Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - sounds like you had a long and emotional day. Glad you were able to go and honor your best friend and connect with others. Grief is such a difficult journey. Take all the cuddles and YOU blankie caves you can get, and know that we're all here sending support as well.

Lav - I can understand why you're glad to have such a big home project done. We're having windows replaced later this week and the work for us to clear things away and then put them back will be significant, especially since my wife has only one hand right now. Can't wait to be on the other side of DONE!

NS - I remember carpet from the 80s and I'd definitely say it was made better then (most things were probably). You're lucky yours has held up so well, and I'm sure someday you'll decide it's worth all the work to get new installed. We'll stay tuned!


Visited my dad today and it might have been the best I've seen him since I first took him to the ER 6-7 weeks ago. He had joined the other residents for breakfast in the dining room, he ate some lunch (well, a little lunch and then PIE), he had his music on in his room, and he was lucid. If all of his days could be like this his quality of life would be pretty darn good, and my heart would relax. I am hopeful that he's starting to adjust and settle in, and I'm really happy I chose the place I did for him cuz they've been pretty amazing.

On that good note, I wish you all a happy hump day tomorrow!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

We finally have the house to ourselves but still need to move furniture back into place. Glad it’s done, never again Lol

Ava, it must have been an exhausting day, mentally & physically for you. Keep those fond memories oof your friend close to your heart :hug:

NS, to be honest I keep thinking in terms keeping this house near market ready, just in case. As we get older it gets harder to maintain the inside & outside of this place & pretty much impossible if one of us dies. May have to go looking for a granny condo someday haha!!

Wags, god job on the storage unit. Donating the majority of that stuff takes a huge weight off your shoulders.
I have heard of that book but haven’t read it yet. Will definitely keep it in mind. Life is good without that want/need to drink, absolutely

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Wags, I hope you dad settles down for you but glad you achieved some culling. i am still trying to finish my damn garage. one day, no hurry. I will goggle that book.

NS, i think they definitely made better quality carpet back in 1987, i think they made most things to last longer than 5 years.

Lav, takes me an hour to drive 30km's in peak hour here, its shocking thus why i start work at 5am when i go in. i just cant do it anymore. So glad your eye is stable though, we kind of need them

I was up at 4am this morning to catch a flight to NSW for my best friends funeral. i landed back home at 9pm and i am exhausted. I have not cried so much in such a long time and I miss her greatly, it just seems so surreal still. It was her birthday today also and she was 57. They had her wake at the pub she used to go to and funny enough we kept thinking she was going to walk in. i said to her other bestie that i could have quite happily had a drink today but i know Rhonda would have told me "not to be so fecking stupid", as i always think now if it had bought her back to us then i would happily have had a drink but it wont. I did catch up with some old friends and we had some great memories of "back in the day" but i just miss her.

My kids have been very supportive which has been great, lots of cuddles and just letting me cry and talk. Tomorrow is another day and i am having a ME blankie cave day.

take care xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've hear about that book, Wags - I think the author has a loyal following of people who she has lead out of the abyss. She may have a website.

It is awesome not to 'want', isn't it? I feel totally indifferent to alcohol these days. I was reading about how the diabetes/weight-loss drugs on the market like ozempic and munjaro are reducing addictions in those who take it. They describe finding themselves drinking less (in addition to eating less) and habits such a nail-biting reduce or stop. Maybe some medical help is actually on the horizon!

I hope your dad is in a better state, now. Emotional rollercoasters are so tough for everyone and I know seeing someone you love so confused and scared is just heartbreaking.

Lav, that needing to move stuff is stopping me from replacing carpeting that was put in in 1987 :egad:! The owners at the time must have bought really good stuff because although it shows wear, it really isn't that bad. However, the formerly beige walls are now light gray and the rooms would look MUCH better with grayish carpeting. Maybe in the fall. I should get Kensho in hear to motivate me!!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - glad your cornea is stable. Sounds like you must have a great specialist if they're worth an hour drive! Hope the week is starting off well for you and your family.

A very productive day in Wagland. Two friends went with me to my dad's storage unit and we pulled every single box, bin and item of furniture out. I then went through every single item and sorted into Donate, Keep, and Unsure/Deal With Later categories. By the time we finished, about half of the contents of this medium-sized storage unit were loaded onto my friends flatbed truck and taken to a thrift store that benefits refugee families, most of whom arrive here (or wherever they land) with nothing but what they're wearing or able to carry. There's a lot more to go through and I need to repeat this same culling process with my own stuff, but it was a fab start and I feel a bit of weight off my shoulders.

I also came across a book called This Naked Mind. Maybe it has been discussed here before and I just didn't realize it. It's written by a woman who was imprisoned by her own drinking and the fact that she could not control it. There's a point where she says, "Now I drink as much as I want, whenever I want." That sounds like it doesn't fit with this group - maybe more of a moderator - but her real point is that she drinks zero and never, and that those amounts and frequencies are truly reflective of her complete lack of "want" for drinking.

Has anyone else read this book? I'm just in the early pages but finding it interesting so far. I'll update again after I've read at least half or finished the whole thing.

Have good nights and Tuesdays everyone - catch you next time!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Wags, glad yesterday was better for you, hope today was good as well. You’re doing a great job supporting your Dad & your wife while doing everything else :hug:

It was nice here, had to travel an hour to get to the eye specialist who is keeping his eyes on my scarred cornea. It’s stable, thank goodness.

I have to finish removing odds & ends from the rooms the carpet cleaners will be attacking tomorrow. I’ll be happy when all this is done.
I hope everyone is doing OK & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all,

A bit better day in Wagland today. I'll never compromise my quit, but I could really use a break from things being hard. I'll check in more fully tomorrow after a good night's sleep.

