September Army!!!

[rustop59]

Re: September Army!!!

:yay:
Just wondering Rusty - does hubby & family know ? Do they see the difference in you ?
Or did you just drink when alone ?

I was highly functioning. Never drank during day, could keep it under control in company. Usually the designated driver. Doubt hubby even registered how much I was sneaking extra when he wasn’t watching when I was drinking with him. Don’t know if they have noticed a difference, nobody has mentioned it. Probably too busy with their own lives. It was the drinking alone and to oblivion that was soul destroying. It didn’t happen all the time but when it did Uggh. So glad those days are over. Good to remember though. It ran through my head this morning when he was packing and I had a moment of pure gratitude.

[JackieClaire]

Re: September Army!!!

Morning, I was zorsted, its blowing a gale and I've got a stinky rotten cold and will miss my trip to town.........tell you what .........it'll be another 30 years before we do a clearout.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]............YS has got to get himself off the pity pot. I doubt there's a single soul here on MWO or in AA hasn't been to Hell and back (and for a good few more than once) so every alcoholic will relate in some ways or others to what he's going through.........that being said he needs to be with those people everyday who understand...........he needs to get back to 90 meetings in 90 days........doesn't matter what state he's in...they don't care....they'll have seen worse. If he's there every single day people will greet him, look out for him, be pleased to see him............I've heard it said that the 15 minute break as well as the coffees after does more good than the meetings.....Its a routine. It will give him purpose and structure and friends..........its called a fellowship for those reasons.

He's not doing it to piss you off he's doing because he thinks he's beyond help....... he's not........ but he has to put his hand out to grab the hands that are being offered to him.

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

Morning, I was zorsted, its blowing a gale and I've got a stinky rotten cold and will miss my trip to town.........tell you what .........it'll be another 30 years before we do a clearout.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]............YS has got to get himself off the pity pot. I doubt there's a single soul here on MWO or in AA hasn't been to Hell and back (and for a good few more than once) so every alcoholic will relate in some ways or others to what he's going through.........that being said he needs to be with those people everyday who understand...........he needs to get back to 90 meetings in 90 days........doesn't matter what state he's in...they don't care....they'll have seen worse. If he's there every single day people will greet him, look out for him, be pleased to see him............I've heard it said that the 15 minute break as well as the coffees after does more good than the meetings.....Its a routine. It will give him purpose and structure and friends..........its called a fellowship for those reasons.

He's not doing it to piss you off he's doing because he thinks he's beyond help....... he's not........ but he has to put his hand out to grab the hands that are being offered to him.

Agreed 100% -- however -- just from what you say Benjy - does he think he's beyond help - or does he still believe it's a bit of a fuss about very little? If like Jackie says he feels helpless - well then what she says - imo - is the ONLY way to go - the long-termers will grab a hold of him - in the nicest possible way - they'll engage with him - they'll talk - they'll recommend - and the chat between times or even beforehand making the cup of coffee - priceless -- he really really needs it - and yes - the 90 in 90 needs to be done - 3 months isn't long - but it's a start - and it will give him long enough to look around and see the mess his life had become.. but it's where he thinks he is on the scale of alcoholics -- that's the problem maybe... he may think he's 'not as bad as' - but ironically - if he looked around himself at an AA meeting - he's probably in a worse place than 90% of people at that meeting

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

AND -- for years I said 'I will do everything to get sober -- EXCEPT (go to AA)' -- well that statement HAS to be ' I will do anything to get sober' FULL STOP

[satz123]

Re: September Army!!!

I don't think he wants to get sober permanently - he says when he has a few on him that he likes drinking.
Drank for the full week we were away.
I found a full bottle of vodka in the fridge - he doesn't even know it's there

AA is a hit & miss affair and he goes to all different ones - so never meets anyone properly.

Then again - does he go at all ?

The time is coming to cut him loose..............

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

I don't think he wants to get sober permanently - he says when he has a few on him that he likes drinking.
Drank for the full week we were away.
I found a full bottle of vodka in the fridge - he doesn't even know it's there

AA is a hit & miss affair and he goes to all different ones - so never meets anyone properly.

