Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

I hope you can relax a little now Ava. It's hard being on watch 24/7. You need to take care of you too

Listening to the weather reports here & they're not fabulous. Looks like a big snow storm is on the way, uh oh. Grateful that I don't have to travel anywhere for the holiday.

Wishing everyone a good AF Tuesday!

Lav

[little beagle]

Ava thst is wonderful news. I am proud of you.

[abcowboy]

MAE Nestors! Great bunch of posts! I don't know what I'd do without MWO in the morning with my coffee! I always read something that I think about throughout the day. Things have been stressful for me over the last little while with the ex and daughter dearie, but I'm not going to let it get to me, let go and let God is my new attitude! Having a beer won't solve anything, and just create more havoc. So, working hard the past few weeks to make sure all my jobs are up to date and that I can take a week off to move Ash to Nebraska without worrying that I left a customer without heat or holding up other contractors till I get back. I actually find peace in my work, I love what I do and I can say after 40 years of doing it, I'm very good at what I do. Days don't always go as planned, but, tomorrow is a new day.

LB, love the Tuesday dog! Going to share that at my AA meeting tonight!

I heard someone say something that comes to my mind as soon as I think I need a drink, I wish I would have heard it a lot earlier in my life because it really helps me remember that "one" will never be enough....

People who can have just one or two don't have a voice in their head telling them they can

Have a great day/evening everyone, no drinkin' or drugin' eh!

[Twinkle79]

Hi everyone, still hanging in here but had some technology issues! My ex-boyfriend who moved out 2 weeks ago was the expert in all those things! I had a great sober weekend, got in to the Christmas spirit at an event with my mum with festive food, decorations, an attempt at ice-skating etc! My daughter is a bit under the weather so we had a lazy Sunday when she came back from her dad's, just watched some films, did some crafty bits and stuff. Yesterday, I picked up some new glasses which I'm really pleased with and walked my mum's dog for her, did a bit more Christmas shopping, and went to a good AA meeting, and today, I slept for almost 4 hours after I returned from taking my daughter to school! Not really sure why but it felt lovely! So it has not been a productive day but it has been another sober one. Sorry to read here of everyone with loved ones who are ill, you must be so proud of yourselves coping with everything strong and sober.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Hi all quick drive by!
LB so happy to see you!
I love all the little stories like the dog on the couch and Cowboy's about the voice
Matt M and Byrdie: I think Matt has come up with the emoji for DAY 1: a pitbull gnawing his genitals - sorry yall I laughed about that for hours ---- so Byrdie when you find THAT bestow it on open halo today (welcome btw open halo)

[narilly]

I love the stories too Ican. The voice is so true. Non alcoholics don't obsess about only having one. I KNOW I can't have just one!

The pitbull gnawing on poor Matt's private parts made me stop in my tracks too...I have a pit bull so I hope it wasn't mine! I think Ava has one too.

Ava, glad Robert is alive, and hopefully gets out of ICU soon. Glad your mum doesn't have cancer but it sounds like what she has might not be so good. So sorry babe.

Lav, our weather is taking a turn for the worse too. It is 0C right now and going to -20 or so on the weekend, of course, that is when we have our Christmas Party. Nothing like running from the car to the hall in a little freakin dress and shoes in the snow and -20. Not one of my favorite things to do. I like putting on the warm gear and going out, then its ok.

Talk later!

[Elvis]

Good morning! Was in short sleeves yesterday and tomorrow I most likely will be shoveling snow. Silly November weather!

Welcome back open halo, you've been here before, so you know the routine, so stay close to the forum, read as much as you can, post when you need to and don't be afraid to share what you are feeling. Don't be afraid of change, as you will see from a lot of success stories who post here regularly, you can stop drinking and while your life will change, it will be better for it.

Have a great day everyone!

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello Nesters,

Great to see everyone's doing so well.

Twinkle you will see as days pass you will have much better time. I recall during early days and after about a month or so I starting noticing things which I used to take for granted. Wow the evening night sky, those lights ! Lowers, rain droplets, fresh smell ! It was amazing as so many good things around and I was all too bypass just drinking away my life.

