100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Byrdlady]

This whole getting sober thing has been such a learning experience. It goes to show us that we are never too old to learn.
I had a good day, I washed and ironed the stuff I am taking on vacation in less than 2 weeks. Havent had a vacation since 2004! I remember fretting about having enough booze and not being able to carry on as much as I wanted to. Very stressful. Plus while ON vacation, trying to sneak it so hubs wouldnt see me. I always encouraged him to go get ice, or go take pictures! I am so glad to have those chains off me. This time, my biggest worry is what shoes to take!
Hope everyone is having a peaceful day. Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Long Termers!
Hope everyone is having a happy weekend. Finally some sunshine here.

As I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking about the incredible power of this addiction. As I read around, I see just how the allure sucks us right back in to the cliffs. It is scary on several levels....to see it happen to others who have put in the hard work of breaking free AND to know that it could happen to me.

I know I still have work to do!
I must stay connected with a like-minded community of people and I must never take that first drink. Its as simple and as complicated as that.

Im not a huge Oprah fan, but when she did interviews with famous people, she would ask 'What do you know for sure ?' Ive always thought about that and maybe I have finally come up with an answer: I don't have to learn everything the hard way. Many people have come and gone on this website. There are 7 years of rich history to be gleamed in the archives here. 7 years of people fighting to control AL. I have never seen anyone do it. Addiction is just too powerful. Once ignited, it is alive and well....yes, its just like riding a bicycle, you never forget how to be addicted. It scares the spit out of me just how easily it does come back. If you are considering reintroducing AL after a period of being AF, I would urge you to read back on this site and see how it went for 1000's of others who tried it. See if there is anyone who has maintained long term moderation, or just the occasional glass here and there. Long term = longer than a few weeks or months, it means for the rest of our lives. Seeing is believing, and I have never seen it.
If I COULD do it, I wouldn't. I am DONE.
I think my luck has run out as it relates to AL....I never got a DWI or lost my job or suffered a financial loss, but I was in the team photo. I was beginning to suffer health issues and my hubs walked out on me. Thats as close as I want to come to disaster. The next time I flirt with this stuff that nearly cost me everything MIGHT very well be my last. Im not willing to gamble with my future for the sake of a dam drink of AL.
Life is measured by the people and places we know, not by whats in our glass.

This message is for ME. It isnt aimed at anyone...I just wanted to get it out of my head.
MindPeace, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Maybe you're posting for yourself, Byrdie, but some of us are fortunate enough to be traveling in your wake, with you making it easier for us. Thank you :hug:.

[Samstone]

So there's another 100 dayer out there... Rooniferd come on in here!!

[Byrdlady]

I know, Sam, I have been looking for her!
Hope everyone has a good week! A busy week here...going on vacation next week! My first one in 11 years! I am ready!
Byrdie

[jane27]

Byrdie,

Thanks so much for your post. I am copy and pasting it into my journal. I am so grateful for you. xoxo
ps Where are you going for vaca?

[Byrdlady]

Going to Providence, RI, then around Boston and Nantucket! Never been that far north before! Thank you for the kind words, NS and Jane! Hugs, B

[Lavande]

Hey Byrdie, you could stop in & see me, Sam & jane on your way north, ha ha!!!!
You take vacations about as often as I do!! I hope you have a wonderful time

I am taking my granddaughter & daughter to the beach for a couple of days this week, just like we did last year.
I hope I don't come home to find any more surprises...last year YB decided to move back in while I was away, LOL

Let's all keep the mindpeace going

[Byrdlady]

Lav, I remember that trip last year! Wow, what a year it's been for you! I am really looking forward to getting away. The job is just wearing my down to a nub (sorry Jane, pencil joke!) and I need to recharge!
I am so grateful for my life now....an in no small part, because of you! You taught me the skills I needed to cope with LIFE. You taught me GRATITUDE. You taught me the importance of support and being with like-minded folk. I learned to say NO. Did you hurt my feelings sometimes? You sure did, but you told me the truth, which is exactly what I needed. Like Ava says, I didn't come here for beauty tips, I came here to get (and stay) sober.
As I prepare for this trip next week, I have no anxiety about staying sober...in fact, I am relieved to BE sober. Thank you for all these gifts that I was too blind to recognize when I relied on AL for my feelings. Hope you have a stellar (Stella!!) day!!! xoxoxo, Byrdie

[Samstone]

Come on by Byrdie!

[Byrdlady]

Sam, I will wave from 30,000 feet! Gosh, if we had decided to drive, I could have met a bunch of nesters along the way!!