Then again - does he go at all ?

The time is coming to cut him loose..............

Well unfortunately if that's how he feels - and he even says it's how he feels (lots of us underneath may have admitted to ourselves even into sobriety that we quite liked how we felt after a small few) - well nothing - NOTHING is going to change - NOBODY will change his mind - it has to come from within - cut him loose? If you weren't his parent he'd be gone long ago.. and that IS the right thing.. but is it the thing YOU can do? You need to really answer that for yourself before you threaten anything - I do feel personally that at this stage I'd be so angry I'd have his belongings in a black bag at the front door tbh -- probably near die of stress afterwards - but the anger would take me over

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: September Army!!!

Hello Lovies!
Having a big read back.

[RunningCourage]

Re: September Army!!!

Evening... daren't write much cos MWO is taking eons to load up... as compared to any other site, so it aint my tinternet connection ...

[JackieClaire]

Re: September Army!!!

Seems back to normal for me.

Its the 15th anniversary of my bezzie mate's death from breast cancer..........only bloody 46 years old and still had a shit-load of life to live. Never got to see her beautiful girls grow into fine young women.

Satz, love, if he doesn't want to stop or he doesn't feel the need then let him get on with it but in his own place. If he wants a rock bottom he'll soon find it there. This is so unfair on you and Mr. S, I could spit fire. I know that I've told you & Molls off the boards I thought Jenny may have a problems with the drink but this has more or less gone since she left the fiance, started teaching and realised she's no spring chicken (32 years old). I had to tell her no more squeaky, sobbing phone calls in the middle of the night, no more veiled reference to her awful childhood (I'm still trying to work that one out............funny how the S&H didn't see it like that) but just told her that by me being sober and by living sober showed her I was trying.

[IamMary]

Re: September Army!!!

I was highly functioning. Never drank during day, could keep it under control in company. Usually the designated driver. Doubt hubby even registered how much I was sneaking extra when he wasn’t watching when I was drinking with him. Don’t know if they have noticed a difference, nobody has mentioned it. Probably too busy with their own lives. It was the drinking alone and to oblivion that was soul destroying. It didn’t happen all the time but when it did Uggh. So glad those days are over. Good to remember though. It ran through my head this morning when he was packing and I had a moment of pure gratitude.

Ha, I could have written that Rustop. But i did take it up a notch over the last year. I was very controlled and very careful (aka sneaky) for years, but it was always on my mind.. the planing, the watching, the extra drinks between drinks, the hidden bottles, the bottle disposing... and on and on.

Like young Satz, I didnt want to give it up entirely, sure none of us wanted that, we just wanted to be able to drink 'normally'. I think until we realise AND accept that thats not an option, all attempts will be just that, attempts.

I don't think he wants to get sober permanently - he says when he has a few on him that he likes drinking.

[IamMary]

Re: September Army!!!

Bet that was a bit worrying about Jenny [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], buts she's flying it now, by the sounds of it :happy2: How are you feeling?

My lot are camping, up near Molly.. Possibly freezing.. I, on the other hand, am melting by the fire.

Morning Bridge...

[RunningCourage]

Re: September Army!!!

Morning troops - up early, staggered sleep, not sure why. But hey it's Saturday so my long run day and then... prep But it's way more relaxing than actually teaching - tho not nearly as exciting. backinabit.

[rustop59]

Re: September Army!!!

Good morning everyone. Just about to go on hike with a friend. Have a wonderful Saturday.

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

Off ye go on yer runs and trecks! good for ye! off to work me - up all night too Arsey so we can moan together later:thumbsup:

Morning to all else -- laters gaters

[JackieClaire]

Re: September Army!!!

Morning lovelies,
Taking a few clothes down to a dressmaker to get them altered............lost so much weight when I was poorly its going to take an age to put back on that I decided to get them altered or they'll just fester at the back of the wardrobe.

Other than that the day's my own.