I don't want to be totally AF......,

[frances]

Hi all! Happy for you Blue - great job staying AF!

The rest of my weekend was OK. Got to sort through some old papers that were cluttering up my home office. Still a lot to be done but that helped.

I was thinking today and a couple other times lately that I feel like I'm a bore. Then I read your post AG and thought - you feel like you could drink from boredom...I feel like I could drink from being boring! Am I more fun when drinking? So many people posting on facebook about their alcohol provisions for the snow storm we just got. And I talked to my best friend who told me how much she had stocked up. Two years ago that would have been me! And in fact, it was me, and I think it was a contributing factor to me finally having enough! I remember having snow days and drinking them away. And then feeling terrible for a couple of days after that. Ah the 2-3 day hangover. I don't miss that! But was I more fun then? I don't think so. The rational me knows I wasn't.

I don't know what I'm thinking....sitting at home with my husband and kids - I don't think drinking is going to make me more fun! But I do feel like I am not as much fun lately. I think I need to push to get us to socialize more. That will be a real test for me.

Feeling blah but I'm sure it will pass. Sorry to ramble.

Hope everyone else is good!

[blue1]

Happy Monday Guys!
Just checking in....didn't sleep last night...but I did get a nap this morning. I will be keeping my daughter's two children tonight.
You're doing awesome AG!!!
Hope everybody is having a successful day!:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

[actiongirl46]

Hey Blue, nice job. I hear you about football, ugh, personally I prefer basketball or baseball. Thanks also for the advice, I'm not going to be too tough on myself or that will be really bad.

I had a good day today. I realized I needed to get out this afternoon and so I ran some errands. I was aware of the AV lurking but just ignored it. Not happening for me today.

Boredom is a huge trigger for me!! Hang in there

Frances, how was the rest of your weekend? Stew? Jersey Girl?

I'm oddly excited to be in bed early and hope to get a good nights sleep to tackle the week ahead. I need to up my exercise!! I have plateaued on the weight loss . . .

[blue1]

Another AF day for me! I purposely let the wine and spirits close....they close at 5 on Sunday. I'm feeling very bored.....hubby watching football and my son is watching football downstairs....so I've been playing memory games on my phone that I downloaded for my 6 year old granddaughter LOL. Took a break to see what is going on with you guys.

Stew....I hope you are having fun skiing
and behaving yourself lol
AG....it's cool....don't be too tough on yourself.
Frances....good job on the two small glasses.
Happy Sunday to everyone reading or lurking!
Well....back to my games lol
Hope everybody is having a successful day!

[frances]

Hi all - AG hang in there. Keep an eye on things, breaking rules is a warning sign. rules do stink though, don't they? My goal has been to get to a place where I don't need rules and to be drinking on occasion only, and never overdoing it. I do think I've met that goal and that I am where I want to be, but I had to have the rules early in order to get there.

Last night I had two small glasses of red wine while watching the snowstorm. That was the first drinking since January 8. There was a bottle my husband brought home with carry out a couple of weeks ago and I didn't want it then. It was snowing and I thought a glass of red wine would be nice. It tasted good but at the same time it (surprisingly) sort of brought back feelings/memories of overdoing it and that was not a good feeling. I'm going to dump the rest of the bottle out today. Since I stopped drinking, and then started again with 'abstinence-based moderation', I have almost 100% of the time only had a drink when out or if there was company here at my house for dinner. Usually only between 0-3 times a month. Maybe there was a psychological thing last night that made me feel like I was breaking a rule. Who knows?

I'm glad you're asking about what people's goals are - I do think it's important to try to have some idea of what you want to do so you can evaluate yourself against it and try to set new habits. A vague 'cut down drinking' goal, to me, doesn't have enough definition to really see if you're succeeding and try to assess where things go wrong and don't, etc. (just my opinion).

Hi jerseygirl, blue, Stewart and anyone else out there reading - hope everyone is well!

[blue1]

Good morning guys!
AG....I've talked about most of this before you joined us....so no I don't think it's too personal lol
Well....I'm still mourning the lost of my two oldest sisters that passed 10 months a part.....when it rains or snows my roof leaks into my house like I don't have a roof and my walls are being washed away (so ugly to look at)....our car is rusted out....my hubby is a mechanic but there is nothing more he can do.....my 21 year old daughter is in an abusive relationship.....I could go on lol....but that's the stuff I think about when I'm sober and can't sleep at night. During the day I can kinda keep them at bay....but when it's quiet and still it's another story.

Hope everybody has a successful day!

[actiongirl46]

Hey Stewarts - Enjoy skiing!! Don't do anything stupid, you know what I mean : ) What do you think you will lose when you get married??? Your freedom?? I still do things with my girlfriends but I get to live with my best friend.

Hi Jersey girl . . . have a good week!

I blew it last night . . . went out to dinner and stopped to get a bottle of wine on the way home. Ugh. I only drank half but violated my rule of no AL in the house. I'm not going to beat myself up over it and am determined to just move on. Hang in there!

