I don't want to be totally AF......,

[frances]

Hi everyone - sounds like you're doing great TMH - I hope you can figure out the dizziness! Good for you for working out though - I'm so sedentary it's pathetic. Luckily I have genes that allow me to stay relatively thin even so - but I feel less 'strong' these days and would like to workout to feel more fit.

And welcome to you Actiongirl! Glad to see you here. Hopefully we can all help each other stay on track! I'm sitting here with my jasmine tea after a long 10+ hour day at work today. Enjoying it and looking forward to a relaxing evening even though I should probably clean up, I just might skip that tonight! I've seen all of Season 1 and 2 now of Nurse Jackie. ready to start season 3!

I think that addiction has many different 'varieties' and the best 'treatment' will be different depending on the person's specific situation. I guess it depends on how you define 'perfection' - but I I think that, for everyone, that doesn't necessarily have to mean total and complete abstinence 100% of the time. But for many, it does.

[actiongirl46]

TMH - I like your tag line!! "The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret" very nice.

[ToMyHealth]

Good morning! Hi Actiongirl. Welcome! I have watched all of Nurse Jackie, waiting for new season to start.
Attempted workout yest but almost fell off treadmill. Finally called dr. To see what the heck is going on with this dizziness. Playing golf, then afternoon appt.
got through our normal at home Happy Hour drinking tonic water with a shot of cranberry juice. No issues.

TMH
Day 4

[actiongirl46]

Hi All - I've been here for a year mainly in Newbies Nest with lots of ups and downs. Frances, I think my goal is very similar to yours. I'm not sure yet. My first goal is to string together some AF days this month. I did 14 in December, including Christmas, then had a few over last week on vacation (but daily), now on Day 2. I do not have the feck its and don't plan on getting them.

I read an interesting article comparing addiction treatment to diabetes/asthma, etc. They were talking about long term management in diabetes/asthma, not necessarily having an expectation of perfection. Hmm . . .

I am starting to binge watch Nurse Jackie too!! Good stuff!! I'm only on Season 1 though . . .

[frances]

Oh yes and on a lighter note I totally binge watched Nurse Jackie over the weekend - finished season 1 and into season 2! Did a lot of laundry and took Christmas decorations down and a few other small things while I watched. I really am enjoying it. Has anyone else seen it? It shows some great insight into addiction (pills) and I like that each episode is only ~30 minutes.

[frances]

TMH - Happy New Year! Good for you for setting your goal and for reaching day 3! :welldone: Keep up the good work! It definitely gets easier, especially after the first couple of weeks.

I'm glad you brought up talking more about AL here - I've had the same thought. I'm in a good place and my goal is to keep my drinking very infrequent. Jane from this site suggested a term for me (and at the time another moderator) - it was "abstinence-based moderation". I like that! I like drinking infrequently and keeping a couple of weeks or so in between times when I do drink. I'm very afraid that if I do any more than that then I will start to obsess about it again and might start caving to those thoughts. Thankfully that hasn't happened and I'm doing very well sticking with my new routine of seltzer or tea.

But as I've mentioned before I do wonder how I will do if I ever get into more frequent socializing. Lately socializing is so infrequent I can nearly drink any time those events come up (just one or two drinks). For example, I had dinner with my mom and brother on new years day - no need to have wine but I did it anyway. No big deal and yes, I'm doing great but I don't want to drink every time it's there in a social situation. I need to say no in some of those situations too. I know you socialize a lot TMH and that's one of the things that makes we wonder how I would do if that were me. I guess time will tell.

[ToMyHealth]

Happy to say I not only made it through the evening AF, I enjoyed myself. We left after half time. I am not worrying about not sleeping as I have in the past. If I can't sleep, I get up and watch tv or read & if I can take a nap the next day, I do.

From what I understand, alcohol leaves your system by Day 3.

TMH
Day 3

[ToMyHealth]

Want to check in and put out there I am going for some serious AF time. 30 days is my goal.
Vikings/packers play tonight and yep, you guessed it. Invited to a house pizza party. And the host told dh he has a present for me. What you want to bet it's chardonnay. ((Sigh))
If it is, it will keep. Have had O'Douls with pizza before and will be carting some along tonite.
As far as this thread goes, I wish we weren't quite so vague with our lives re: alcohol. I wish we were more open with both our successes and our struggles. I appreciate you, Frances, for giving us a good example. Now does that mean we all can do as well? Maybe not, but we strive to get better, change our habits, and if down the road like it was for Eve aka Addy we just need to stop, so be it!

TMH
Day 2

[frances]

Thanks Alpro. I know that most with alcohol trouble need to stop completely. I have to admit I never thought this could work for me but here I am.

