't belong. We had a dear member with OCD get so anxiety ridden because she felt like she had to address every single person everytime she posted (or they'd be upset) and it became too much work for her to come here because of that. So, keep that in mind and don't take it personal!
Welcome back and we're glad to have you here.

Now, speaking of addressing members - hi to the oldies and a few questions to folks that have posted with us this month.

Agapanthus, Are you still trying to mod? You stated you were concerned if you could do it. Give us an update?

Jolie, Mad Mummy and Maia, You all have the common denominator of husbands not knowing you're here. Has that changed for any of you and if so, what was the result? Personally my hubby loves that I come here for support although sometimes he feels like I'm here too much - :H

LettingGo, Sounds like you've been doing well with your modding. How was last night for you?

Charlieboy, What happend to you? Post an update so we know you're ok.

Ask, Things going better with the teenager? I have a very difficult 12 year old that needs
constant direction. Keeps me busy, that's for sure.

Hugs, to all,
:l
Eve11

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

DeeBee,

I forgot to add a response to you regarding what mg72 said.

I think the thing for us to all remember is that amount per week. So, if you had 3 in a night then it leaves you with only 4 for the rest of the week. The NIAAA doesn't like more than 1 in a night but they'll let a woman have up to 3 and still call that moderate drinking if it doesn't exceed 7 for the week.

So, glad you're done beating yourself up sister! DeeBee::b&d: DeeBee

[Maia]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Hi all!

MG74, nice to "meet" you!! I just joint this group this month and I'm nothing but gratefull to be here! I am proud of what I've accomplished this month and I own it to all of you!! I also agree that it's nice to have a guy's point of view, so im glad you are here!!

Eve, my husband still doent know that i visit this site, but he has said that he is proud of me of how well im behaving, so that makes me happy! Yestarday my computer went crazy and I couldnt make it work, my husband always knows how to fix things like this but just the idea that he would see this page (I left it open) really worried me, so I didnt tell him. I guess I should say something to him....I tell him everything else...


DeeBee, im glad you are not beating yourself over those 3 drinks anymore. That's what I love about being here! When we fail you guys just bring the motivation back to keep going!!

I also got into an agreement with my hubby last night!! it was late, so the drink wasnt an option but I KNOW that if it had happened earlier my desire to drink would have been different... So Eve, im glad you handled it well!!!

I bought the supplements you recommended (kutzu and L-glut...) I think I asked this before but im not sure i got an answer (if I did, I appologyze) Am i supposed to take them every day or only when I drink? Is it ok to take both? Any recommendation??

I havent had a drink since Saturday (keeping that AF week with you Sara ) so, I'd like to know how to best use the supplements for next time!

The kids are screaming..... I'll be back soon

[Maia]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

mg72, I would like to be able to have two drinks as I seat alone at home, I dont think I can do that, for sure not yet. So if that works for you and you can stop after the limit you set for yourself and that you are confortable with, then I think that's good. When I watch movie or a tv show I always see characters just having a glass of wine in a the bath, as they watch tv, when the are on the phone, etc. and then it seems they go bak to their normal lives. I've always wanted that and I have never been able to do it. I believe now that I should stop having that as my goal and I should just focus on working on my progress and setting different goals more realistics to me.

Lego, I also have a friend who I would love to be able to immitate (when it comes to AL of course) She enjoys her wine. We are having a nice lunch at my place, going to the beach, just doing anything and she can say that she wants a glass of wine. Sometimes as she is having it I see that she doesnt even finish it! Other times she would have a second one saying "today i really feel like drinking" and then she might start doing something and she completely forgets about her glass of wine!! I would love to be like that! To love it and enjoy it when it's there, but to not care when it is out of my sight, something else comes out, or I've just had enought!!! i hope one day I can be i a similiar place!

Eve, i just open the link you sent. I'll wait for the kids to go to sleep and I'll check it out. Thanks for sharing!!

[letgolaughing]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

well. i did my 3 AF days this week. and i have to say, i'm really proud of myself.
however, i'm so glad it's friday and I have a girls night tonight and will get to drink a couple of glasses of wine!!

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Hey Everyone, and a warm welcome back to Mg72! I agree with the others, that it's great to have both male and female "voices" here! We're all in this together!

I am drained today and will be a bit self-centered as I only have a few minutes and only a little energy and want to share something. Yesterday I really lost it. I've been anticipating my Mom's visit for a week or so, and becoming increasingly anxious about it. The last visit I had with her was at her house, and we'd ended up having a big blow-out heart to heart over her behavior toward my children, and my hurt feelings that she seemed not to like my middle son. It's complicated, but she's very critical, in a kind of subtle way. I always get nervous and defensive around her.

Anyway, I have been gearing up for this visit and did a lot of journal writing and thinking about how much I wanted to be strong and self-assured and not drink while she was here. But yesterday my anxiety became overwhelming. It seems crazy, but I felt almost desperate to relax. Half an hour before she was due to arrive I guess I had a panic attack. I couldn't stop thinking of how much I wanted a drink. I poured a glass of wine thinking I'd "just take the edge off" and then had another, followed by a couple of big shots of bourbon. This was all within a 15 minute period, and needless to say I was smashed. She came in and I could hardly walk and my husband brought me upstairs and said I wasn't feeling well. He took the whole crew out for a hike and I just cried and cried and called Eve (thank you, thank you, thank you) and my sister, and I felt like I'd lost my mind. I don't remember everything but I guess I was sober enough to play a game with the family (although even that memory is blurry) when they got back. We went out for dinner because I couldn't possibly cook.

I am ashamed of myself, but also scared. I don't know if I can ever drink again. My "modding" seemed so controlled and I thought I really had a handle on it. But this was truly out of control. I wouldn't really have believed this could happen; that I could do this now. Perhaps I am weaker (or sicker) than I thought.

Well, Mom's still here and I will of course not drink today or for many days to come. But the ugly thought that "I'm an alcoholic" is terrifying to me, and I don't know what I'll do next. In any case I need to stay here with you all and look to you for help.

More later. Thanks for being here.
Sara

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Sarasmiles;808759 wrote:

I just cried and cried and called Eve (thank you, thank you, thank you)

This songs for you Sara.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wftbahypdAA&feature=related[/video]]YouTube - James Taylor - You've Got a Friend (Beacon Theatre 1998)
:l
Eve11