[Stewarts]

Hey guys, glad to see everyone is doing well. I think I saw someone mention "steps" yeah I got a fit bit too, I love this thing...hahaha. Things for me haven't really changed. I am living ok, I don't drink everyday, maybe a few times a week, but when I do, I do. last night I was at some events...good news, I knew when it was time to leave and did, although I stopped at a bar, played some music and had a few beers ??? I don;t know why, I haven't done that in a long time. I'm not beating myself up over it. I am just trying to figure out why. I think it's because I am in this limbo place of not being married yet. The planning is going on, we're not even officially engaged because I am waiting for the ring still. I think in my unconcious there's a devil saying to me, this all goes away soon, but it went away a long time ago already... LOL.. I became a comfort creature a long time ago.

Anyway, I am going skiing this weekend, without the Mrs., I will try to behave, we shall see.

j.

[jerseygirl76]

Actiongirl46; I am going to limit the alcohol I bring in the house to begin with; purchase one time and then 'that's it for the week'. Good job you're on.

[actiongirl46]

A good day for me . . . I almost got my 10,000 steps but not quite. That has been harder for me to do in the winter.

I'm still working on what my long term goals are . . . TBH, I'm just not sure yet. I do know I feel so much better with AL out of the house. No more "just one" that turns into 4-6! I just started meeting with my therapist so that should help too. For me, it will take some time.

What are yours?? Frances, it sounds like you are living yours, correct? You are exactly where you feel comfortable and want to be? Blue? What are you thinking? If this is too personal, please just pass. No worries.

I'm so glad this week is almost over as its been long!! I'm ready for the weekend and a change of pace. Take care - AG

[blue1]

Awesome job Blue . . . I hope you sleep well!

Thanks AG! I didn't go into a deep sleep until about 4am.....but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be....although I still hate being up thinking about everything that's going on in my life....it can be very uncomfortable.

Hey everyone....Hope you guys are having a successful day!

[actiongirl46]

Awesome job Blue . . . I hope you sleep well!

[blue1]

Sorry to hear you are taking a break from us TMH. I understand being in a good place. For myself, I worry about leaving just because I might forget somehow and lose all I have gained. It sometimes feels a little 'overdone' for me (too much too often etc.?) - but I think there may be a happy medium I could find. I sure wish you well! Hearing about your life is fun for me and reminds me of my aunt and uncle who are very active and golf a lot and also socialize a lot (and drink a lot!). I can definitely see how it could be a struggle not to over-do it. Anyway - all the best to you - I will miss your posts!!

Hi Blue! For years I would say I wanted to not drink on any given day and then when evening came I was right there drinking again. Over and over. I know how it is! When I first came on here people said to get a plan in place. After I quit for awhile (before modding) I looked back on that advice, and for me it was primarily 1) getting a substitute in place for when I would usually be drinking, 2) a plan for how I would handle cravings, and 3) a plan for what I would tell people if they asked about it or if it came up for any reason. Maybe if you try to come up with a plan it will help? Trust me, I know it's hard - I'm glad you're going to keep trying! After all, we all came here for a reason, right?

Thanks for keeping my friend and her family and her boyfriend's family in your prayers. Whenever I think about them I think how the world must have just stopped for them and I just can't imagine the grief they must be feeling.

Hope everyone else is doing OK - take it easy out there!

Thanks Frances! Today was my first AF day in quite a while. I feel pretty restlessness and thinking a bit too much but......hey I did it! I took my benadryl and would normally be sleep by now but here I am. Oh....well I'm going to watch some more tv....and hopefully get some rest. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.

[frances]

Sorry to hear you are taking a break from us TMH. I understand being in a good place. For myself, I worry about leaving just because I might forget somehow and lose all I have gained. It sometimes feels a little 'overdone' for me (too much too often etc.?) - but I think there may be a happy medium I could find. I sure wish you well! Hearing about your life is fun for me and reminds me of my aunt and uncle who are very active and golf a lot and also socialize a lot (and drink a lot!). I can definitely see how it could be a struggle not to over-do it. Anyway - all the best to you - I will miss your posts!!

Hi Blue! For years I would say I wanted to not drink on any given day and then when evening came I was right there drinking again. Over and over. I know how it is! When I first came on here people said to get a plan in place. After I quit for awhile (before modding) I looked back on that advice, and for me it was primarily 1) getting a substitute in place for when I would usually be drinking, 2) a plan for how I would handle cravings, and 3) a plan for what I would tell people if they asked about it or if it came up for any reason. Maybe if you try to come up with a plan it will help? Trust me, I know it's hard - I'm glad you're going to keep trying! After all, we all came here for a reason, right?

Thanks for keeping my friend and her family and her boyfriend's family in your prayers. Whenever I think about them I think how the world must have just stopped for them and I just can't imagine the grief they must be feeling.

Hope everyone else is doing OK - take it easy out there!

[blue1]

Really going to miss TMH......

I'm still struggling to try to get an AF day in.....I'm embarrassed to say. You guys are doing such a great job.
I think when I got depressed and started drinking so much has made it very challenging to get back in the swing of things....but I'll keep trying.


Sorry to hear about the young man passing....I'm praying for his family and friends.

Hope everybody is having a successful day!