Cowboy had a great post in the nest yesterday. It's about taking that first drink. What a great analogy of jumping off the cliff, we are pretty sure what the outcome will be, just a matter of how quickly it happens.

I was perusing a thread last night from many years back. It is so sad to see than so many are still fighting the same battles today. I fought it with everything I had for a year before I finally saw the writing on the wall. That year nearly cost me everything I value. When I look back at the importance I placed on having a drink....it's downright scary. For whatever the reason...to fit in? Pffft....who cares about that? To relax? It made me anxious! To enjoy an occasion? How blind is that? What's in my glass does not define the experience. AL improves nothing, and to place THAT much power in it is scary. Today, I can raise a glass with the best of them, and toast to the occasion! There is not a rule saying that you must drink AL during a toast (baby showers everywhere would be affected!)

As I read that thread last night I was struck by two things: The importance we (as Alkies) place on AL (to the exclusion of ALL else) and the sheer power of this addiction.

I guess the strength of our website here is to learn from others. I am so glad there is such a wealth of information here to reference. People here have tried absolutely EVERY approach. It is, indeed, My Way Out. For me, leaving AL behind was the best decision I've ever made. I feel like I have moved on and even outgrown the need for it. However, I must always stay connected and vigilant. I'm one drink away from the whole cycle again, and that scares me straight. AL did me no favors, never has and it never will.

MindPeace,
Byrdie

[Myluck]

Hi all - today is 19 months exactly that I am AF. Not that this makes a big difference 19 or 24 or 3055. Same great feeling of being sober. Enjoying life, feeling it, savoring every moment. We are on vacation in NC Hatteras right now. Another AF vacation that is awesome. I just read Byrd lady's post - great wisdom - thank you. AL addiction is very strong and we all should be very proud of overcoming it. My husband is still going strong, I am still going strong with my daily yoga practice (omg I miss it on vacation :sad love you and miss you all ❤️❤️❤️

[jane27]

Congrats My Luck! I'm just a little bit behind you...xo

[NoSugar]

Good to see you MyLuck and congratulations on 19 months! I'm so happy for you that your husband is doing well, too. Your lives must be so dramatically different than they were a couple years ago! You're vacationing in such a nice area - we used to go to the outer banks and loved them.

I guess the strength of our website here is to learn from others. I am so glad there is such a wealth of information here to reference. People here have tried absolutely EVERY approach. It is, indeed, My Way Out. For me, leaving AL behind was the best decision I've ever made. I feel like I have moved on and even outgrown the need for it. However, I must always stay connected and vigilant. I'm one drink away from the whole cycle again, and that scares me straight. AL did me no favors, never has and it never will.

This place worked for me, Byrdie, because for once I was able to leave my ego behind, admit I had a problem I couldn't solve, ask what felt to me like very embarrassing questions, really consider the answers I got, and put what seemed reasonable and possible into practice. No one in my real life knew the extent of my problem because I hid it and never talked about it. My lies were ones of omission. That was the other key element here: somehow I realized I had to tell the complete truth. I vowed that if I chose to drink, I would honestly tell MWO that I'd done it, how often, and how much. I also was determined not to make what I was going through seem any harder or easier than it actually was. By being truthful to all of you, I knew I would finally be being honest with myself. All the sneaking around and denying I had done in my real life helped me minimize the extent of the problem in my own mind. But it seemed to me that an online website with a bunch of strangers couldn't possibly work unless I was totally honest -- if I omitted the bad stuff here, it would be the same situation as in my real life where everyone thought that NoSugar pretty much had everything in her life under control. And so it would go on and on with me living a lie - which really felt more like just existing, not living.

I guess I don't feel "scared straight". To drink at this point just seems like such a bad decision. I do sometimes think that I could have the occasional drink now and then and maybe I could... but why do it? I know it's a toxic carcinogen. I know that is messes up my blood sugar. I know that it could reactivate the cycle of addiction. I know that it can lead to dangerous behavior. I know I can function very happily and well without it. I know how to relax without it. There are many beverages that taste better and have no side effects. I no longer see any benefit to consuming it so have no reason to reintroduce it and take the risk (which cannot be calculated for an individual so why gamble?) of letting my life go back to how it was - miserable and at the mercy of the demands of an addiction.

I finally found that MindPeace you so often refer to - I'm not about to let that go.

Thanks for giving me something to think about. NS

[Byrdlady]

Thank you, NS. The lies of omission....aye, aye, aye....I also wrote the book on those (see chapter on hiding vodka in a hairspray bottle!)

MyLuck, congratulations on 19 big months!!! That's something you don't see every day!!
:llama: GREAT JOB on sticking with this lifestyle change. I always knew you had superpowers! Great to see you! B