Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jenni I love swimming. Great for relaxing.
Daisy 1 week. 7 days:rays: The sun is shining on you.
I'm going to bed early. Have a good night all.
Narilly I know that the only way I will ever be able to drink in moderation is when they change my city's name. If I only plan to drink one why do I always buy 12?
SL hanging out sounds like fun.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I realise tonight that I have been hiding - hiding and broken; on the outside I am strong and dependable and yet now, sitting alone (my girls are asleep), I am overwhemed with hurt at how I have been trated by my ex-husband, and guilt and shame for how I choose to deal with it......my children deserved better. I am so aware that all that we do impacts on the lives of our children and their future.......I have no intention of touching that poison again but am going to have to face my feelings, probably for the first time really.....I could cry a river tonight and want to run away from myself....

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey, Daisy. You'll be ok. It is hard to deal with things we've been avoiding for years. It seems that everyone here has to learn to do it. I think it is going to be a lifelong process.

It is ok to cry. We just can't run away into a bottle anymore.

You aren't alone in feeling this way and although it hurts, you can get through it. :l

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy - not sure if you read my post from Wed/Thur - I was in a similar place, I am sure things are very different yet similar - I am going to try very hard not to be dwelling in the past but working on making the future bright for myself and my girls, and they and I deserve it - and we will achieve it.
I am sorry you are feeling sad, some have posted that we drank to numb our feelings and when not drinking the feelings can come thru. I think we have to be sad - I know I have been, will be again - also angry, defeated, let down and everything else - I am going to enjoy feeling, but hope that the down feelings become less than the up feelings.
I too am lonely and regretful when the night gets quiet, but I can't let him (or as named on here Fwad) get the better of me - I can't let him win anything at all.
Huge hugs my friend, feel without wine hiding it, and then find the strength to feel the good...:l:l

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

One thing that led me to finally stop drinking was the realization that I didn't feel much at all - good or bad. It was like being dead emotionally. This quote, from a book I read a few months ago and really liked, explains it clearly:

?We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.?
― Bren? Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS I believe that is true too. I am finding it hard to not cry at the drop of a hat lately. I would think it is all those emotions I numbed for all those years and I just don't know what to do with them..

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I guess just experience them and try to understand them - they are clues as to who we really are and what we really want out of life.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

Chalk me up on the list of criers - yes, at the drop of a hat. I have been a crier all my life, but I have noticed it comes a bit easier right now. Not very conducive to people believing in me at work all the time, so I am working on time and place at the moment.

I am quite busy with work and my kids homework and sports right now, but I wanted to check in. A friend sent me the following "Daily Ponderable" from a NA meeting - her whole family are recovering from one addiction or another (except one sister who is an active addict, and herself. They call her an "normie.") Anyway - the pondering was coincidentally about surrender, so I thought I'd share:

"We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text, p. 22

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.


That is good for us all to remember - yes, there are good times and bad. That is life, but that is no excuse to drink. We owe it to ourselves!

Stay tough, loamers. We got this!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Jennie, that swim sounds great! I love swimming. We have a nice salt water pool here and do I don't have a chlorine issue, it is awesome.

J-Vo, way to go! Let's take this opportunity to hold hands
Kidding... I am glad you are changing some patterns and that you have been able to pinpoint some things you needed to change. You go J-Vo!

Ava, what happened to buddy with the air con?
Hope you had a good sleep.

Humble, I bet you are a great cook!

NS, yes I have kicked those mod thoughts in the ass.

Thanks for the post Pav.
LB, no moderating for me I know that.
Daisy, I'm sorry you are going through this. Sometimes I think we are harder on ourselves than we should be. You are a beautiful person trying to do your best. We all make mistakes and then learn from them. Sorry your ex is a FWad but at least you know that and you know you can and will do better.

SL, you sound better. I am so glad.

Go grab that light at the end of the tunnel ladies!

Xo

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi ladies,
I can't believe I'm still awake at 11:17. Had a long day at work and took me a while to unwind and get sleepy. Fortunately, no alcohol for me. Will check in more thoroughly tomorrow, xo everyone, and I think we are all sober around here, asleep or awake, so let's keep it up. Night all.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loamers hello

Well a lovely cool day here but warm tomorrow and getting brutal again by the weekend.

Nar dont you hate it when you lose a long post, i now always copy what i have typed just in case as i would have for you guys to not have a long post to wake up to. -20 i think i would enjoy that, how is that spare room going for me? i'm ready to have that garage sale and sell up and sell the kids as well! Abs what abs, me that is, i must must get motivated, oh one day, no pressure, im not going anywhere and god forbid i got fit, had abs and died. who would appreciate them then! Get those mod thoughts out of your head Nar, god if you can moderate we all can! Yeah right, i can also stand on my head and whistle dixy! Oh the air con guy, well he told me i was a top chick and have not heard anything from him since last saturday. so this top chick cbf"d to text him again. I have met enough fwads to bide my sober self now till a decent one comes along.

How are you doing jenni? Being af is the best achievement that i have done in a long time. You can do this but stay on here where you are safe. You are sounding really positive which is great. glad you can sleep, my sleep was hell for ever it seemed. Its 7.30pm here now and i am tired but i know i will wake up way too early if i sleep now.

