I don't want to be totally AF......,

[frances]

Going from heavy drinking to moderating means saying no to drinking a lot more than you used to. Someone posted this on the newbies nest and I thought I'd share it over here. I love #4 on her list.

What To Do When Someone Buys You a Drink*. (*And You Don't Drink). — HIP SOBRIETY

[frances]

Thanks blue. We are getting decorating done now which is fun - I can't wait until it's done and we can just enjoy it.

I have found myself thinking about drinking a little more the past couple of days. I haven't had a drink since Thanksgiving, but I found myself sort of thinking about allowing myself to drink more often since I've been doing so well - but I won't because I really really do not want to get back into that again. It was too much and if I drink more often I might get back to where I was. I came here for a reason. I was literally obsessed and had to drink every day and hated the idea of going anywhere where I couldn't drink. Life is so much better now that alcohol doesn't rule my life!

[blue1]

Oh...and Soooo happy your mom is feeling better Frances!

[blue1]

Thanks Blue! I wonder what made the asthma get bad like that. Maybe the stress and emotions from your sister's passing. I hope it gets better soon.

Ducky so nice to have you checking in here!

Stew and TMH hope you are both doing OK these days. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving - - -and now Christmas is right around the corner. We plan to get our tree this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. Mom's feeling much better lately so I'm very happy about that.

Take care everyone!

I'm so glad you guys are checking in over here!

Frances...somebody else said the same thing about the asthma and the stress....but I'm feeling much better these days...not normal but better.

Ducky...thanks for your concern!!!

After the holidays I'm going to get some AF time in.

Hope everyone is having a successful day!!!

[frances]

Thanks Blue! I wonder what made the asthma get bad like that. Maybe the stress and emotions from your sister's passing. I hope it gets better soon.

Ducky so nice to have you checking in here!

Stew and TMH hope you are both doing OK these days. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving - - -and now Christmas is right around the corner. We plan to get our tree this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. Mom's feeling much better lately so I'm very happy about that.

Take care everyone!

[ducky]

Hi Blue, glad you are feeling better. I don't have asthma but my allergies are worse this year than ever! Hang in there. Hope more modders will check in soon.

[blue1]

Hi Lex - no, I didn't use baclofen. I think my situation is rare but for me what seemed to work was being AF for a full 9 months (during that time I broke my habit of drinking every evening) and then when I decided to try moderating, it was not with a mindset of 'regular' moderate drinking, but rather 'rare' drinking. I don't drink the vast majority of the time now. My previous moderating attempts were unsuccessful when I told myself I could drink a certain number of drinks a week, etc. - that never worked because I always wanted to make sure I drank what I was allowed, and then I eventually exceeded that. Now, I basically don't drink. I have no 'allowable' amount except that if I do drink, I don't drink much. One or two drinks. And when I do drink it is at some social events, but not all of them. I referenced 'indifference' because I have read about that on the medication threads here and it feels like that is where I am now. I don't drink often and I don't drink much, and this is relatively easy for me - I don't have to have a constant battle in my head about when I can drink and how much I can drink.

My biggest concern about my current situation is that it works well for me now, at a time in my life when there are not many social events. But I wonder how I will do later in life when social events might increase. That's one reason that I stay cautious and keep reading here, etc. - I really do not want to go back to how I was before - obsessed with alcohol. But the short answer to your question is I have never used baclofen nor any other medication to help stop drinking.

Frances you are doing an awesome job!!!! And I'm sooo glad you post here!!!!

I am feeling a bit better....I have good days and not so good days with this asthma deal. I have never gone through anything like this in my life.

[frances]

Hi Lex - no, I didn't use baclofen. I think my situation is rare but for me what seemed to work was being AF for a full 9 months (during that time I broke my habit of drinking every evening) and then when I decided to try moderating, it was not with a mindset of 'regular' moderate drinking, but rather 'rare' drinking. I don't drink the vast majority of the time now. My previous moderating attempts were unsuccessful when I told myself I could drink a certain number of drinks a week, etc. - that never worked because I always wanted to make sure I drank what I was allowed, and then I eventually exceeded that. Now, I basically don't drink. I have no 'allowable' amount except that if I do drink, I don't drink much. One or two drinks. And when I do drink it is at some social events, but not all of them. I referenced 'indifference' because I have read about that on the medication threads here and it feels like that is where I am now. I don't drink often and I don't drink much, and this is relatively easy for me - I don't have to have a constant battle in my head about when I can drink and how much I can drink.

