~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[Jude58]

Happy Memorial day folks! The sun is shining this morning and it is glorious to see as we've had nothing but rain and cool temps for more days than I can count. Yay!

After my divorce I did live alone for a couple of years. I often got lonely but it wasn't too bad because I was working and interacted with people everyday. Slo, have you ever thought of volunteering somewhere? It would get you out of the house and around other people. Just a thought.

Personally, I don't want to have a funeral. I just want to be cremated with no fuss, and I think that more and more people are doing the same. I love the idea that many folks opt to have a celebration of life instead of a funeral. Much more positive I think.

I'm in for another sober day!

[Rava]

Good morning Cafe. Ginger, I hope you have a great sisters trip this year! Jude, glad the weather is cooperating now. It’s cloudy here right now but supposed to clear up today. I talked to my step mother and she has agreed to call hospice tomorrow. I doubt that she means it. There is nothing I can do. I am praying for my dad to go soon. His body is ready but she is not willing to let him go. Sometimes the one that is left behind is the one that makes ridiculous decisions regarding what is the best care. I am continuing to lay low as it’s almost over. Today we are having some of our kids and grandkids over for burgers, fishing and crabbing. Should be a busy but fun day. Slo, I also wonder if a volunteer opportunity would be a good way for you to be around others. Something not physical. You can find lots of opportunities online in your area. Hope everyone has a good Memorial Day. 24 more please and thank you. PS I have a pest company coming tomorrow. We have ants and more ants. I have sprayed and sprayed. UGH.

[Ginger999]

Rava, have you ever tried Terro for your ant issues? I'd keep them around even after the pest guy comes. They aren't spendy and work great around here for sugar ants.

https://www.walmart.com/brand/terro/10023156

ABC, you're almost done! Thank you.

We had a lovely thunder storm last night. This morning things are a sparkling green. Feel bad for the guy below us though. His first cutting of hay is down. Must be over 20 acres. Darn good thing there's a heat spell coming. He'll be turning it today, tomorrow and probably Wednesday too, if he wants to save it.

Cyrus has taken to waking me up at 430a. I'm looking forward to sleeping in on this trip. Lol I'll take another day of freedom!

[dill]

Ginger, I too use Terro liquid ant baits. Worked like a charm for us just last week. The thunderstorm sound like it was good. Your neighbor should be ok if there is dry weather for a few days.

I guess my take on funerals is that I won't be around so I would leave it to my family members to decide what works best for them. I would prefer not to have a viewing, but if that is what they need in order to process things for themselves, then so be it. Also, I would like to be cremated but would like my ashes buried in a cemetery plot. I just asked Mr. D how he feels about having a viewing/funeral and he said he really doesn't want anything. I could live with that, but I do wonder how the kids and grandkids would be able to process things... I guess we'll have to talk about it again sometime soon.

Rava, I hope your stepmom allows hospice to come to the house at the very least. They could help with his care and her ability to learn how to let go.

Jude, I bet being employed did help you cope with the change after you divorced. Did you keep the house or did both of you change your living arrangements? How long before you remarried? Just curious. Don't answer if I'm getting too personal.

Slo, volunteer jobs are a good idea. There are all kinds of them so I bet you could find one to fit your physical limitations.

Cowboy, I hope you get it all done this week!

24 more for all of us please.

[Slo]

I’m home now from D3’s house. I am grappling with how I think I’m family, but they don’t consider me family -just a visitor who is getting in the way of their nuclear family time. I have been trying to pour myself into my grandma role with all these new little ones, but think I need to reconsider and pull back if they don’t want me around. I sure enjoyed time & cuddles with 9-month-old Ayla! And 2 y/o Andy sure enjoyed having Grandma around! But, oh well. While I want a family, this society is set up for work and for nuclear families. So, I will have to change course and distract myself with card games and maybe a painting class. And go visit other adults; leave the young ones alone. I will miss the intense, high quality time with the grands though! But no more inserting myself where I’m not wanted.

I am not ready to volunteer yet. I have a long way to go sorting this foot out. And a long way to go getting my brain back online and sorting all this nerve damage and fatigue out before I am ready to do that.

Jude, did your SIL have a funeral?

Ginger, sounds like that guy has a lot of work ahead drying the hay. Happy for you and your sister vacation!

Cowboy, yes, thank for helping with our food supply. I hope you have a good week in the fields.

Rava, you crab up north too?! Good luck with your fun Memorial day -but busy with hosting -and hope your pasta salad turned out well.

Hi to Dill & Mull too!

[Jude58]

Good morning cafe!

Slo, no my sil did not want a funeral. She just wanted to be cremated and at a later date have family and friends come to a celebration of life party. Personally, that's what I would do as well.