With years of drinking alone I am at a stage now that I have no friends, spouse with whom I have to heal lots of things BUT there is no much positivity all around that itself makes up everything.

Yes facing life can be hard and you feel more vulnerable, more emotional as things start affecting you more. Small setbacks can sound HUGE ! Depressing moments can be bad. But then that's LiFe! And experience ups and downs with no drugs.

Drugs ... Alcohol is a drug no one disputes that ! A drug is addictive, it's it nature. Smoking, chewing tobacco, meth, cocaine etc all are drugs. And so is AL. It messes your mind. Drugs nature is if you have it you will want it more. The ONLY way is to get it out of the system by not having it at all! It sounds so freighting in beginning but its the only way.

[Byrdlady]

A late check in for me! Had to meet a colleague in the city this morning.

Halo, snuggle on in here. You have come to a place where we KNOW how bad it can get....most all of us have been at the bottom of that pit. Just put one foot in front of the other and by next week this time, when you get your MOON for 7 days, EVERYTHING will be improved! It only takes a few AF days to help the smoke clear out. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF.

Twinkle, you are doing great!! We are so glad you're here!

Ava, your post demonstrated how much our thinking changes as we become sober people. While we are in active addiction, our first response is a drink. Good news? A drink. Bad news? A drink....a drink will solve it, at least that's what my voice kept telling me. You are sorting out your problems and prioritizing them, this is a skill that must be learned, wouldn't you agree? Learning new coping skills is what this is all about. Prioritizing the HAVE TO'S from the WOULD BE NICE's is something that does take some time to learn. We actually have to face our problems now and that's something we haven't been very good at....but with practice, we become proficient at that, too. I'm so proud to see how you are working thru this very stressful time in your life. Well done to you and hugs to your mom and Robert!!

I hope everyone has a strong plan in place for the rest of the week!
No, you can't have just ONE drink because it's Thanksgiving.
Special occasions don't exist for Alkies; peanut allergy people can't eat peanuts on their birthdays, and we can't drink AL at weddings or on our birthday or on holidays.
We don't have an OFF Switch, so don't have the first one...besides, what's ONE drink going to do for us, anyway? (nothin)
Don't let ANYBODY derail you. Our quit is the foundation of our lives....without it, the rest quickly crumbles. Protect your quit as if your life depends on it.
Not one of us drinks without thinking. THINK! This will not end well no matter how badly I want/need this drink it will only make matters WORSE. Drinking is the CAUSE of the problem! AL IS THE PROBLEM!!!
Do not drink AT other people to get even! I ate and drank AT folks for years and all I became was a fat drunk! Living well is the best revenge!!
Sips lead to SLIPS lead to falls. No, you can't 'just have a sip'. AL is OFF LIMITS. Period.

I am trying to think of things I have read in years past when folks were doing so well and then blew it over Thanksgiving! If I get some time, I will look thru the archives and maybe find some doozies....STRESS AND FAMILY are triggers, so be warned (as I am) that they are prolly going to push our buttons! I think the biggest thing is peer pressure at the meal....everyone else is having some and we throw the pity party and want to join in. The problem is that when everyone else knows when to quit....we keep going! Let them enjoy their wine, this is our problem, not theirs. One trick that helps me is to know that I already drank my share! Everyone else is still having his/hers, but my share is gone! Don't be sad about this, it is just stuff in a glass! Focus on the people and the food! This isn't deprivation this is self preservation! Be grateful that you are no longer dependent on a substance that dictates your next decision. MindPeace is so much better than any buzz I ever had.

Now that I got all that off my chest!! I hate to see anyone get derailed over the holiday by getting caught off guard....so I am trying to anticipate the pot holes so you can avoid them!

Hope everyone has an easy day!! Byrdie

Note to self: Look for PitBull knawing genitals emoticon....

[Byrdlady]

I dug this one up from the archives....it seems to embody the sentiments of those that fell over the past Thanksgiving holidays....

