I don't want to be totally AF......,

[actiongirl46]

Hi all -
Frances, how did the last session with the homeless group go? Did you have a big take-away? My sons haven't started on the "girl" stuff here at this house yet which is just fine with me. I hate to say this but I think I did the exact same thing when I was your daughter's age . . . good luck!!

[frances]

Hey there all - Stewart I work in management and I have managed to get along without participating in politics or games - but I'm not at the highest levels. I don't think I will be there because I hate that sort of thing.

You guys have me wanting to try Vitamin water!

Nothing much happening here this weekend - one more morning volunteering at our church - I really am fond of these guys and I'm sure all of us that have been helping out will miss them and surely do wish them all the best - it has been interesting and enlightening.

I'm taking my son to an interview for a scholarship at his school this afternoon. I don't have to drive far and I think it will be a very good experience for him, regardless of the outcome.

Having some issues with my teenage daughter wanting to do things my husband and I don't agree with - specifically, talking with a senior 'boy' (my daughter is a sophomore). 'talking' is what they call the thing that precedes dating. She told me this morning that they know it doesn't make sense to go out because he's going away to college but she says they have a lot in common and she really likes talking to him. I'm not sure how to handle it or even if there's much I can do other than offer my opinion. I can tell her we don't want her to see him and she really doesn't have much of a way to see him anyway. But who knows if she's really going to listen. Ugh.

[actiongirl46]

Stewarts you inspired me to buy a case of Vitamin water. Good stuff.

What's going on this weekend? Frances? Blue?

Not much here which is nice.

[Stewarts]

Thanks I know

Hi Stewarts good to see you. I love how you supported her . . . that's probably what she really needed, just you there and making her feel safe. good job!

Yeah, there's a lot going on. She works for one of the Big Four and in that world you can feel under appreciated, undervalued, and underpaid, even though it's considerably higher than what people in most of the country make, ironically.

In that world, little weasels that play the game tend to get ahead, as well as sociopaths. She's a mild mannered Midwesterner. I grew up in New York, so I don't know any better, but politics, ass kissing, I just can't deal with - it;s why I chose the career path I did, despite the stress of it, and it's why I even left the place I never thought I'd leave several years ago - it became just that. Ironically, I think I'd do better now dealing in that world, but whatever... as "peculiar" as they are, I like the people I work with now.

Man I love Vitamin Water.

haha

Best,

j.

[actiongirl46]

Hi Stewarts good to see you. I love how you supported her . . . that's probably what she really needed, just you there and making her feel safe. good job!

[Stewarts]

it's good to see everyone is doing so well. I'm pretty much the same. I'm modding ok, then I have like a night where I have one too many, meaning to feel crappy the next day, not stupidly drunk or anything like that. My fiance was having a rough day yesterday. All I wanted to do was go home and go for a run, but she had a happy hour thing to go to. I asked if she wanted me to go and stay over. She didn't drink that much, but because she was already upset. She was really upset when we got home. It was a little unsettling, but not that bad. She is feeling marriage stress, work stress, etc. She apologized in the morning. I said it was ok and not that big of a deal, because I truly feel that. She asked if I was hungover. I said, "no." because I didn't feel that. Now I feel a little sluggish. I've been having situations where I can drink light beer like water and really not feel much. Which is ok, but not healthy feeling. I like how you guys figured out how to quantify your drinking. I think that's what I need. I used to be pretty good at it. Now I kind of go with the flow. I think part of it is getting older too. We weren't out late, by any means, which is probably like, "eh, I'll be fine." haha.

My fiance says she doesn't want to drink - she was never a big drinker to start off with, especially when she's moody and not feeling well. Not to be stereotypcally, but we are all adults, she does get really moody around her "lady time" of the month... couple that with work and wedding stress... it's not pleasant watch, because she get so sad.

[frances]

Hi again - morning check in here! No AG I haven't read "Under the Overpass" but it sounds good - thanks for the tip I think I will check it out!

[actiongirl46]

Thanks Frances. I so appreciate your support. I need to settle on some goals real soon. I would like to get my 30 days in . . . I think that will be the goal.

That is so cool that your church is willing to support people for a week. What a commitment! Have you read "Under the Overpass" by Mike Yankoski? The author and a friend went undercover as homeless in several cities for about a year. Very interesting read.

Hey Blue, how are things?? What's new on the job front?

