Newbies Nest

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Beautiful sunny day here.

Lav, so glad you got through the wild tornado weather unscathed. I hope you have lots of sunshine now!

Wags, good to hear your strong resolve in this sad & trying time, that you "can't and won't" drink. Amen to that! It broke my heart seeing my Dad get so confused and bereft. On one of our slow walks around the nursing-home one day he turned to me and said, "I keep seeing things that need fixing but I can't find my tools!" He always was a "Mr Fixit", and losing that part of himself was tough. I hope, Wags, that you are able to sort out some good care for your Dad, I wish you the best :hug:

Ava, I love hearing about your dogs' antics. The way you describe it makes me see it as a cartoon in my mind, hilarious! I hope your Mum's doing better now. If you haven't already, it's good to get an 'aged care assessment' done as early as possible. That way there's hopefully less wait for services, including home care.

Hi Kensho. Yup, I sometimes have the thought that "this would have been a drinking night". So glad I am now dealing with life's ups and downs in a sober and measured way. Much less complicated, and frees me up to enjoy all the good time.

N.S, so you're culling stuff too. I like the psychologoical boost I get from "decluttering", it helps me think clearer (!) and feel more in control. It's good to read about crafters. I've just enrolled in knitting classes for winter. Time I might've spent at the pub or boozing at home I'll be in a knitting circle. That makes me laugh.

Hi to everyone else, stay well,
Steady x

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Calm & sunny day here today after the wild weekend weather. Grateful for that.

Wags, I’m sorry to hear about your Dad. It’s so hard watching them deteriorate like that. The hospital social worker is instrumental in finding placement for people, you should hear from them soon. If not be sure to reach out to them. You can also go online to search nursing homes in your area. Thinking of you & take care of yourself :hug:

NS, this is a hard time of life when we see our parents going downhill. All four of our parents are gone now, we somehow got through it all.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm so sorry, Wags. What you are dealing with is really tough in so many ways. I hope you get help identifying the best place for him to be. The state of elder care in our country is abysmal, putting the burden on the family like it does. We will be thinking of you. xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - glad you're safe.

NS - here's hoping that this week's weather passes more gently across those states.


Sigh, my dad's back in the hospital. I can't go into the whole story (nor do you want to hear it) but around 5:30am this morning it became clear that either the UTI has come raging back or some other mental instability has been triggered. I spent 11 hours in the ER with him until they could finally get a bed and admit him. I'm so sad watching how he's struggling. It's breaking my heart. There's nothing like seeing your own parent cry and become rather helpless. The biggest thing is it has become clear that he cannot safely live with us anymore and I will have to scramble to get help finding a good place. It sucks. I would love to drink and escape all of this, and I absolutely CANNOT and WILL NOT.

Take care everyone

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

A couple of hours spent in the basement is a small price to pay for the feeling of safety. No tornado here but it did hit in Delaware, a neighboring state just to the south. I see there was plenty of wind damage in Maryland too also a close neighbors. We were lucky & I’m grateful. Nice & sunny today of course

Wags, thinking of you & I totally understand being pissed at your brother. Mine was useless too & he lived much closer than the other two brothers. It’s hard to make plans considering your Dad’s mental status. Is there any chance that he had a small stroke when he was hospitalized? Maybe you can bring that subject up with his medical provider. Sometimes just the infections themselves cause the confusion but usually clears when the infection does. I hope you can find some help with your questions. Take care :hug:

Ava, glad to hear all your furkids are doing well, that’s a relief. I have my house in a big mess right now too packing up the entire kitchen for the cabinet painters coming on the 5th. Throwing away a good bit too, haha!

NS, nice to hear your husband is paying attention LOL
I picked up a bunch of dog & cat treats before going to the basement so they all just followed me haha!

All good here so I’ll wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sounds like you missed the tornado, Lav, but sadly Delaware did not. There was one slightly north of us but I don't think it was especially bad. However, other midwest states did not fare so well and the challenging news is that this Tuesday has the same rather dire forecast. I'm glad to have a basement but our dog won't go down the stairs and she would be hard for me to carry. I probably can do it if I have to.

I'm sorry you don't have more support, Wags. Despite that, it sounds like you are handling the situation really well. :hug:

Good to see you, Ava. Your multi-cooker appliance sounds interesting. I've been culling my kitchen of single-use items. I've also been culling knick-knacks, fancy dishes and serving pieces, linens, etc. My husband is concerned that perhaps people are next...

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - sure hope you're safe and sound! A tornado just destroyed the apt of the daughter of one of my facebook friends. She literally saved her own life by hiding in an interior closet. Her apt building looked like a bomb had hit, and her car was totaled too. The danger is real, so you just stay in that basement until the all clear signal.

NS - I'm relieved every time I pop downstairs and see my dad napping. I agree that's when he's safest and most comfortable, and I definitely worry the least. The hardest part for me right now is that one minute he seems "ok" and sometimes just a few minutes later he's not. It's hard to know how best to proceed or to make a plan. I'm hoping that will become clearer after a few more days or weeks of healing/recovery. I really wish my brother wasn't useless because it would help a lot to be able to talk things through with him AND get some concrete help. I'm not generally an angry person but I'm pretty pissed off at him right now. Old me definitely would have drank AT him. But as you said, that would not have been a way to be the adult in the room and it would for sure make things much harder.

Ava - glad your furkids are all doing so well. Carl will be much better off after he fully heals, so good on you for saying no to zoomies just yet. Don't let the disarray in your house discourage you - one step or chunk at a time and you'll get it all done.


Hellos and waves everyone. Hope you're all having safe and sober weekends.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Lav, i hope you are safe. I just look at the tv in disbelief when i see what the destruction is that a tornado brings. it is so heartbreaking to see. We dont get tornadoes here although we do get cyclones in other regions of Australia.

