Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle, spending time out in nature & with animals is perfect. Do as much of that as you can to ease your stress. MWO sold hypnotherapy CDs when I first started here & they helped me immensely. See if you can find something online to listen to when you’re falling asleep. There was one I especially liked on ‘clearing your mind’. Another way to deal with emotions is by journaling, give that a try.
In other words, try everything until you find what works for you. Good work on your 3 days!!!! Keep going!

Thanks Lav. Keep warm over there. It sure is an inside job. Know thyself. Any sort of simple breathing meditation, following the breath and leaving thoughts alone can really open a space for non judgemental contemplation and mind observation. 'Oh, i'm thinking that now? That's interesting' and practicing observing thoughts, and leaving them alone. Life saving/changing daily practice. Free, and road tested by millions over thousands of years to be of big value.
Great work Battle star galactica! Keep it rolling.

L8tr g8trs.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Friday evening greetings Nesters,

The polar vortex has arrived & boy is it cold & windy!! Tomorrow will be the same then conditions will begin to ease Sunday.
I have plenty of inside projects to keep me out of trouble

Hey G! Happy flying tis weekend, haha! Good luck with your course, sounds very interesting.

Ava, wow you have a lot going on right now. I know you are grateful for the clear head to handle it all.
Hopefully you can work out a peaceful existence with your daughter when she returns. I had one kind leave home, never to return & another who was back & forth a few times. They’re all different & it’s good we can give them a hand when needed.

Battle, spending time out in nature & with animals is perfect. Do as much of that as you can to ease your stress. MWO sold hypnotherapy CDs when I first started here & they helped me immensely. See if you can find something online to listen to when you’re falling asleep. There was one I especially liked on ‘clearing your mind’. Another way to deal with emotions is by journaling, give that a try.
In other words, try everything until you find what works for you. Good work on your 3 days!!!! Keep going!

Wags, I’ll definitely be happy to take your weather - please pass it here

NS, there’s quite a few of us here now with substantial AF time. And to think it all started with a Google search on how to stop drinking. Just goes to show what determination, a good helping of stubbornness & an understanding group of people can do.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Ava, that's so great re your old vids conversion to digital. They're sure to last a lot longer now.

Short drive by. All's well over here. The journey of firming up my mindset continues with interest. I've taken on a years course training in the way of the Shaolin monks. Includes Qigong, a little Kung fu, meditation, philosophy - buddist, Tao, confuscious, or as the monk pronounces it...'confusionist philosophy' lol. An all round human upgrade which i imagine will firm up my attitude and skill set in dealing with the inside......i.e..........me!

Big waves to all. Off to practice flying across some rooftops.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

oh i can feel a waffle ha ha.

Busy week with sick dogs and 3 vet visits and will throw in some work and i am screwed. there is no way in this world i could have kept up with this if i had been drinking, my anxiety would have been out of control just for starters not to mention driving hung over driving to vets then hitting the repeat button at the end of the day. Bindi's glucose is back to 25 for some reason and she was pretty unwell but now the rescue are going to buy a device that will sit on her back and monitor her glucose, its hard as she was only diagnosed when she came into my care 5 months ago but we will get there, Gucci still doesnt want to eat but i am managing to get one meal a day into her and my CARL went to surgeons and got such a good report from his surgery that we are going for the other leg on the 10th March and then we can get back out to walking the pavements. he is such a good patient and as long as he can see me he is fine, he can now walk outside on a lead for 5 mins.

Battle, i could never wrap my head around never drinking so i planned to drink on my 80th which when i gave up drinking was 30 years away. Now the thought of it wants to make me puke but i could not think of never. As TJ said we have all been in the same boat and thats what i love about MWO is that everyone on here understands where you are at as we have been there ourselves. i think i was sick of letting myself down constantly, i was only hurting myself and i also felt i was letting down the help i was receiving on here but never once was i judged, i just had to rearrange my thinking, leave my ego at the door when i came on here and not get pissed off when the advice i received was right and my way of thinking was completely wrong. Lav wisely told me to be grateful (what for i thought) and to find one thing every day. Every morning after 9 years sober i still wake up grateful to be sober and know that accountability still is a must in my sobriety. Being lifey 24/7 is a pretty stressful job in itself so i do love coming on here and reading and posting. I never understood how normal people went through life but it is a learned behaviour over time. now i can consider myself one of those normal people, who would have thought.