"I've been off the wagon since late last week when I traveled to see family for Thanksgiving. I simply didn't prepare myself enough to say no to the first glass of wine that was offered, and it was all downhill from there.

I'm dusting myself off and jumping right back on this board. I hate day one, but it's the only way to day 30, day 100, or day 1,000. I'm going to give it 100 percent, and do what it takes to never be here starting over again.

My hat is off to those of you who made it through Thanksgiving without a drink. You were able to dig a little deeper than I was."


So get your plans in place BEFORE you get caught off guard by Uncle Willie handing you a beer, or Aunt Sally putting her glass of wine in your face! You WONT hurt their feelings by saying NO! You can't tell them they're ugly, but you CAN tell them NO, you don't drink!! Stay strong, everyone! Don't be a statistic! Day 1 sucks and I can attest to that!!! B

[Pinecone]

Gosh, Byrdie you put it so well there. We do need to be prepared for the drink offers. Most of them will come from well meaning people who don't get the scope of our issue. Just smile and say "no thanks" and get on with real life. It won't mean much to them I'm sure. I often read on here how people think they have some obligation to drink. "I live in a drinking area" or "it would be very bad manners to refuse". Let's be really honest about this and know that it is in our heads. We need to seal up these leaks if we want AF life.

I enjoy the heck out of Thanksgiving and I don't drink. If this is going to be your first AF one then you have my RESPECT! So many good things are waiting for us on each step of the road. Think of all your friends here, smell the turkey, eat loads and have a great time! Who said anything about deprivation?
I'm running on one hour of sleep in the past couple of days so I hope that makes any sense!

[MossRose]

Byrdie - " You can't tell them they're ugly..." Too funny. Thanks for my laugh today. However, probably a much better chance of that happening, or worse, with some AL in our systems, right? I'm going to remember this line on Thanksgiving. My relatives will probably be wondering what I find so darn funny. Actually, I'm lucky because even if I wanted to drink (and I don't), I wouldn't dare in front of my sons. This is the first time in over 3 years that we will all be together on Thanksgiving and I plan to make them proud and glad they came. We'll be down a few people this year because of Black Friday, now Thursday, since many work retail. Don't even get me started on that nonsense. But I do think it's a shame.

Just a quick check in tonight. I have some phone calls to return, so need to run. Stay strong everyone.

[Suek]

So get your plans in place BEFORE you get caught off guard by Uncle Willie handing you a beer, or Aunt Sally putting her glass of wine in your face! You WONT hurt their feelings by saying NO! You can't tell them they're ugly, but you CAN tell them NO, you don't drink!! Stay strong, everyone! Don't be a statistic! Day 1 sucks and I can attest to that!!! B[/QUOTE]

Especially if you are travelling to someone's house for dinner, be prepared and bring your NA drink of choice, some flavored club soda or bottled water or whatever. Don't count on anyone to have that on hand! Sure there will be plenty of beer & wine......but can't count on the NA.
When they offer you AL you can say, no thanks, not drinking today....I brought club soda or whatever....that way you have something to indulge in and won't be tempted.......

I am lucky enough to be hosting Thanksgiving so have club soda in several flavors, fruit juice, special herbal teas....you name it I am armed and ready...even some sparking cider !

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

That's the way to do it Sue - plan ahead

My son shows up occasionally with a small cooler with beer for himself & his Dad. They have a couple then they are done. No one else (daughter & daughter-in-law) really wants or needs to drink here & I sure as hell don't go to the wine store for them, LOL This has become our 'normal' here over the past 6 years & everyone is happy

Narilly, I know it really gets cold & snowy where you are located. Here it's just a nuisance really. Stay warm & stay safe!

OK, I have the TV all to myself tonight so I guess I'll find something to watch!
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night!

Lav

[open halo]

This is very inspiring, knowing that you are able to give so much more when you don't even look torward Al as a crutch...

"To deal with this sober has been the biggest gift I have given to myself" Is a quote I am going to hold close to me... I am in the midst of depression do to my actions under the influence, and want to drink again to escape the pain, am fighting against it with the help of reading the nest again.