Take care and happy new weeks to you all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was a nice day here but we spent most of it moving furniture & belongings out of the way for carpet cleaners coming 8 am on Tuesday. We’ve decided we are too old for all this moving & packing & unpacking, Lol.

Wags, I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed right now. Please remember your Dad is in good hands, they’ll get to the bottom of what’s troubling him. I sure hope they get him started on some psych meds too which would stop these episodes. Was he running any fever or c/o any pain?
I think we all agree, this situation sucks but we also know that drinking will not resolve anything. Get some fresh air, take a long ride, do whatever you have to do to get a change of perspective. Your quit is precious, needs constant care :hug:
Glad to hear your wife is doing well, that’s great news!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe Night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - sounds like you and your plants are enjoying fairly good weather!

NS - It's nice you're able to feel weekends as special through those around you.

Rough day here. I went to see my dad, and at first was ecstatic because he was out in the main room socializing with the other residents. He got up when he saw me come in, and we walked to his room. He was using his transport wheelchair as a walker, and I noticed he had a paper grocery bag with an odd assortment of stuff on the seat of the chair. I asked him what all that stuff was and he said, "it's what I'm taking with me." From there things went south very quickly. He was having an episode of delirium, and was convinced that we were at his place of employment and that he'd been fired. Lots of elaborate details. He was, in his words, distraught.

It's so heartbreaking to see that he's so upset about things that aren't even really happening. I talked with the caregiver on duty on my way out and we each shared what we'd seen & heard over the course of the day. We both suspect another UTI, so they will get ahold of the on-call nurse and run a UA tomorrow. It's weird to say I hope my dad has a UTI, but the alternative would be far worse so that's what I hope right now.

Sigh.

This fvkking sucks. To be totally honest, if I didn't love my quit so fiercely, I would be tempted to drink. But I know myself and allowing one day of drinking would never be the end of it and I am absolutely NOT willing to pay that price just cuz things are hard and very uncomfortable. I'm grateful to feel how Steadfast (thanks for the word Steady ) I feel with my quit.

On a brighter note, my wife's surgery went very well and she's not in too much pain.

Hope you all are having good weekends and that if parts of your lives suck right now too, that you're fiercely in love with your selves and your quits enough to protect them with all your might.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Well the rain never arrived. The clouds parted to reveal some afternoon sun, go figure
Staying outside until my allergies get the best of me, Lol

NS, like you everyone who knows me knew I had some AL issue but they also know that it was resolved 14 years ago. So I don’t see any point in discussing it with them, they wouldn’t completely undertstand anyway. It’s OK & also the reason I stay put here in these parts. Hope your weekend is going well.

Wags, hope everyone in Wagland is doing OK, including you :hug:

Hard to believe Memorial Day weekend is almost here. Not sure if I should make any plans because it would mean a lot of extra work for me haha. My daughter & her family are tied up with installing a brand new kitchen in their very old house (been there & done that a few times myself). My son could very well be working, the FD never gets a day off.
Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

Happy weekend! Even though I'm retired, weekends still seem special - I guess b/c there's no work or school for others.

I hope your wife's hand heals quickly and that your dad is doing well, Wags.
When do you leave on your trip, Kensho?
Ava, you are one of those with so many beings you are responsible for it is really hard to imagine you ever being addicted! It is cool to see who we all can become once we break free.
Lav, I hope you are sharing the gorgeous weather we are having here and you can be out in it.
Steady, I don't have any in person friends who know my 'whole story'. I'm glad I have all of you :hug:

It is a full family weekend around here. So grateful not to be sneaking around!!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick sober check-in tonight. Hope you had a fun dinner with your friend Steady!

Hellos and waves to Lav, NS, Ava, and everyone else stopping by the nest.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still mostly sunny & dry here, it’s been a nice week. I guess we will be seeing some rain tomorrow &that’s OK.

Wags, glad to hear the surgery went well. Here’s to a smooth healing process
Hope your weekend is peaceful.

Steady, good to see you & I hope you enjoyed dinner with your old friend. It’s so nice to have someone in our lives who knows us (warts & all) but still loves us Lol

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Lav, that's good your new plants were spared the frost. I have jonquils coming up at the moment, I love to go out and see the growth in the morning!

Wags, your Dad must have loved the dog visit. Pets are a great idea, bringing colour and cheer. Hope it's a smooth recovery for your wife with her hand.

NS, glad you're enjoying some Spring weather. I remember my grandmother came to live with us briefly before going into a care home. She had dementia, and it was difficult. But dementia wasn't so talked about back in the late seventies, and I thought her situation was unusual rather than common. It certainly didn't occur to me that either of my parents (let alone both) would be afflicted.

Kensho, you sound busy but balanced. It's good you're getting some relaxation time in between travel planning tasks.

Ava, good to hear you're looking after yourself too. When I was working I used to leave it too late to take mental health leave, so that the stress made me incapable of doing anything at all on the weekend (besides drinking, when that was still on the agenda.) Definitely, I would love to do coffee with you sometime. :happy2: Will text you when I'm going to be over that way. Hope your daughter's ok.

Well am off to meet a friend for dinner now. He's someone I used to work with, a gay guy, and we like to joke that we're a couple We've shared a lot, and have supported each other for over twenty years.

Happy Friday and enjoy your AF weekend everyone,

Steadfast xo

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - sorry to hear about your daughter's break-up. I don't think those ever feel good, especially when one person cheats or is dishonest. I'm sure she's glad to have your support and company, and she almost certainly understands you've got some hard stuff on your mind and heart right now. Good job arranging to have the week off work - that's some fantastic self-care.

Lav - good to see you and hope the sunny weather continues for you


My wife's surgery went smoothly and now begins the healing. Hopefully she'll have so much pain relief down the line that it will all be worth it.

Happy Friday's everyone!