With regard to your last sentence - this section of this site is for people who want to change their drinking - it is not for people who are starting out as moderate or normal drinkers, so I don't think that has anything to do with why this section is inactive. My guess is that the inactivity itself deters some. I don't know the history but some folks who may have been here in the past apparently have had issues with AF v. mod debates causing problems - maybe that's why they aren't here. Others may have decided to go AF or to leave, who knows.

I wish it was more active but if everyone has decided to go AF and that is why it isn't, then I'm truly happy for them. Nothing at all wrong with being AF and it's probably the best choice for the vast majority.

[ALpro]

Congratulations Frances on your success with moderation. That's very rare indeed. Most of us with an alcohol problem can only have NONE or PLENTY. I guess that's the reason this thread will never be very active. Moderate or "normal" drinkers would never have a reason to find this site.

Congrats again.

[frances]

Happy New Year all! Ducky that pork sounds great - how did it turn out? I went to my mom's for dinner yesterday - she had barbequed pork and it was very good - It was very last minute and she called and invited my family but my husband is getting a cold and didn't want to go and my two kids were up all night with their friends and so were tired and lazy yesterday. So it was just her, me and my brother and it was nice to have a low key time. I'm loving having two more days of weekend left! No plans but I have a monster pile of laundry to do so I'm going to try to get that done and maybe clean our office. We need to take the Christmas decorations down too. Hmm. I guess I have a lot to do, better get to it!

As for 2016 goals I haven't really set any. I will have to give that some thought. Ducky good luck with yours. Even though I'm successful now, I know how hard modding is - many unsuccessful attempts in my past! For me the key to success was first breaking my daily drinking habit and then after doing that, not allowing myself to drink very often for fear of getting back into that habit. It's working so far. Successful modding is definitely a great goal to have - I'm pulling for you!

[ducky]

Thanks satz123, I won't get into the debate either. Honestly, I have hesitated to post for quite a long time because it has not seemed safe to post even on a mods thread without igniting the AF vs Mods debate. I appreciate what you are saying and you obviously have a very good point. I guess I am not ready to be AF right now to be honest. I will leave it at that because I don't want to stir up the debate on the mods thread again.

[satz123]

Happy New Year modders. TMH I agree with you, I want to be like Frances when I grow up. We are smoking a porchetta today. A friend sent us a 13 pound pork belly for Christmas. I ordered a 6.5 pound tenderloin and we put the loin inside the belly and rubbed the whole thing with a salt/oil/herb mixture. Sat in the fridge on a rack for two days and the biggest piece is going on the smoker soon. Hope it is as good as it looks and smells. I am looking forward to 2016 being a better year in terms of modding. I feel like I am not accomplishing things I want to accomplish because of too much A. Hope this coming year is a good one for all.

Won't get into debate here but ....
Why don't you just stop Ducky.? Instead of hoping for a good year - you can be guaranteed one :hug:

[ducky]

Happy New Year modders. TMH I agree with you, I want to be like Frances when I grow up. We are smoking a porchetta today. A friend sent us a 13 pound pork belly for Christmas. I ordered a 6.5 pound tenderloin and we put the loin inside the belly and rubbed the whole thing with a salt/oil/herb mixture. Sat in the fridge on a rack for two days and the biggest piece is going on the smoker soon. Hope it is as good as it looks and smells. I am looking forward to 2016 being a better year in terms of modding. I feel like I am not accomplishing things I want to accomplish because of too much A. Hope this coming year is a good one for all.

[frances]

That's funny TMH - I sometimes feel like I'm all grown up now- definitely much more so than when I was drinking! I have found myself thinking about your recent post where you said - if only one, why not 'none'? I sometimes wonder why I even drink when I do, even though that is pretty darn infrequent (Christmas eve was the first drink since Thankgiving). But either way, if it's that infrequent and I only have one or two, I figure what difference does it make one way or the other? I'm not going to sweat it and worry about why I drink sometimes.

My daughter has asked if she could have some friends over New Years Eve and we have agreed. It will only be about ten kids I think. My biggest concern is if any of them drive. There will be no alcohol allowed, but I know teenagers and I am pretty sure that if they want to do it they will figure out a way. My daughter told me tonight "I already told them that is not happening" and I said "they asked???" and she said "No, I just told them ahead of time". Then we were talking about the one person who might be driving and she said "he doesn't drink anyway". Assuming that's true, that made me feel much better. These are kids ages 15-17 but I know what I was doing at that age so I can't kid myself and think that it's not a possibility.

Anyway those are our New Year's Eve plans! Your golf and happy hour sounds like fun!! Enjoy that and the movie too!