I have my son is who is not drinking atm and i think to myself each day he doesnt drink is a good day. of course he doesnt listen to me, what child does, but i know he can see the life i have now, but when he does drink he has his blinders on and gives me any excuse as to why he needs to drink. i also have a family friend that was into xanax and every other pill he could take and heroin, he OD'd last year, went to rehab and still went back to it. after two stints in jail, he is now over 100 days sober and i am so very proud of him. he kind of listens to me and has realised that this is his journey and that one day at a time is all he can do. He has a lot of mental health issues bought on by his drug use but is putting in the hard work now to stay sober.

My excitement for the week was that i had some 8mm video tapes put on to a USB and OMG, i just cant believe my children were that small and i could watch people that have now died talk and be present in my life. it was a pretty emotional watch (only 15 mins) at this stage, i was sad, happy, amazed and overhwelmed. very emotional going back to that time, i was a binge drinker and that makes me sad but we have all lived to lead good lives so that makes me happy. Next weekend all of the children and mum are coming to have a family night and watch them. normally i cant get the tribe together until xmas so i am pretty excited about that.

We have finally had some good rain but its turned cold so jumpers on which is weird in summer but not really living in Victoria. 7 degrees overnight and next week we will have 30 degrees. i am hoping the ground is going to be wet enough to get some of these damn bindi's out of the ground.

Oh my daughter is moving back, now i am unsure if there is any excitement in those few words, ha ha. I have had 4 months of ME time and have loved it, after 35 years of children, 4 MONTHS but i appreciate that time and will embrace my daughter returning. i dont think i have much more to say about that. Oh lets not forget Bob the dog will be back also, not her cat as i didnt seem to get her to take her cat.

I best stop waffling, so glad everyone is well and lifing along. Time for my 1st morning coffee, oh i bought a multi cooker which is a pressure cooker and slow cooker. bit excited to be trying this baby out.

take care xxxxx

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening all

Day 3, nice start to the day, visit to a local farm to pet some of the animals, always at my happiest surrounded by creatures, people I'll pass on but give me a nice pig to sit with and I'll be happy for hours haha. Having a rough time with cravings still, definitely glad I took advice this time and have no alcohol in the house, makes it a lot easier not to give in. I keep reminding myself how bad I felt after the slip and that I don't want to go there again. I genuinely do keep asking how anyone does this though, I keep telling myself it should be easier, I can do better than this, but it still feels like such a struggle.

Lav - I am honestly trying to think of alternatives but its something I'm struggling with, I guess a lot of folks do because we spend so long avoiding healthy coping mechanisms we don't find healthy ones. I have to be really conscious not to replace one bad habit with another, my OCD and ED have both been more challenging since I started trying to quit because that's the other soothing behaviour my brain's been wired with. I don't even know what normal people -do- to deal with emotions haha.

Mulburry - I don't know if yesterday was withdrawal, I've always had issues with insomnia with even the slightest change in my drinking habits though, but then I've always chalked that up to the decreased sedation, but given my history of short bursts or repeated quit attempts maybe not.

Wags - honestly I probably need a therapist to deal with actually living with feelings of just about any kind haha, I have PTSD, anxiety, OCD and autism, its a challenging combination (not making excuses, incidentally, just laying out my thoughts) - unfortunately mental health services in the UK are basically useless, I've been turned away before because I'm too complicated for the NHS to pay to deal with unless its a crisis situation.

NS - perused it, internalised it, I'm trying I really am, its maddening, the fact I'm having such a hard time is honestly humiliating to me, I don't get why it's this hard, I really don't. I've no idea how anyone makes it through this early part. My thinking is very much I can't drink, I don't want to drink, but also i would kill for a drink. I didn't even enjoy it the last time I had one, I felt awful, I know that and yet still if someone put a drink in front of me I'd have a hard time saying no, knowing full well where it leads.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle, Will power can work for awhile but not in the long term vs addictive substances or behaviors. More tools are needed. Have you perused the Tool Box thread here?