Dill, after my divorce I lived in an apartment for about a year before buying a house out in the country. I met Mr. J in 2005 and we were married in 2009. My ex kept the house, but eventually remarried and moved to another city. We are still friends though which is really nice.

Rava, I hope that your step mother comes to her senses and calls hospice today. They were wonderful in caring for my sil towards the end.

I'm in for another 24 hours of peace...

[Rava]

Good morning Cafe. Slo, I am sorry your weekend left you feeling like an outsider. The kids probably loved you there. We are still having an ant problem. I have tried Terro traps and they work pretty well in Florida. Problem here is that I think they are in the wall. I have called an exterminator and decided to start a quarterly spraying. I don’t like ants, spiders or any other creepy crawlers. So this problem will be over soon! My stepmother agreed to call hospice today. I doubt she will and like I said it wont be much longer. I basically told her that since he wants to die at home this is his best option. The only other option is that he falls at home and ends up dying in the hospital. He has become very belligerent and since he can’t take care of himself he needs to listen and get hospice involved. Stubborn old man issues! Our little cookout turned out well. All the grands love a golf cart. We caught a few crabs that were too small to keep and about 100 minnows which we let go. It’s all about making memories with the kids. Memories that don’t include spending money! Ok heading to exercise class. Hope everyone has a great Tuesday. 24 more please and thank you.

[abcowboy]

4:40am in Alberta, 24 more for me please, and thanks...

In the last 24 hours, these friends have joined in for 24 hours of wellness:
Jude58 Rava Ginger999 dill Slo

Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!

[abcowboy]

We sure discuss some crazy things here in the Cafe lol. I think cremation and celebrations of life have really gained in popularity around here as well. I want a traditional funeral but don't really care if there's a viewing or not. That would be up to Bubba and the kids to decide.

Hope y'all had a great Memorial Day!

[Ginger999]

Rava, ants in the walls!? Yikes, that makes my skin crawl. I'm glad you have a professional helping you with this! You are right, it will be over soon.

Headed to coffee with an old workmate then up to entertain the greats while mom and dad clean and organize their garage. I should be sufficiently exhausted tonight. Lol

Slo, im sorry you feel that way about visiting D3 and family. Did something particular happen or was it just a gut feeling you left with?

Hey to all my Cafe pals!

I'll take another day

[Slo]

Ginger, I asked if I could stay an extra day, and D3 got really upset about how she needs a day with her family, and I needed to clear out. It just really hit me about how I am not family. I am alone, and disabled, and I do not have a family.
It’s the same at D2’s: the son-in-law always wants nuclear family time, so I don’t feel welcome there, even though they only live 13 minutes away.

I managed to get my trash out to the curb this morning, but everything is so hard with the painful foot to walk on, and the locked left SI joint in my pelvis, and the dizzy head. It’s disorienting and exhausting.

I do not want a funeral either. Just cremate me, and have a tiny graveside service at most.

Sounds like a nice day, Rava!

D1 has invited me up today to stay with Mabel in the evening while the rest are out to ballgames. As it’s hard to stay alone when I can’t be active & normal, I will gladly welcome the distraction!

[dill]

Slo, the topic of adult children being caught up in their own lives and not being thoughtful of their aging parents was a side theme in the BBC episode of A Touch of Frost that we were watching last evening. It was dealt with both seriously and humorously in that episode. Seems to be a universal problem in Western countries. I'm sorry you felt like you were not welcome. I can't imagine that was intentional on D3's part. Who knows what was going on in their minds and hearts? Could have been a marital tiff going on in the background. Could just be immaturity.

A Touch of Class is a British crime drama series that ran for 15 seasons beginning in 1992. I came across it on our Roku app that came on our TV.

Cowboy, I too think it's funny some of the things we cover here! But it's all part of life, eh? I forgot to mention that my parents were both cremated and buried together in a single plot...Kind of a two-fer, lol. I wasn't involved in the arrangements, and I never asked my brother if that was a cost savings or not. I wish I had. And, I too want to thank you for your role as a farmer! I think of you every time I reach for my bottle of canola oil!

Jude, that's really good that you and your ex have maintained a friendship. I would hope I would have been able to do something like that if I had ever divorced.

Rava, your day with the grands sound idyllic. I think the kind of fun you had and memories you created are the stuff of life.

Have fun on your trip, Ginger.

Waves, Mulburry.

24 more for all of us here, please and thank you.

[Jude58]

Well, we've had a glorious 2 day stretch with sunshine, temps near 70

[Jude58]

Well, we've had a glorious 2 day stretch with sunshine, temps near 70

[Jude58]

I give up! Just lost 2 posts. 24 more please!