Hi Techie, glad to see you pop in, i keep up to date with your exercise antics (lol) on the army thread, i hope you are keeping well.

Wags, that is so stressful for you and knowing there is nothing you can do but be there which is the most important part.

NS, hope the painting has finished for you. how is your dad now? is he still at home?

Kensho, when you said "tonight would be a drinking night", every night was a drinking night for me. i do remember back in the day i had a specific day that i would drink (when the kids were little) and each week i would drink on that day, i think it was a Tuesday as that was the quietest day of the week. Wish i had of realised then that i was headed for bigger things!

I have been pottering today, daylight savings ended last night so the dogs were up early this morning. I am ready for my nap but have made a casserole in my pressure cooker which is a slow cooker, rice cooker, yoghurt maker, cake maker, all of which i wont use. started to go through my drawers in the bedroom, i need a big cull. two drawers of stockings, well i would have needed them if i was going into work 5 days a week but not now. i start on something and then move on, house looks like a bomb hit it but i will get there eventually. no rush.

Fur babies all doing well, finally Bindi's diabetes is under control, she would still eat the floor boards if i had any and she can sniff the other dogs food a mile off. Gucci is still going ok with her cancer, she has good days and not so good days, the cbd oil helps a lot. Carl has one more week before he can start being more active. Bob wants to play zoomies with him in the back yard and carl thinks its a great idea, mmmm, me not so much yet.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,

Just wanted to take a moment to say Hello. We are currently in the basement waiting out a tornado warning. I just can’t take these things lightly after seeing what’s happened down south & the mid-west.
Hope to be back tomorrow for a proper chat.

Be safe in the nest one and all!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Wags, I have had so many experiences over the last 10 years where I've had that exact thought- there's no way I could do this if I were still drinking. It makes me wonder how I handled things in the 10 years of addicted drinking before I quit and I've decided that I probably really didn't. I think I probably ignored a lot of things and when I was involved, was definitely not the adult in charge. Worse yet, I may have contributed to the problem. Isn't it great to have those days behind us?!?!

Highway dancing sounds much better than drinking, Kensho, and I bet your openness with your daughter is good for both of you. Maybe it will make it easier to share some uncomfortable things with you.

My dad was concerned about the hours that my mom slept, Wags, but if they are at ease during sleep, it seems to me that is the body doing what it needs to do. The more time he can be at peace, whether awake or asleep, the better for him, I think. And better for you not to worry about him being confused, bored, angry, or agitated.

Lav, I've got some projects to do because we've had the downstairs repainted and now need some differently colored accessories. So, the fabric hunt is on...

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - great to see you. I love that you chose music and dancing instead of drinking (of course you did cuz you don't drink). You sound very busy and I hope you're able to get that giant wordle solved!

NS - I love hearing about the crafts that you and Lav and others do. I'm not crafty at all but my mom and grandma both were and I have fond feelings for hand-made things.

Techie - glad to see you stopping by!

Lav - My dad isn't in any pain and he doesn't seem anxious anymore (pre-hospital yes, or maybe more like agitated). It's more that he's confused but inconsistently. Like tonight I heated up some leftover pizza that my wife made specially for him the first night he was back home. When I told him she had made it, he seemed to totally understand and said "please tell her it was delicious". This is very similar to how he used to be. But just a minute or two later he asked, "Do I have a family?" and my heart broke just a tiny bit. He has been sleeping a TON, like about 20 of the 24 hours in each of the last few days. I'm hoping he's just exhausted and his body is working hard to get over the infection. But I honestly don't know what version of him will be here when this has passed, and the roller coaster is pretty draining for me. I have to mostly think one day at a time (hey, that sounds familiar!) and not get too caught up in trying to figure everything out now.


There's no effing way I could drink and survive this chapter of my life. I guess that's a bright side!

Take care everyone.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

HIYA Nest. I'm still breathing and working my butt off - had a frustrating day of trying and trying and not making actual progress. I actually said to my daughter tonight, "If I was still drinking, it would be a drinking night". I'm not sure why I told her that. But I did feel it. Instead, I put on some dance music and we danced down the highway. It helped. Now I'm going to try to get a couple drawings figured out. I struggle with the creative process at times. It's like a 25-wordle (not quordle) for each room - so many pieces that have to fit together. I probably overthink it.

Anyhow, sorry to hear about your dad Wags. That must be really stressful, on top of an already full life that you have. Your love for him is evident, and I am sending good vibes your way! Take care of you!

Steady - you sound so balanced and happy. Love to hear that tone in your voice!

Hi Ava. I "nag" too, evidently, but about food. My kids eat terribly and they don't want to know the truth about the crap they consume. I'm all for "live a little"... but you can tell when someone WANTS to be in denial.

Lav, keep the good life going... I'm so glad you got sober and are always here. I feel so comforted by your words. Thank you for that.

Hi NS!

OK... I know it's Friday night, but I am not sure how everything is going to get done. So I'm going to put in a solid 30 min. then call it quits.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Honestly NS, it was never my intention to scare anyone away, bore them half to death maybe :allgood:
Waiting for another weekend of rain here so I guess I’ll get back to the indoor projects & that’s OK.

Wags, thinking of you & hope you are managing. OK. Is your Dad in any pain or is it more of an anxiety thing going on with him? Don’t be afraid to reach out to for help, it’s out there, you just need to speak up :hug:

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hang in there, Wags, and remember to take care of YOU as well as you're taking care of your dad. xx

Thanks for stopping by, Techie. We need all the visitors we can get to keep this thread alive!!

Well, Lav, we could talk about our crafting here but we might scare away even more nesters :haha:.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks to all for the ongoing support. Just a quick sober check-in for me tonight. I'm exhausted!