Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Soggy east coast day but tomorrow will be an improvement or so they say

Wags, some little tricks to help your Dad: try hanging a large calendar in his room, leave some pics of yourself & anyone else he’s close to so he can see them all day & be sure you’re leaving him a note on that white board telling him when you’ll be back. I know people tend to try to hide their confusion, it’s sad & scary for you as well. Hopefully the home has some sort of activities department that could occupy him a bit so he’s not stuck in a loop in his head. You’re doing great, it’s hard :hug:

I hope everyone else is OK & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of two special people. My condolences to you and everyone who loves both of them. I know you're well-aware how even one loss like this could (would) have triggered many of us to drink in the past, and it sounds like you're protecting your 9.5 year quit very well. Sending you empathy and strength.

NS - can't wait to hear how the anti-gun event goes. Thank you for doing that AND for your help on the environmental work! Your post reminds me I need to tell my wife about the group - she's very much an activist and would love additional ways to get involved.

Kensho - I don't blame you a bit for canceling a camping trip that would have been so soggy. Do you tent camp or do you have a camper or what? I love camping but in the rain it's not as fun. Good luck getting your work done. The countdown is on for your Italy trip!


Sigh. I feel like I live on a roller coaster. I've been to visit my dad 3 of the past 4 days (Mon, Tue, Thu) and when I was there yesterday I left him a whiteboard note to remind him I was there and that I'll be visiting again this weekend. Today I got a call from him (they called me first to make sure it was ok) and he was tearful and sad and really struggling to understand where he was or what was going on with his life. He didn't remember that I was there yesterday. It's just shocking to me how quickly his memory seems to be deteriorating. I was hoping the Memory Care unit would be providing him with more structure and maybe tools to help support his daily routine so he doesn't have to "remember" so many things, but they aren't really doing that. I will continue to problem solve but I will also have to advocate harder for him to get some additional support. He isn't likely to ask for it himself, and he's also incredibly smart and thus able to cover for his memory issues with people who don't know him well, which means they might not realize he needs more help. It's just hard knowing he's so sad and confused sometimes and there's not a lot I can do to help ease that for him. Breaks my heart.

Take care everyone.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We had a regular summer day here, 86 degrees, wow! It will be cooling down with some rain moving in this weekend.

Wags, glad everything is under control for you

Ava, I?m so sorry to hear you lost two special friends this week & both way too young. Be kind to yourself, I know you won?t drink. Yes, some days simply suck

NS, enjoy your peace & quiet this weekend. You have a lot of good things going on in your life now so of course you won?t drink either. What sewing projects are on the table lately?

Kensho, sounds like you have things under control as well, good for you! The weather is one thing that?s completely out of our hands. I?d cancel a camping trip too, no fun camping in the rain.
I heard a news report today that the cost of pasta has risen >17% recently in Italy & residents are up in arms. Be prepared to spend a little more for meals I guess.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, I'm sorry to hear about the deaths of your friends. :angel:

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

HI Nest. Happy Friday! It's cool and rainy... we cancelled our camping trip for this weekend. Normally we are not afraid of the elements, but it's downright soggy here. And my husband and I both have deadlines for some serious work - so we're staying here to catch up before our big trip on May 29.

Yes, it's amazing to remember how little control we actually have when it comes to Mother Nature. Humbling. It would benefit us all to respect her more.

Wags, you're such a problem solver. Glad you will have more breathing room, even if you miss your dad. You deserve your space and office. I can attest to needing it as a fellow work-from-home person. It's hard sharing.

Not much else to share here. I just keep doing my thing... making progress feels good. And I've had the opportunity to take my dad and daughter to the gym - as well as help my husband lately. It amazes me how sprinkling some love on others helps me when I feel stressed.

Weekend, here I come.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm so sorry for your losses, Ava. It sounds like you have good memories of both of them.

I've got another weekend on my own so another chance to be grateful that I'm not going to drink it away like I used to do. The other night I took a super hot bath and when I got out, felt nauseous and dizzy -very much like I used to feel when I drank too much. I can't believe I used to make myself feel that way so regularly!! Looking back, it really was form of madness.

Tomorrow I'm going to distribute literature from an environmental group I've joined and in the afternoon participate in an anti-gun event. I know I wouldn't have done either if I still were drinking.

Have a good weekend!!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

been a few days since i posted, life just keeps on giving atm.

Wags, glad your dad is settling in and life is settling down for you. a bigger office space sounds lovely, i moved my spare room around and have now my computer screen is not playing nicely. god knows what i have done, plugged in in wrong somewhere. my son came around to fix it but of course he just did something and left without checking it and not working.