Our thinking has to change from 'I can't drink' to 'I won't drink' to 'I don't drink' until at some point we realize we 'never HAVE to drink again'. When you get there, you're free.

You clearly are a smart guy who can stick with a goal, having made it to where you are now. Those abilities can really help you now but at the same time, you've got to be able to put your ego aside. I tried for years to intellectualize my way out of this problem and just got deeper and deeper into it. As they say in AA and elsewhere, you can't use the same thinking that got you into the situation to get out. I finally admitted I was lost and decided to do what the people here who were having success said to do. And they were right.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle - I can relate to so many parts of your story, including the car accident, brain injury, pain killers, and succeeding academically in spite of drinking. I understand what you're describing, and I'm here to say even with all of that it's totally possible to do this! As Lav suggested, find effective alternatives to turn to when those feelings you'd rather avoid pop up. Of course eventually you'll want to learn skills for being in those feelings and working through them, but as an initial strategy healthy distractions can be very effective. It sounds like you're coming to terms with what challenges you, and that's a huge step.

Mulburry - oh yes, I had very similar reactions to even a slight decrease in drinking. It was so scary - it's actually what scared me sober. How are you doing now?

Lav - we must be just ahead of you on the weather, as we're near the end of several days & nights way below freezing, but I think this weekend might be in the 50s F here too.


Hellos to TJAF, Ava, NS, and everyone else in the nest. Happy Fridays!!!

[Mulburry]

Re: Newbies Nest

The last thing I think you should know about is Kindling, its something I learned about late and had I known about it earlier it may have saved me some tough times dealing with detox.

Same for me. Kindling is real and it's absolutely horrible. I kindled my brain to the point that even slight fluctuations in drinking levels, or cutting down by truly miniscule amounts would bring on withdrawal symptoms. If anyone is at the point that your noticing withdrawal symptoms, even mild ones, from a weekend binge, that's the start of it and it only gets worse. That's when you want to get out for good (sure wish I had back then).

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings everyone,

Getting ready for some seriously cold air moving in the next few days. Then next week it’s going to be in the 50’s, how crazy is that?

Battle, I mentioned drinking triggers because I remember how important they were for me. Anxiety & anger were right there at the top of the list for me! I had to figure out what I was going to do instead of drink when feeling anxious. I found the distractions that worked for me & made a solemn promise to myself to never drink AT someone ever again. I was sick of that old routine & it did nothing to improve my situation. You will figure out what works for you & I hope you feel better very soon.

TJ, kindling is a thing. I sure didn’t want to go there. All I wanted was AL to be in my past & decided that this quit had to be the final quit for me

Wags & NS, hello to you both, hope your days were good.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening all

Well I've spent the day sick as all hell, I doubt its drinking/drug related as 48 hours surely isn't enough to kick off another round of withdrawals, I slept better than I was expecting but felt awful all day, just kept my headphones and kept my head down at work, glad to be home now.

Lav - I was thinking about what you said about triggers this morning and came to the rather depressing conclusion I'm triggered by feeling things haha - bored, sad, anxious, anything short of euphoria and my brain jumps straight to 'have a drink/pill'. I think I just have to acclimatise but its hard going working out what to do with myself.

TJAF - I've made a fair few attempts going back about 15 years now, I'm aware of the kindling effect as I have an unfortunate tendency to make multiple short lived attempts in quick succession - I've had four attempts at quitting drinking in the last 5 months and this is round five with painkillers in the last 3 months. I've only succeeded in picking up any real clean and sober time when its been on medical advice (screwed my kidneys up with a combination of prescribed immunosuppressants and alcohol at 19, years later was in a car accident and was banned from anything sedating due to the delights of post-concussion syndrome), or when my eating disorder was bad enough that the calories from alcohol gave me a meltdown. Thank you for your advice though, I joke that all feelings are triggers for me but self-loathing is definitely the biggest one I need to keep in check.