SL hope life is being kind to you this week and you are not drinking, it doesnt help at all and if you want to drink throw it at the Fwad that will make you feel better, oh and do it outside so no mess.

Jvo i cant move over, i like snuggling when i have a bed companion so you can always go into the spare room if it gets too much. I hope i have not woken you with my snoring and talking in my sleep. Suprising that i talk in my sleep.

LB you made me laugh with "changing the cities name", we could try a petition maybe if you are keen to mod but i will be on my head whistling dixy when that happens with you. You bought 12 the same reason i bought two bottles of wine to have 2 glasses. I mean what if they got knocked over! We would have been safe but god help anyone who knocked my wine glass over, maybe that is why sometimes i bought three bottles. You are sounding well LB how is the talking sessions going? I hope for your sake they can move forward with you.

Daisy big hugs. The emotions you go through when giving up al are a way of showing that we are healing. I always wondered how those "normal" people dealt with this crap everyday without the bottle. But when we get our heads around it and rationalise our feelings life is so much better. We can never take back the past even though we all would love to but we can make the future better for our children. Cry a river if it makes you feel better, we will be here to wipe your tears!

NS that is how i felt before i gave up drinking, like i was just walking through this life, i was avoiding everything, including my children and what was the point except drinking to not feel a single thing. Now i have so much feeling it gets annoying and most of the time i am happy, happy to wake up, happy to look in the mirror, happy that even though some days i dont enjoy life i am actually living in it.

Dot just cry, i think the only emotion i ever had when drinking was anger and why me! God help me if i am going through the anger stage now, i should be crying up a storm when i am holidays. Thanks guys for the heads up!. It will warm up for you soon and that always gets some endorphins going.

Pav hello lovely. I have never been a crier, it was shown as a sign of weakness in our family and i wish i could as now the whole family are not criers. Put me in an airport though and i will cry a river. i loved what you posted, it is so true. When i came here i was "different" but really we are all the same, all wanting to recover and some stronger than others, I think once i accepted that i was an alcoholic and had a big problem then the problem did not seem too bad to face and with help it has been achievable.

Humble hello and goodnight. being awake at 11.17 is never good on a work night at all i will look forward to a post from you to wake up to.

Well today i nearly told a patient to fark off, some random patient wanting help but not asking nicely. I told a work colleague to "tell him where to go". Patient did not get it but i felt better. PMS time and its baaaadddddd! A friend was telling me today that i previously said i was giving up smoking so why wont i drink again and i probably will. WELL PARDON ME sunshine what you have just said has made me more determined than i already am to prove to negative people like you that i will do this. She is engaged to my ex fwad and has been trying to give up smoking forever and drinking for that matter. they both enable each other but i can feel sorry for them that they dont have the strength and determination that i have and yes i will give up smoking this year, it has to be done. I do love her though but gees, give me a break. I know she means well and she has been very supportive.

Well enough waffling for tonight and now to watch the idiot box for an hour. Take care all.

[Roller Girl]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey ladies I effed-up too. Had a crappy day at work Saturday, some family issues and a scare around an enlarged mole (always a massive big deal here in Aussie) not to mention a row with a friend (over something really stupid) and yes you guessed it, Saturday night getting ready to go to another friends' place for a girly evening (I had intended to drive) I thought... "Just one drink, while I"m doing my hair and nails, I'll just finish off that half-bottle in the fridge, it's been open 6 days, it will go off & be wasted if I leave it much more, just to get me feeling sociable, melt away some of my anxieties & get me over the social nerves of meeting new poeple, after all, I did have the offer of a ride if I needed one...." and the rest is history.

Sunday and Monday I thought "Well I've stuffed up may as well keep going." Stupid boozey logic. Embarrassed myself (again) and feel like a million pieces of crap (again.)

But I'm back, Day 1 nearly completed, I never want to do a Day 1 again. No more alcohol in the house now, and I've made a commitment to try and practice my mindfulness every day, so I can use it more effectively when I get stressed. We can do this together.

*hugs* xxx

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy, I'm sorry you're feeling down. As they say, let those feelings come and just sit with them, and maybe with a gf? Good you came here and posted. Is there anyone you can talk with about this, a therapist? You're doing awesome. Keep up the good work.

Great quotes Pav. I'm putting my uniqueness aways and embracing recovery and you ladies.

BTW, I'm a big crier.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
Been again having problems with the internet connection here.. it's so off and on at the moment and super slow!!
But I am sober.. coming to the end of day 6

Big warm and positive vibes to everyone...
x
Patrice

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey roller girl and Patrice. Good to see you both.
Ava we are working on it. The meetings feel productive, but girlie SNEAKED out yesterday. She won't bring the person picking her up back to the door and didn't say bye.
I am going to talk about accountability for our next meeting. I really hope she wants sobriety enough to really fight for it. Another Heroin death in the news yesterday. Phillip Seymore Hoffman. What a horrible drug (like there is a GOOD drug) for a young, beautiful girl to throw her life away on! Uuggggggg. I hate the total waste.
Have a good day ladies.