Even as I go for the 30 days this month, I'll keep posting here. I like hanging with you guys : )

[frances]

That's great that your thinking seems to be changing! And 70% AF days is sure a whole lot better than none! I'll be rooting for you to reach your goals :happy2:

My church is housing homeless people overnight each night this week - I was there Sunday evening helping out and going back several times this week including this evening. The group is all men, and I was saddened by all of it but for some reason especially those that were so young. That took me by surprise. I don't know all of their stories but several are alcoholics and there was a lot of talk about making sure they're not drinking because sometimes that's when some get belligerent. This is the first time my church has done this but there is a group of local churches that do this every year all winter long (each church does one week) -it's really nice, they get picked up at a food place and then come to the church for a hot dinner, sleep, and breakfast and can take a packed lunch out for their day out. They are a very nice, pleasant, and grateful group - it was so nice to be there and I'm looking forward to the rest of the week.

[actiongirl46]

Thanks Frances . . . lots of good things to think about. One thing I have noticed in racking up so many AF days (for me) since December is that I no longer think about or dread the "witching" hour. I used to get antsy around 4:30 or 5pm . . . now 99% of the time I don't think about it. I'm grateful for that.

I did my numbers for Jan/Feb. and I was at 70% AF days for the two months. I feel "meh" about that. On the one hand, happy for so many, on the other hand, for my own goals, I'd like to do better. Fortunately, it is a new day and a new month today.

Take care all!

[frances]

Good morning!

Yes, AG, I do believe that the 9 months AF had a lot to do with my being able to abstain so much now and to not have AL thinking take over. There are two things that I've often thought have contributed to my success now: first, the 9 months abstaining, which allowed me to really break my daily habit - I remember somewhere about 3 months into it when after a stressful day when driving home I started thinking about the nice cup of tea I would have when I got home instead of thinking about wine as I had done for so many years previously. I was surprised. The additional time, I think, engrained that further. The second thing is that I don't drink often at all now. In the past when I went back to drinking and tried to moderate I would go right back to drinking multiple times a week. A little less frequent but within the moderating guidelines. Each time, that just took me right back to where I was before. I think that now, because I drink so much less frequently, I don't get back into that old habit again.

I know for sure that this is unusual and there are many (if not most) cases of people who abstained for a long time (year or longer), and as soon as they drank again went right back downhill to where they were before.

Long story short is YES I do strongly feel that a long time AF is needed to break those physical and mental habits. For me 9 months seemed to be enough to do that so of course my mindset is that it shouldn't be much less than that.

[actiongirl46]

Happy anniversary Blue!! 35 years, wow, that is awesome. What a milestone.

Frances, I am so happy for you! Great job on setting up a way to track your success. I also like that you don't think about it. Do you credit that to your 9 months AF? Nice work, keep sharing and keep it up!

[frances]

Hi Blue and everyone!

Happy Anniversary Blue! Wow - 35 years - that's incredible. Truly. Through thick and thin. Wonderful! The hogie sounds delicous too! Yum!

Yesterday was my 2 year anniversary being successful with my battle with AL. 9 months AF and 1 year 3 months moderating. I've mentioned before that I track every time I drink...it was ~7% of the days in the past 1 year and 3 months. And the majority of those times was one drink, and then sometimes 2. I have had 3 on just a couple of occasions when it was a long event. Never drunk or hungover, not once in 2 years. Wow! I don't know why it is working for me and I feel truly blessed. I have a completely different 'feel' about alcohol - I rarely think about it. As I've said before, I know from where I have come, and so I still stay cautious and mindful and I realize this may not last but I'm satisfied with where I am right now. I just wanted to mark the occasion :sohappy:

Hope you all have a great weekend!

[blue1]

Happy Friday all!

Your panels sound very pretty Frances!

Yesterday was me and hubby's 35th going together anniversary....we had hoagies from this very popular spot. I had mushroom cheese steak....delish!
Sometimes it shocks me that I have been with him since I was 15!

Hope everybody is having a successful day!!!

[actiongirl46]

That sounds great! I am such a minimalist as far as decorating. I hardly have anything up in over nine years . . . but always big plans in my head! Oh well.

I am right back in the swing of things here at home. Thanks Blue for reminding me not to wallow around feeling sorry for myself. There's certainly no time for that. I still feel like I am much stronger and learning so much. I agree, I am all right, at least today : )

Off to bed, another early and busy day tomorrow - AG