NS - its funny in some ways I'm very strong willed, heck to get as far as a PhD whilst being an alcoholic you have to have a ton of willpower, but I feel like maybe I use it all in willing myself to succeed in one area. I keep telling myself I can will myself not drink or use and yet here we are on attempt numbers four and five. Same problem with most addictive things - my caffeine habit is legendary at this point but I've had to give up fighting that one haha.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I wrote a post yesterday and must not have actually posted it!! Any, I hope you're back on track, Battle. I agree with TJ - no point in beating yourself up. Just because you've done something in the past (over and over and over) doesn't mean things will always be like that. You can change your thinking in an instant. Anytime you want! A thought isn't anything real - and it is up to you which of the 50K thoughts you have each day you choose to pay attention to. For example, I was a pretty shy kid most of my life and could see what I was missing out on because of that. I decided not to be shy in college and -just like that- I no longer was. When a thought to hold back or feel embarrassed popped into my mind, I just let it go and did the 'unshy' thing. I used the same technique to quit drinking. When I felt the urge to drink, I let that thought go (an urge is just the physical manifestation of a thought) and replaced it with 'but I don't drink' and forced myself to move on to the next better thing. Don't let those unreal thoughts take you where you don't want to go. You can do this. NS

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle - it sounds like you're getting your head back in the game, which is great. As TJAF said, you're in a place where we offer support, not judgment. I don't think there's a person here who hasn't slipped up or gotten in their own way.

Lav - yep, even doing dishes is more enjoyable with a great kitchen faucet!

TJAF - you described it so well - it IS incredibly freeing to know you'll truly never drink again. The hardest parts of quitting for many people are getting started and fighting off the temptations and self-doubts of the early days. Later into a solid quit, it's like it has a positive energy of its own that carries it for you.


Hellos and waves everyone!

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle, I went through multiple attempts to quit before the last one stuck. Most of us have gone through the same cycle. You aren't alone. The important thing is not to beat yourself up. Your addicted Brain loves self loathing, it makes it easier to convince you to give up. You're lucky to have a group of people here that aren't sitting in judgement. You'll find unquestioned support here.
Earlier you said you had a hard time thinking that you'll never drink again. In this early phase of your sobriety that's understandable. I promise you that there will be a time when you'll be ecstatic realizing you'll never drink again. Its an incredible feeling of freedom.
The last thing I think you should know about is Kindling, its something I learned about late and had I known about it earlier it may have saved me some tough times dealing with detox. When a person experiences detox and withdrawal repeatedly, the symptoms get more severe each time. The cycle of drinking and abstaining has had a detrimental effect on their body chemistry. The effect is known as kindling. Look it up it may help Keep at it! Fake it till you make it!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Getting chilly here as the Arctic air moves in from the west, Brrrr! Grateful the new heater is working nicely.

Wags, it honestly doesn’t take much to make me happy & working fixtures in the house is right at the top of the list, haha!! Things like faucets may seem minor in the big picture but it matters to me Enjoy your brand new faucet.

Battle, good to see you getting right back on track. We use to talk a lot here about triggers & the importance of having a good plan in place. Whatever your drinking/using triggers are be sure to have a list of alternatives ready. Write them down, carry them with you. Call a friend or post on here if it helps. Wishing you the best! We used to have large fish tanks here & I know how funky that water gets, ugh.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!!

Lav

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening all,

A quick check in from Day 1, dealing with a lot of regret and shame over the last couple of days, and cravings are fairly brutal - turns out reminding myself why I enjoyed drugs by getting high at work was a really really awful idea (who would have guessed?), at least the drinking had the decency to make me miserable and remind me why I wanted to quit haha. Jokes aside, I'm more determined than ever to make this work, doubling down on my plan and keeping out of temptation's way as best I can.

Wags - I got excited about a new sink drain not long ago, the landlord cheaped out pretty bad on fixtures and sittings, the entire thing became detached, a problem i didn't realise until i cleaned out the fish tank and emptied a ten litre bucket of water into a sink that had a hole where the pipe should be. Same week as that happened with my bathroom sink the cold tap on the kitchen sink stopped working - so I was running water in the bathroom and brushing my teeth in the kitchen. Can't blame a guy for getting a bit excited when it was all fixed haha.