September Mod Squad

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

Sorry you had a bad night, Stew. I can see how it could be frustrating to be in that situation (of dating someone who is separated). I imagine any number of people in that circumstance might say something they regret, especially with the addition of AL. I guess you should weigh the pros and cons of continuing in that relationship. It also may not be the most helpful modding situation either. I hestitated to say anything, but I know you were looking for some feedback, as are we all...I'm no expert in the relationship department, lol, so you may see me giving but not adhering to my own "words of wisdom".


It's good that you are aware of going over your limits with AL. You seem to be rather diligent and with a commitment to fitness, so I think if/when the situation gets better, you will be more mindful. Take care.:l

[FarfallaP]

September Mod Squad

Hello everyone,

LG, glad you are escaping some of the everyday work stress, and hope it works out for you to go to the Myrtle Beach convention.

Stewarts, the situation which you described sounds pretty confusing to me. I wish you luck in figuring it all out, and I hope there is tranquillity for all concerned, whatever the outcome is.

V, imo you have already accomplished a lot by keeping the hard liquor out of your life, and if you have turned your head towards having an AF day now and then, little by little that will accomplish itself too. For some reason, for me, the (rather corny) hypnosis cds available on this website really helped me a lot...it is my brain which needs to be retrained!

I am halfway back to our other home, to meet new grandson, have discovered another house guest will be arriving Sunday and our cleaning lady has just had rotator cuff surgery and is down for the count. An exciting September awaits! This will require LOTS of herbal tea...

Good luck, guys....FF

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

Hi FF. I wish I had a cleaning lady, lol. I AM the cleaning lady. That's good and bad, as when I don't feel like it, the house goes to hell. Since I've been off work this week, I've been making some progress on cleaning...tired tonight. Seems like once I get started doing things I neglected and saw but didn't want or have the energy to do, the ball starts rolling and it seems almost endless. At least a lot of things I wanted done are done. Fixed the slow leak in my garden tub, washed baseboards, scrubbed bathtub and shower, mowed the front lawn...whew.

[ToMyHealth]

September Mod Squad

Hello everyone. Things are going well in my world. Our Folds of Honor golf tourney was fun. We landed somewhere in the middle, no prizes, etc.

I was on the verge of committing yesterday to being AF. Did not because we had a date night. Movie and dinner. The movie was 2016. It ended and a lady exclaimed "OMG, I need a glass of wine".

We did share a bottle of wine with dinner. Feel great today and will mark it as 3 even though it really is 2.5 as Eve pointed out on another thread asking how much in a bottle. You know even if I drank a half bottle of wine daily, I would be so much better off than none or 1 and then too much. Really don't want to go there, however.

Anyway, have a great day! Off to try get better at golf, a never ending process. Already went for a walk at 7:00a, beautiful time of day.

TMH

[vlivengood]

September Mod Squad

Just wanted to say good morning from my porch before I head out work.... Hope everyone is off to a good start...... Feel like I am the only west coast time zoner here but seeing as I get up around 4am and I'm at work by 6 I fit right in line with you east coasters morning!!!

I'll write more in a bit

[vlivengood]

September Mod Squad

Back On my porch after a long day of work.... Checking in here but all I hear is crickets....

Hope this means every one is doing well and keeping busy with life and not AL....

I am still struggeling with having an AF day but still not liquor and keeping beers to a minimum....

Going to cook some chicken stuffing gravy and corn YUM

FF- thanks for the props on the no liquor I really am feeling much better and proud of myself

TMH- glad all is well

LG- Hows vacation? U have that movie marathon yet?

D- I would be a little worried if I didn't know you were busy on business let us know u r ok if u can....

Hope everyone enjoys a moderate evening.....

[Stewarts]

September Mod Squad

Hey everyone, I should've checked in earlier...everthing is actually fine and it all worked itself out. LG you hit it right on the head, F, yes, it is dicey one, I didn't want to get totally into the background. The next night I went to her place and we had a nice relaxing evening and we did chat for awhile. I like to think I have control of my emotions as a man, but in reality I am a very senistive and emotional guy. For the most part, I'm pretty laid back, but when you bottle things up too much, and get stressed, AL can have a way of creeping up on you in not a good way.

So, the good news, everything is back to normal, or as normal as this situation can be. I also do remember what set me off, and I'm not trying to condone my behavior, because I'm not, I'm not a guy who likes to go around verbally abusing women, especially my gf, but she crossed the line with something, let's just leave it at thatl.

I am hoping come October there will be some more clarity with this situation.

Thank you all for your support. I was a man, accepting my actions, talked through it and we are all good. We're having a nice quiet dinner and a movie at my place tonight, I have to run 20 miles tomorrow morning.

best...

j

[vlivengood]

September Mod Squad

Glad to hear Stew.... Maybe you should set a goal to be AF or a moderate limit goal for yourself until the October decision.....

[Stewarts]

September Mod Squad

VG, that's what I try to do, beers to the minimum, the lighter the side the better. I have friends that are into IPAs and I try and steer clear...they taste good, but go right to your head. I also am seeing if I'm going to drink wine, only with a meal or eating....social drinking with wine can creep up on you, especially if you're not eating...(although a nice glass of wine tastes real good some times)...anyway, everyone have a good weekend! I will definitely be AL free tonight before my long run, as for Saturday, maybe a beer or two watching football.