My biggest concern about my current situation is that it works well for me now, at a time in my life when there are not many social events. But I wonder how I will do later in life when social events might increase. That's one reason that I stay cautious and keep reading here, etc. - I really do not want to go back to how I was before - obsessed with alcohol. But the short answer to your question is I have never used baclofen nor any other medication to help stop drinking.

[lex]

Frances- do you attribute your success to baclofen?

[frances]

Thanks Ducky! I have checked out MM too and observed the same thing.

[ducky]

Frances I can definitely see why you are struggling w/r to where you fit in. The mods section is not very active unfortunately. And I can understand why you are uncomfortable posting on the AF threads. I think they are right that most people on this site cannot mod but there are exceptions such as yourself and I think those people feel uncomfortable posting on AF threads and starting the debate about moderating once again. In the past things have gotten rather heated. I personally fall more into the category of harm reduction than true modding at this point, although I am seeking to head toward modding. I am sometimes hesitant to post because in the past the mods threads have come under fire and have not been a safe place to post. In any event you are doing a fantastic job and should be proud of yourself. I hope you will keep posting and that we will hear from some others. FYI, I checked out MM and their boards seem even less active.

[frances]

Hope everyone had a great thanksgiving!

I'm having a hard time with MWO these days and where I fit in. I want to celebrate my success at moderating but I don't really feel like there is anywhere to do that. I guess this thread is the best place. I saw some posts on the Newbies Nest thread yesterday where they were talking about how no one who has had an AL problem in the past has ever been successful at moderating. And I know this is true for most. But I have been successful for a full year now and I am so happy about it and I want to celebrate! I don't want to go on that thread and challenge what they are saying because I don't want people on there who actually should not and cannot moderate to read that and think they can. Also I'm fairly certain that a good number of folks there would be very upset if I went on to that thread and talked about how successful I've been. So I'm posting it here. Maybe the person who seemed to be asking for someone to counter their claim will read this.

I am not just saying this but really not doing it – I have tracked it. Since November 2014 (after 9 months of complete abstinence) I have tracked each time I had a drink, the dates, how many, and the occasion (e.g., birthday dinner with mom, etc.). The stats are: average of 5 drinks per month, 1.6 drinks per occasion, and 3 occasions per month. If I remove vacations from the stats then it is an average of 3.5 drinks per month and 2 occasions per month.

The thing is, I never thought I could do this and I definitely don't have a problem with the AF threads continuing to keep that mentality...it is definitely true in most cases. I know this is NOT at all the norm. I continue to be amazed and happy. There hasn’t been a single time when I had regret about drinking over the past year, and not a single time where I overdrank. Most importantly, I don’t obsess over it. I don't have to plan or agonize about when I can/will drink and how to limit myself when I do. I have read on the medications thread about people achieving indifference on one of the medications. I feel like I have done that without meds. I am not at all how I used to be regarding alcohol. I am so pleased and I know that the support on this site from AFers and modders alike (probably AFers even more so, since my approach is more abstinence-based) has really helped and I am tremendously grateful for that!

Anyway – I’m feeling a little disconnected –I’m not sure what to do - - This thread is great but not very active unfortunately. And I just don’t feel comfortable posting on Abstinence threads – I feel like I’m misleading people if I don’t mention that I drink occasionally, and so therefore I feel like I shouldn’t post. I think I’m going to continue to read periodically but probably will stop posting for awhile and see if anything in my mindset changes.

[blue1]

I'm getting back on track. I really have had no desire to drink except for last night after my hockey game. I stayed out a little later than I wanted to because an old "fling" called me. We chatted for a while out at some bar and that she came to my place. She left though thankfully, nothing happened which was good. That's my one minor setback and I consider that.... minor.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING GUYS!!!!! Hope everyone is having a successful holiday!!!

[frances]

Hi all - hope you're feeling better Blue! Doing OK here...was very happy because mom was feeling so much better but towards the end of last week she started feeling very fatigued and nauseous. It's so hard to see her not feeling well - it's very very unusual she has always been healthy and very upbeat. if she doesn't start to feel better I don't think she'll want to go out to my brother's house for Thanksgiving. That will be hard.

Anyway - I'm staying on track here hope you all are too!

[Stewarts]

I'm getting back on track. I really have had no desire to drink except for last night after my hockey game. I stayed out a little later than I wanted to because an old "fling" called me. We chatted for a while out at some bar and that she came to my place. She left though thankfully, nothing happened which was good. That's my one minor setback and I consider that.... minor.