I have mothers day this weekend and my daughter had her birthday this week so will be nice to catch up with the family. Not sure if my mum and son will visit. I had a friend's daughter msg me today asking me to call a mutual friend of her mums and mine. as soon as i saw that message i knew something was wrong. My friend sadly died from a brain aneurysm. I am just devastated beyond words, she had a headache last night, collapsed and was put on life support but was brain dead. I lived with her for a few years when we were 18 and she was just a wonderful human, had just become a nana again a few weeks ago and was fine and healthy. Our children grew up together and she is godmother to 2 of my children. Another friend who i met on here nearly 10 years ago and i kept in contact with through fb and email aslo died on Monday from cervical cancer. Funny enough i did think today that when i go to my friends funeral that i will have a drink in honour of Rhonda but then thought "how would she feel about that", not very fecking happy. Still a go to reaction nearly 10 years down the track. I wont drink but some times the escape would be welcome but i know her death will be there tomorrow. She was 56 and my other friend was 62.

I am lucky my children are around me, i even spoke to my ex husband today which was lovely of him to call and offer his support. Tomorrow is another day but today totally sucks.

take care xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav and NS - great to see you both.

Hope everyone is having a good week. It's already Friday for almost all of you and soon will be for me too. Make it a good one!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, meant to say enjoy your new work space. It’s something you deserve & I hope it makes life easier

Lav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Very nice day here, no complaints

Wags, after working with seniors for so many years I came to realize that their basic personalities don’t change much even with all the confusion going on. You Dad was probably meticulous about bills & taxes & such so that’s not going to change. The whiteboard is a good idea provided he remembers to read it daily. Place it somewhere in his room where he can’t miss it, that may work.
It just took us 9 1/2 yds of mulch to take care of everything around here. This is why we hired the 14 yr old grandson to spread the mulch all across the back of the house. It’s a huge job for a couple of not-newbies, haha!!

NS, it’s hard to baby all these new plants then have some storm come & destroy them. So far so good here. I hope Kensho’s plants are OK.
I’m with you in feeling grateful to be out of the grips of AL, that was hell, not going there again!!!

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!
Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh, man, taking down and setting up every day sounds wearing, Wags. It is great you can quit doing that. You are very thoughtful about figuring out what your dad needs. Maybe a calendar would be a good tool, too.

So sorry about your plants, Kensho. There has been a lot of large hail in this area but so far we've not been hit. As I was planting some things it occurred to me not to get too attached given what nature can do in an instant without warning. And for good reason, nature seems to be pretty pissed off right now.

Things are fine here - not much to report. Every day around 4pm I'm aware of NOT feeling the pull of addiction and am so grateful.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - I hope the storm damage and resulting mess isn't too terrible to clean up. Nature definitely finds a way to bounce back or adjust - it's us humans who usually have a harder time.

Lav - My Dad has some good days and some rough ones. I don't think he totally understands that he's in his new home, and he sometimes asks the staff to call me and ask me to come see him, even when I was just there. I'm going to set him up with a whiteboard that says: "Jami visited you _____ (name of day). She will visit again on _____ (name of day)" I'm also going to give him a special notepad where he can write down things he wants to talk with me about or things he's concerned about (he tends to perseverate about things like taxes or insurance payments or similar, even when we've already paid them or whatever). I'm hoping these and similar tools will help calm his mind and help him "remember" or at least track a bit more of what's going on.


Had a productive day in Wagland. Went and picked up a yard of mulch in our pickup truck, and I spread most of it single-handedly (what a great workout!). Got some furniture in the house moved around cuz I'm moving my office/classroom (I teach online) into the basement area where my dad was living up until early April. This is a big improvement in space for my work. For the past 6 years I've been teaching from one corner of our bedroom, having to set everything up and take it all back down every single day. I'm kinda sad my dad isn't able to live downstairs anymore but I'm grateful to be moving into a much larger space I can set up for the long run.


Hope everyone is doing well and got over the hump smoothly.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Kensho, I’m listening to the evening news now & they said there’s a tornado warning somewhere in CO. Storms can do a lot of damage for sure. Hope everything dries out OK. Nice your son helps out when needed, appreciated

Wags, hope your day was good & your Dad is still feeling calm & settled.

We had a nice weather day, picked up a few more plants from an Amish greenhouse. You can never have too many summer blooms
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

YEA Wags! So happy to hear you're feeling so positive about your dad's care place. It must feel like a huge weight off your shoulders. I hope you are remembering to get some YOU time

We had a 11pm hail storm last night which took all the flowers and leaves off the trees, and flooded streets. It's a sad mess out there. But nature has a way of revitalizing - may take a few days! My son watches the nearby ditch grate for backups, and it is completely filled with debris and mud and muck. I may get him some waders later - it's going to be a huge job.

I'm not wanting to work today. But here I go....

Where is everyone else? It feels quiet here. Haven't heard from Byrdie or PAV in ages! Or many others..... G, are you out there??

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sober check in. Hope everyone is doing well.

Good to see you Lav.

Catch you all tomorrow.