[Stewarts]

September Mod Squad

VG, I actually was thinking about setting an AF month.... I think I mentioned before I'm training for my 5th marathon. I have been killing my times (I mean in a good way), but I am 10 lbs heavier than I want to be. I think the summer had something to do with it. We have a boat and our marina is very social...lots of big fun bbq and lots of drink. I mean I still look the same, but I know it and that's all that matters. So, with all the big long training runs coming up (which, SHEDS pounds, as I'm sure you can imagine), I'd like to get back into marathon shape.

j.



P.S. I also told her that I think we both should watch the amount of AL we consume, she's been consuming a lot lately...anyway, thank you for your thoughts.

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

Hi gang. How's everyone this Friday morning/afternoon/evening? Just getting up good.

I went to see my mother yesterday and spent the afternoon with her. One of her friends from her church came by to visit, and I think she enjoyed that too. I doubt she will remember any of it today...me or her friend. It was very heart wrenching to see her mind slipping...when I left she said, well take me home then...I said no, Mom, this is your home. She said no, I want to go home...I don't think this is my room. Then she said well I see my pictures, I said yes, everything in here is yours and she said, Including you.:l Makes me tear up to even think about how sweet she is...I left with a heavy heart. Hate thinking she feels lost. I hope not.:upset:

I had wanted bf to go with me to see her, just for the company on the ride...told him he could go see a friend of his that lives in town, etc. while I visited with Mom. When the time came to leave he wouldn't go, and opted to stay and play his video game. Was still playing it when I got back home...dishes in the sink, back yard still uncut, although I begged him to at least do that. Was so upset last night I came very close to buying AL, but finally cooked some dinner, ate and went to bed. No drinking. This is the last day of my vacation (minus the weekend) and had hoped to do something fun...anything, but bf is back on game right now and just cussed me out for fussing about it. I am just wondering if I am a crazy nagging bitch or what?

Oh well, house is relatively clean...spent hours (by myself, of course) getting it that way. Might go out and mow the back yard...it is kind of big to do with a push mower, but all we have. I think I will at least go do a little shopping and maybe go to a movie, by myself.

:hLG

[vlivengood]

September Mod Squad

LG - You are not naggy or crazy AT all, I really hate to place judgement on people I do not really know especially since it is easy to come on this site and only share the negative aspects of a partner because we all use this site to vent.....

Also it seems I can relate to a lot of your relationship struggles but mine are few and far between and my husband is actually very good and loving and we spend a lot of time together and do a lot of fun stuff, however I could totally see him sitting on the couch with a beer and a movie while I struggle with the push mower......

I have said this before and wondered if you two could literally write down and agree to a schedule or time limits or acceptable times he can play? of course don't bring this up while he is in the middle of a game but maybe over dinner and a bottle of wine when you guys are getting along well tell him how much it really affects you and your relationship and see if he would be willing to work out the schedule, explain to him that would stop all the nagging on your part because you would not be allowed to nag at him while playing during agreed upon times.

All that being said I WOULD LOOSE MY F'N MIND AND GO OFF ON MY HUBBY LIKE A MAD WOMAN IF HE WAS GLUED TO A GAME ALL DAY, HALF A DAY ANYTHING MORE THAN AN HOUR OR TWO! Partners are supposed to be just that PARTNERS - he totally should have gone with you or at the very least spent two hours on game when you were gone then done some cleaning and maybe have gotten dinner started................

Also, I am really sorry about your Mom, it must be sooooo hard I can not imagine having to deal with my parents getting like that, I am so close with them and still look up to them so much it would be VERY difficult to see them in such a state....

[drinkingal]

September Mod Squad

LG I agree with vliven 100%. I would be upset if my DH bailed on me like that, and then to come home and find he'd done it just to waste the day away playing games, I think I would just go balistic at him. From things that you've said, it sounds like you BF is putting these games ahead of spending time with you, doing other things with you etc and that would set me off big time. If it happened more than once, that xbox would probably end up getting carried outside and smashed to pieces to prove my point ops:

[FarfallaP]

September Mod Squad

Hi everyone,

Not much new with me, just working my way through stacks of mail and bills...yuck.

LG, good for you for visiting your Mom....and a big GOOD for you for not buying AL yesterday when you were having some bad moments!

NONE of the gentlemen with whom I have ever lived ... From my Dad, to my husband, to my son, has EVER willingly done much, if anything, around the house. And reminding them only makes them grumpy. Occasionally, each will up and do whatever it is that HE has decided to do.

I frequently make a point of doing my chores at times when they cannot help but notice, so as to maybe shame them into action. Sometimes, that works, eventually.

Each has his good points, in other respects, I hasten to add! My son sometimes goes on a video game bender...I personally think it is often related to an underlying anxiety, almost like an addiction, of some sort. Sort of like my ex sister in law, who talks on the phone to anyone for hours on end about absolutely nothing, as far as I can tell.

Anyway, I hope you get to go to the sale you wanted to go to at Myrtle Beach tomorrow. And, to all of us, here's to a happy, moderately AF weekend! FF

[FarfallaP]

September Mod Squad

oh, and Stewarts, just wanted to say, good for you for even thinking about some AF time...when these thoughts cross our minds, even if we do not act on them right away, or as much as we would like, I think we are planting healthy little seeds in our unconscious which will sooner or later lead us to make healthier choices for ourselves.

Again, happy weekend, fellow Modders! FF